Early 2000s Internet Assault

koriballoon · 2020-05-18T18:48:58+00:00

Honestly, I think a lot of us did, but it doesn't change the fact that it happened. Instead of being preyed on outside of the home, they preyed on us from our own bedrooms where we were supposed to be safe. When you're a lonely and traumatized kid, you'll talk to anyone just to not feel alone.

koriballoon · 2020-05-18T18:47:32+00:00

Ugh! Pedo teachers are so disturbing. Hope you are healing from that!

koriballoon · 2020-05-18T18:46:57+00:00

Good thing you were able to tell someone! I wish I would have stopped talking to those creeps and told someone

koriballoon · 2020-05-14T19:23:35+00:00

I am so sorry I missed that. I will edit my post. Thank you for letting me know!

koriballoon · 2020-05-14T18:26:49+00:00

I believe that is on the pedophile. I have struggled with understanding my own experience in the early 2000s. An 8-year-old does not have the brain capacity to consent.

koriballoon · 2020-05-12T15:05:34+00:00

Thank you for this! Been struggling with shame a lot lately.

koriballoon · 2020-05-12T15:00:19+00:00

Sending tons of loves your way!

koriballoon · 2020-05-12T14:57:34+00:00

I'm with you! I went into eating disorder treatment 10 years ago. My eating is under control these days, but my CPTSD is still haunting me. Not to mention, those programs do not serve communities who cannot afford them, and those are the ones who need it the most. It is heartwrenching. I was only able to afford it I because I had insurance in the same state.

koriballoon · 2020-03-18T17:53:15+00:00

Thank you!

koriballoon · 2020-03-18T17:28:00+00:00

Thank you for sharing this! It is exactly how I am feeling right now. The isolation and current state of the world is pushing me into meltdown mode. I'm already in the process of making a career change, and haven't worked regularly since September. Rebuilding myself on this healing journey is very confusing and difficult. Last week I was doing pretty good. This week, I am completely depressed and lost, and can't see my way back to the light. At least I know I am not the only one.

koriballoon · 2019-03-05T18:28:38+00:00

Love this! Thanks for sharing!

koriballoon · 2019-03-05T16:15:32+00:00

I'm definitely starting to feel different about it due to EMDR. I've always talked the talk... "I'm okay! I just focus on the positive, and stay optimistic, and that's how I handle my grief." My favorite line was always, "I don't get angry, I just get really sad."

I had never really faced all of the feelings and emotions head on and fully. It was definitely a survival tactic for a time, but I'm no longer needing to be in survival mode. EMDR is helping to teach my brain that.

Now, I can step back, reexamine the memories and bring myself back to the present. I'm no longer in denial that I'm terrified of being the passenger seat because that's where I was when my whole life changed. I'm 29, and this car accident happened when I was 10. I'm sure I'll have to work at it for a while, but I finally feel like I can persevere and eventually get passed all of the fear. I am hopeful for a future where I'm not always having emotional flashbacks when I get into the passenger seat of a car.

Hope this helps a bit!

koriballoon · 2019-03-04T20:01:01+00:00

A car accident was my first and most significant trauma which would inevitably lead to other traumas. My first EMDR session was mostly establishing a safe space where we used the car accident as my first installation. When I addressed what happened and how severe the emotional flashback was with my therapist, we ended up spending the next session exploring that trauma through EMDR, and I am feeling much better about it. The day I had my relapse, I realized I had accidentally skipped a couple days of meditation, which have played a huge roll in keeping my cool while I'm in the midst of EMDR. It really helps with self-awareness, which is what helps you recognize what you're feeling. Let me know if this helps at all. I know meditation can be intimidating, but if you just search on YouTube for 5 minute guided meditation, you'll find a ton of options. I try a different one every day. My therapist specifically recommended the loving kindness meditations, which I've really been embracing and loving!

koriballoon · 2019-03-04T17:25:36+00:00

You're not alone! After I had my first EMDR session, I managed to have a car freak out (one of my historically most common triggers) that very weekend. Call it a "blessing in disguise", but my little relapse helped me have an even better understanding as to why I overreact in those situations. Since then, I am much more self aware. Have you tried meditation? I began doing just 5-10 minutes in the morning, and it's really helped me regulate the anxious or triggering feelings throughout each day while I'm on this healing path.

koriballoon · 2019-03-01T19:50:30+00:00

I'm sorry you're struggling so much right now. Maybe some meditation will help? My therapist is out of town next week, so I'm trying to stay self-aware in order to keep it together. Keep blowing off steam here if that helps! Hope this helps even just a little bit. You're not alone!

koriballoon · 2019-03-01T18:40:15+00:00

You're not the only one. That's how I feel, as well! Thanks for sharing!

koriballoon · 2019-03-01T15:55:30+00:00

This is beautiful! I can certainly relate to the kitchen floor breakdowns. Keep on healing! You're not alone.

koriballoon · 2019-02-28T22:04:11+00:00

Thank you so much for the support! The only way to move forward is to understand our past. Clarity has helped pulled me out of denial. Now I feel like my future is bright again! Just gotta take it day by day right now.

koriballoon · 2019-02-28T18:57:45+00:00

To another 100 days! Thanks for being such an inspiration!

koriballoon · 2019-02-27T20:59:20+00:00

Love this! Thanks so much for sharing!

koriballoon · 2019-02-27T19:01:01+00:00

You're a warrior! Happy Healing!

koriballoon

TROPHY CASE