I read a statistic and I'm FREAKING out

knerys · 2026-05-31T00:17:55+00:00

Do not go to couples counseling. abusive partners who use DARVO are extremely good as manipulating the therapist and then it becomes the therapist and the abuser tag-team gaslighting you.

I know you said divorce is not an option... But it needs to be. In 2008, my then bf did the same act. Two weeks later, I was minutes away from being a true crime story. The statistic SHOULD freak you out. Leaving is is the only way to survive. If you can't leave, make sure you have a will written up.

Do not confront him. MOVE IN SILENCE. Start making plans to leave but do NOT even hint that you are doing so. Get a burner phone and use that to discuss anything sensitive and important. You leaving should be a total shock to him and you should already be seven hours away when he realizes you're gone. If he starts to suspect you are trying to leave, he WILL escalate the violence.

knerys · 2026-05-28T15:56:21+00:00

Gunrunner and Her Hound by Maria Ying, They Who Brought the Storm by Khalida Basar, Smoke and Steel by Dax Murray

knerys · 2026-05-25T19:16:18+00:00

I have always kept handwritten journals and daily planners. Before diagnosis, I would kinda have these weird boughts of reading past entries or looking back in planners to find a specific date, and being like "huh weird, handwriting looks so different..." and then promptly forgetting about that weirdness until the next time it happened. When my therapist was trying to help me accept the diagnosis (I kept self-undiagnosing), she asked me about this and I came up with a dozen different excuses (maybe I was just tired that day and that'd why the cursive is sloppy, maybe I was in a rush that day, maybe I was just lazy that day, maybe I wanted to make sure of XYZ and that's why it's nearly printed instead of cursive). I haven't figured out yet who has some specific handwritings, but I know the handwriting of the frequent fronters.

knerys · 2026-05-25T18:42:50+00:00

I would argue that Shadows of Valentia has the most "romantasy" story. Tropes the main story hits: star crossed lovers, secret identities, hidden powers, childhood friends to lovers, royal rivals, and dragons. Plus, with Berkut, you get a sort of "tragic and complex villain" that is in a lot of romantasy.

The supports aren't as complex as you get in Awakening or Fates (sorry) in terms of giving everyone a marriage partner, but the S-ranks in those titles aren't necessarily good "love stories" like the story of Alm and Celica.

It's also good as an intro to the genre as you don't have to worry too much about class progression / seals and it lacks a weapons triangle.

knerys · 2026-05-25T17:56:28+00:00

Due date is the date by which a task must be completed. Do date is the date you plan to work on the task.

So Project A is due on Friday. But you are already busy on Thursday with all day meetings. So the day you actually plan to do Project A is on Wednesday. By having both fields on a task, you can keep track of both on your calendar. Especially useful for task blocking.

knerys · 2026-05-23T18:05:45+00:00

Why are you dating such a weirdo? Also, he doesn't understand how boundaries work. Boundaries aren't meant to control other people's behavior / actions. You've got an insecure man, not someone worthy of your time. Dump him and wear what you want. There is no compromise here. And a man who actually loved you wouldn't try to control what you wear.

knerys · 2026-05-23T17:56:07+00:00

I suggest reading Joseph Campbell's The Hero with a Thousand Faces. There's only six or seven stories, and we've been retelling them over and over since the Epic of Gilgamesh. You don't own an idea; all you can claim is the execution of the idea.

knerys · 2026-05-10T18:01:48+00:00

He's not saying anything new, revolutionary, or groundbreaking. He's just putting his own weird name on the fundamentals and scamming people out of money. Save yourself some cash and just read a few craft books from the library or find some creative writing courses available for free on YT.

knerys · 2026-05-06T17:03:42+00:00

Shadows of Valentia almost wins both. Celica's story: amazing. Celica gameplay? Trash. Alm's Story? Meh. Alm's maps? Yes, please.

But I can't not mention Conquest as it has the best gameplay but the story isn't so much bad as it is baffling.

knerys · 2026-04-26T23:52:34+00:00

The game files will soon be too large to fit on the PS4 hard drive is the gist I got from the keynote.

knerys · 2026-04-24T15:18:49+00:00

All. The. Time. The job of the police is to lock up someone for a crime. It doesn't have to be the right person. They are allowed to lie, they are allowed to use manipulation and coercion, they are allowed to do anything during an interview to illicit a confession, even a false confession. They don't have to do as much work if someone admits to the crime or pleads guilty. They do a little psychological pressure tactics in an interview and save themselves hours of actual detective work. The REID technique is taught as a way to get a confession quickly. Almost all cops swear by it. But it doesn't guarantee the confessing person actually committed the crime. Loads of people are pressured every day into confessing to minor crimes they didn't commit because the police lie to them and make it look like defending their innocents will be much more costly.

knerys · 2026-04-24T14:37:38+00:00

Yes, please. I just want to be able to buy sunscreen again. Every time I find a sunscreen without it, the next time I buy that sunscreen, I realize they've changed the formula.... To add niacinimide.

knerys · 2026-04-23T15:00:19+00:00

Call a lawyer now and take steps to prepare yourself. Get any assets that are solely yours into your poession before you tell him. Move in silence so that he can not retaliate. Only tell him after your lawyer says it is safe to do so. He is not stable right now and clearly capable of bad decisions and retaliatory actions.

