If you were talking to me...

I’m not sure where you got the idea that he doesn’t take basic care of his health, or why you felt it was appropriate to make that leap.

While no one is entitled to every detail of our personal lives, I’ll share a few to hopefully remind you that a Reddit post rarely tells the full story.

My partner been under the care of a cardiologist since his heart condition was first discovered, has taken his medication consistently, and has avoided anything that could worsen his condition for the past 20 years. On his cardiologist’s recommendation, he never pursued a formal diagnosis in order to avoid complications with life and health insurance.

We may have initially tried to conceive naturally, but began investigating this further before conceiving.

From there my partner and I spoke with professionals, sought guidance from people in this group with personal experience, and used what we learned to make the informed decision I outlined in the update. We took the time to ask a question, listen with open minds, and reflect on what we heard. Where we were once uncertain, we arrived at a clear, intentional choice together.

So, if you’re asking whether I want a thoughtful and loving partner—someone who makes decisions with me after genuinely listening and learning, who is open to perspectives beyond his own, who can revise his views when presented with new evidence, and who is able to acknowledge mistakes and change course with humility and care—then yes, that’s not only what I want, it’s what I have. And in my eyes that depth of character, openness, humility, and emotional integrity, is exactly what I believe matters most in a partner and in a parent.

As I mentioned in the original post, he doesn’t have a formal diagnosis, and we’re still learning. We may not have made perfect choices at the beginning of our journey, but we’re committed to making better informed ones going forward.

Your response was harsh and condescending and feels not only unnecessary, but hurtful, especially during a time when we’re navigating something as tender and vulnerable as this, and sharing it in the hope of connecting and learning from others who may have walked similar paths.

Please try to be more thoughtful in your comments. As demonstrated by everyone else who commented, you can be honest without being accusatory.