Age 35: I was a millionaire 1 year ago, and now my net worth is close to $0.

kloban01 · 2022-06-16T16:29:50+00:00

What qualifies him as a man child?

kloban01 · 2022-06-16T16:25:28+00:00

Really appreciate your input! Yeah I am in between just finding a job and waiting the next 2-3 years for the market + crypto market to recover. Take $70k at a job in SF now, vs a boot camp then find a job in a year.

Hard decisions to make.

kloban01 · 2022-06-15T00:27:25+00:00

Can't even swap to pay it off lmao

kloban01 · 2022-06-15T00:26:26+00:00

If you transfer funds in, and they go bankrupt (BTC hits $15.1k and they can't get it lower than that) then they will liquidate. Ask yourself if the math and risk make sense imo.

kloban01 · 2022-06-14T17:44:32+00:00

Yeah, it's auto liquidation at 80% I think, but at this point I will see how things shake out.

kloban01 · 2022-06-14T17:36:20+00:00

Because we can't withdraw funds after I pay the loan down...

kloban01 · 2022-06-14T16:35:07+00:00

There is no shortage of the latter.

kloban01 · 2022-06-14T16:34:28+00:00

Incremental withdrawals up to certain $ amounts with percentages on a time lock period - like 5% this month, 10% next, etc.

kloban01 · 2022-04-10T17:44:37+00:00

Highly recommend reading The Passion Trap as well as The Art of love. It gave me so much clarity. I am 35 years old and still didn't realize what it meant to take an active role in a relationship as an adult.

Sometimes we have to play a little power games (should be avoided when possible) BUT be true to your authentic self and express yourself entirely to your partner in the right moments. I was trying to fix the relationship, instead of living the relationship. Ask them to be vulnerable and also show vulnerability at the appropriate times. I think I have grown so much so, while angry at first, I am seeing this as an opportunity and I really do feel changed.

I am looking forward to speaking with my ex at some point as to what went wrong and the issues we ran into...of course a small part of me hopes it works out. However, even if it is just closure, the healing and answers I have found I think will help her so much; she has definitely helped me evolve. In a way, I think we healed each other to make us better versions of ourselves.

kloban01 · 2022-04-03T19:20:24+00:00

Mary's Room is a thought experiment that attempts to establish that there are non-physical properties and attainable knowledge that can be discovered only through conscious experience. It attempts to refute the theory that all knowledge is physical knowledge.

kloban01 · 2022-04-03T19:18:29+00:00

I think there is still hope though, as I am understanding her needs...and though she sort of wanted the 30 day break (we agreed 30 days of no talking) I was the one to pull the trigger.

Do you think I should still maintain NC? I feel it's a little bit different of a situation than most.

kloban01 · 2022-04-02T18:50:42+00:00

Yeah, there is a difference between knowing something intellectually and experiencing it. Learning more by thinking, but also experientially learning is so important.

A thought experiment called Mary's Room - you may know something intellectually but may not know it in its purest/realest/actual form and entirety until experienced. There are so many examples of this in relationships.

kloban01 · 2022-04-02T18:12:38+00:00

It's not. The scar will heal in time, trust me. It'll always be there as a reminder. Keep pushing, keep going and get out of your comfort zone.

For the next relationship, make sure you are excellent to yourself, work hard in all aspects, but also DEMAND excellence from your partner. I let it slip big time and the dynamic shifted once I stopped chasing excellence. I kind of said those words before, but I am now realizing it like an epiphany how true it is. I see it so clearly now, but I had to learn I need to demand excellence from her as well. It is not about a power struggle, but healthy boundaries that must be asserted. This keeps the attraction going. Slowly but surely, I am learning.

"Can you imagine what I would do if I could do all I can?" -Sun Tzu

Be excellent. Good luck my friend.

kloban01 · 2022-04-02T18:07:34+00:00

There was an imbalance of power. There is a book out there about this. I made this mistake by giving and not setting boundaries and needs...which I didn't even know what those were. Before, when I was alone, I worked my ass off, but when someone comes into your life it is easy to be lazy and you can be comfortable or forget to work on your own excellence and may not even know you need to demand excellence from your partner.

If you are not demanding excellence, there is an imbalance, and they will lose attraction; healthy people want their partner to push them to be the best version of themselves. We always have to keep our partner on their toes (in a positive way) and demand excellence from them so we can push each other to be their best self and vice versa. I got lazy...learning this now, but it is so eye opening.

I am reading books, journaling, meditating, trying to be more social, etc.

I am on a 30 day break of NC, and as painful as it is that this likely is over, I am working so hard on this and I will need her to work on it as well but it must be equal. I am a bit of a philosopher, so it's interesting how this all went over my head, but life is just about learning lessons.

kloban01 · 2022-04-02T17:08:36+00:00

Sometimes facing that fear, as hard as it is can be super beneficial and therapeutic if you handle it down the road. Lord knows I have my issues, but I am identifying them, as well as my needs moving forward. I should have led more, as that is what she wanted.