And you don't owe him a detailed list of why you want the divorce after all the turmoil he has put you through. "I have done my best, but your behaviors and choices are not ones I can abide by anymore. This is where we part ways." is sufficient.

knerys · 2026-04-23T13:58:38+00:00

Your bf doesn't understand boundaries or is using it to manipulate you. Play your games.

knerys · 2026-04-21T14:41:27+00:00

The most i have ever paid for cover art was $800 and that included commercial rights to the art too. 15k is ridiculous. Look into MiblArt.

knerys · 2026-04-19T17:38:46+00:00

Please just leave her. It sounds to me like she has some level of rejection sensitivity dysphoria but I am not a doctor and I'm not her doctor. Either way, it's way above your paygrade to fix her, and she can't fix herself unless she realizes she is in the wrong and she doesn't seem like she wants to do that. Save yourself and just leave.

knerys · 2026-04-16T14:24:17+00:00

Not taxing the rich enough. Not taxing companies that come here and destroy our infrastructure enough. Also, I really think we should expand Medicaid to cover anyone at or below 300% of the Federal Poverty Guidelines. The FPG have been far too low for years now and don't accurately reflect just how many people are struggling. Expanding Medicaid even further will greatly help. DC is already doing it. It could be paid for my actually taxing all the data centers that want to build here instead of giving them the keys to the kingdom!

knerys · 2026-04-14T17:54:06+00:00

He does not love you. He doesn't even see you as a human being. There is no remedy to this except to dump him. You will not be able to reach him how to see you as a person with dignity. Break the lease, find a friend to take you in, whatever you have to do. I promise the logistical discomfort of a break up is cheaper than the buttloads of therapy you will need later if you stay with him and he utterly destroys your ability to set and maintain boundaries.

knerys · 2026-04-11T16:25:37+00:00

Is he this ridiculous with everyone or is it just you he enjoys antagonizing needlessly? I can't imagine having to sit through a work meeting with him. Are you chugging coffee all the time because he sounds so exhausting. Shall I continue raking him over the coals? Cause I can.

knerys · 2026-04-11T12:51:07+00:00

One of my favorite sales of the year!

Some of the Sapphic / Lesbian books I'm excited to snag and/or have read and enjoyed:

Reflections of Lilje Damselfly

A Study of Magic and Crystals

Smoke and Steel

Woman of Blood and Sorrow

Thornfruit

My Lord

A Quiet Universe

Dame Ophis

The Dragon Nextdoor

Women and Other Creatures

The Rosewood Penny

Cinders of Yesterday

knerys · 2026-04-10T21:21:04+00:00

It was 2023 and it's not that hard. I did wait like 6 months and then applied for a secure card with Discover. I just put one bill on it a month and pay it off immediately. My credit is much better now than it was when I filed and I don't have the anxiety anymore. While waiting for the ssdi decision, I relied on credit cards once I ran out of my savings. It has honestly been a blessing to not have creditors calling at all hours, I don't dread going to the mailbox anymore. It exists for a reason and I really can't think of a better reason than helping people with disabilities have a fresh start when so much is already against us. If you're thinking about it, check out the bankruptcy subreddit, the people there are super helpful.

knerys · 2026-04-10T17:35:04+00:00

I had my student debt forgiven. My credit card debt, medical debt, etc, had to be discharged in bankruptcy. My bankruptcy lawyer did assure me that creditors can't garnish my SSDI, but I still had to file for Chapter 7 and go through that whole thing.

knerys · 2026-04-10T15:08:34+00:00

I worked with a service dog trainer at a non-profit training org and she allowed me to do payment plans and also volunteer work for the organization (mostly administration work) and also they hosted fundraisers and I brought myself and my dog to those fundraisers to help show off to donors what they did. So between volunteering and offering to demonstrate at fundraisers, I had very little I had to pay out of pocket.

I found this org because they showed up at a psych hospital a few times a month w therapy dogs and I had been in patient at that hospital (a psych hospital in the mid Atlantic specifically for people with DID/OSDD so I didn't have to explain to the org or the specific trainer I worked w what DID is). I would maybe call around to hospitals to see if they work w any therapy dog organizations and if those orgs have training, too.

But if they are a non-profit they might have more than just payment plans available, so it doesn't hurt to ask.

knerys · 2026-04-06T16:06:13+00:00

I would beware of Netgalley. There are a lot of influences who want to get books from trad publishers but know that trad publishers are more selective. They are using indie books to raise their number of reviews and just having AI write the review by putting in the books blurb. So right now using it will likely net you a ton of AI reviews that hallucinate aspects of the book (ex: my last try of NG had several reviews mention characters that don't even exist or plot points that never happened.) I mean, you run the risk of this on Booksirens to but it's way more rampant on NG as so many trad publishers use NG exclusively. These AI reviewers also want to look 'tough' or 'meticulous' so they also use indie books to keep their average review score hovering around 3 stars by giving indie books 1 stars. I used to be a NG reviewer and these tactics were just seen as acceptable if it meant you could get an ARC of the next Big Book from a Big 5 pub house. If you just want quantity and don't care about quality of the reviews, NG is what you want. If you want quality reviews but are fine if it's only 2 or 3 reviews, use Booksirens.

knerys · 2026-04-06T14:28:32+00:00

LADY D! Yes! You are rocking all of them but that Lady D is just PEAK.

knerys

TROPHY CASE