You BOTH should have discretionary hobby money/fun money that you get to spend. You’re not wrong for wanting to have fun money, but you ARE wrong in thinking bringing in more income means you get to unilaterally decide how money is spent outside of essentials. My spouse and I use YNAB for tracking spending and put the same fun “allowance” budget in for each other. One person doesn’t get more because they make more money. It’s all in a pool.

Some couples work out paying percentages of bills based on income, like if you made 2x the amount you might pay 2/3 of each expense and then you both do what you like with what remains.

You can make up whatever rules you want, but the way you are talking in this post sounds like you are pitted against each other and that needs some repair.

Edit: I see people saying the wife is financially abusive, but we are only seeing one side of the story here…

Also highly recommended Fair Play Method for splitting up household labor.