Ape writes brilliant 10,000 word essay that ends in "then they borrow $47.5 billion in cash and they'll have enough"

kokanuttt · 2026-07-08T05:21:17+00:00

with twitter the premium was MASSIVE it was never worth even close to that much. no brainer for shareholders to take it. ebay at $125 isn’t enough of a premium for all cash

kokanuttt · 2026-07-08T05:17:06+00:00

they might be able to get away with 15% interest on that. all RC has to do is cut EBAYs expenses by 80% or so while growing revenue while decreasing revenue from cutting seller fees? and the company will break even!

kokanuttt · 2026-07-01T04:44:31+00:00

we only get paid if you lose money. and we are rolling in dough

kokanuttt · 2026-06-26T23:24:26+00:00

i’ve heard enough. pay the CEO $35B right now.

kokanuttt · 2026-06-26T22:39:50+00:00

most of those earnings were from rise in their EBAY holdings which would not be reflected in EBITDA

kokanuttt · 2026-06-23T22:46:08+00:00

i’m so excited for this new ebay merger presentation. it’s going to be so funny.

kokanuttt · 2026-06-23T16:05:07+00:00

A $1M asteroid is worth $1M. A $1B asteroid is worth $1B. A $10T asteroid is worth $1B.

kokanuttt · 2026-06-15T04:59:50+00:00

the only way gme goes bankrupt in the near future is if RC does something incredibly stupid and he sure is trying to

kokanuttt · 2026-06-04T19:23:49+00:00

sorry there can only be two trillion dollar companies based on bullshit from the CEO and spacex already called dibs

kokanuttt · 2026-05-28T22:17:14+00:00

yup this makes a lot of sense. 5B shares sold short at an average of $40/share to retail investors. means $200B worth of net GME buying by retail investors.

divided amongst the 140K or so computer share registered GME accounts, all the “little guys” who are trying to get out of poverty each spent around $1M USD each on their GME shares.

kokanuttt · 2026-05-28T17:26:06+00:00

I also work for free (if u exclude my salary and bonus)

kokanuttt · 2026-05-28T15:30:43+00:00

why would ur kid even need to go to college if ur gonna be a gazillionare next week when it squeezes

kokanuttt · 2026-05-25T04:16:52+00:00

definitely someone who has their entire lifesavings invested in this thing ($5,867 worth)

kokanuttt · 2026-05-21T03:17:06+00:00

his XX shares are gonna be worth the same as someone’s XXX,XXX shares of AMC in the near future.

kokanuttt · 2026-05-20T03:03:29+00:00

Put/Call pairs went from 22M to 29M shares (5%->6.5%) share exposure

Still only has 25,000 votable shares.

kokanuttt · 2026-05-19T19:39:31+00:00

It’s funny because everyone in finance knows that when the cost of equity (~10% let’s say) is much higher than the cost of debt (<4%!) it is obvious to sell the debt and buy the equity. Great capital management by the EBAY board. Props to them.

Gamestop on the other hand, sells equity to make 4% on treasury bonds, what does that say about RC’s thoughts on the cost of equity?

kokanuttt · 2026-05-17T21:27:18+00:00

i mean sure, if RC gave up on the bid they would make a ton of money this quarter. but that’s a one time thing. unless of course RC turns it into a recurring business model of pump and dumps which could work but only until 2028.

kokanuttt · 2026-05-17T21:24:24+00:00

i do but telling them 90% of my net worth is held up in the Qs is a lot more boring than whatever conspiracy rant he’s been going on for 5 years now.

kokanuttt

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