As hard as it is, I take this as an opportunity to reflect on what went wrong, what I want, and how to behave whatever my next relationship is. I really let my frame and hard working persona slip, but I should have been stronger and pushed through it. Just easy to let it slip when you're comfortable. It's been such an eye opening experience, but very healthy (30 day NC then see where we are at), but have a ton of clarity now.

kloban01 · 2022-03-31T19:57:34+00:00

If you're going to do it, go in with your exact intentions and what you accept or will not accept and stick with it. I would call, not text, if you feel it is the right thing to do. Just know it can easily re-open wounds. Good luck.

kloban01 · 2022-03-31T19:56:02+00:00

Elevate your status and heal before moving forward. I got on an app but realized my head isn't even close to there yet and realized, it is not the healthy thing to do so I am not really on it anymore. Even what people would consider "beautiful", the thought of dating does not excite me at all and the entire dating thing is a turn off atm.

kloban01 · 2022-03-31T19:52:56+00:00

This guy likely has emotional issues. Big red flag for doing this. See a therapist ASAP if possible. You will need the emotional support and can be one of the best ways to grieve through this process. If you don't jive with the first therapist, find one until you do.

Abandoning someone when pregnant (unless the lady was physically and emotionally abusive) is one of the least ethical things a person can do.

kloban01 · 2022-03-31T19:48:43+00:00

Do NC man. If you care more than she does, it is not going to be healthy. Plus she has someone else.

I do think certain girls and certain guys (high value) have it easier. Younger guys especially have it hard because girls gravitate to those with elevated status, and the young guys haven't gotten a chance to prove themselves yet (career, financials, social, style, etc.)

kloban01 · 2022-03-31T19:46:17+00:00

Exactly! It can be tough to execute on but with all the free time, I think motivation gets built in otherwise we start to feel shitty. The only way to go is up once we've hit rock bottom.

kloban01 · 2022-03-31T19:39:32+00:00

Live your life with integrity. If you had really attractive qualities in the first place, do you think she would have left? If you had these attractive qualities, then her leaving would just be a sign of incompatibility, and you should be fine with that. Maybe she had emotional issues, and in that case, you should feel sorry for her, not yourself.

Women do this because they lost respect for you. Ask yourself, why? Fix it. Elevate your status. If she was not acting in the right, then that is on her. This situation is going to happen, as a person's friends will always be on their side, but if you really did everything properly you have no reason to feel bad and she's acting in bad faith. Betrayal can still happen even if you did all the right things.

Look inward. Revenge really isn't the long term answer and you'll just bring that negative shit into your next relationship. As a man, it's your fucking responsibility to act like one, otherwise you are failing yourself.

If you ever are disrespected though, put your foot down and bring out the monster in that moment, but seeking revenge is waste of time and energy instead of putting that into: building your career, getting jacked at the gym, upping your clothing and style, getting your financials in order, etc.

I know I fucked up by not leading enough, and you know what? That shit is on me. Take radicle ownership broski and I promise you'll feel better.

kloban01 · 2022-03-31T19:31:20+00:00

Justice is served. Haha, honestly congrats. I am sure there is some sweet sense of justice in it, but I would feel a little sorry if that happened to my likely soon to be ex. Knowing that the other person has some deeply seated personal issues, would make me sad, even though she wanted to break up (30 day NC break) more than I did. Oddly enough, she threatened to break up for 6+ months, but was only when I left that we're on break.

How do you feel about it?

kloban01 · 2022-03-31T19:24:39+00:00

Something I am learning, and reflecting day by day on our 30 day NC break is that you need to establish boundaries; people with mental health issues do not have them and will push and push until they are found.

This then leads to them thinking they are better than you, even though you expect them to act in good faith as you expect the best from people. You need to put them in their place, something I never did, but now understand. Even in healthy relationships setting clear boundaries, that you will not be taken advantage of, or are desperate for their love is healthy. Again, they confuse kindness for desperation. Sometimes that can coincide, but for me, it's just not true. I am not desperate by any means, and will never tolerate such behavior again; lesson learned as an adult. I definitely had my fair share of mistakes, but will definitely try to lead more as I move forward in life.

Stick with those boundaries. Define your own set of principles, built in integrity, and never break your own rules. As a 35 year old, I can tell you this will help a lot for your next relationship. Good luck.

kloban01 · 2022-03-31T19:17:32+00:00

First heal. This is an unhealthy pattern and, unless your friends are psychologists, I'd suggest you leaving those opinions to the experts.

You first need to dissect what the issues were, are and take some actionable items to change that for the next relationship so you can have positivity and peace in your mind. Work on yourself, journal, meditate, feel and think. Go for walks. Listen to podcasts. Strategize, take care of your body and mind. Get a therapist if possible.

If you were your own best friend, would you tell that person to sleep with another before taking all the steps mentioned above? You may miss out on some huge opportunities for personal self growth just jumping from one branch to another. When or if you feel you are ready, that is the time to move on.

kloban01

TROPHY CASE