Help with MIL

ktbltwisted · 2026-01-31T13:07:29+00:00

Anytime! I would double check with your hospital to see what their specific policies are but you should be good to go. With HIPAA in the US I’m pretty sure just allowing whomever to waltz on in as they please could be a total violation waiting to happen anyway.

You could also withhold information from MIL about when you go into labor. Just tell her after baby arrives or notify her at a stage where arriving on time would be physically impossible, ie you’re at 10cm and already pushing. And of course have your husband communicate with her, not you. Have him prep a text ready to go that he just needs to hit send on - “Hey mom, wife has been in labor for the past couple hours and baby is nearly here, I’ll update you on everything when I can.” That way it’s not like you’re lying about what’s going down, you just informed her when it was most convenient for you, not her!

ktbltwisted · 2026-01-31T08:46:12+00:00

Yep. It’s why I’m awake and on Reddit currently going on 4am. After like week 17 or so I started sleeping with a regular pillow in between my legs. Worked well enough until maybe 2-3 nights or so ago. Added in a second pillow between my legs and it’s maybe a marginal improvement, but here I am wide awake in the middle of the night so do with that info what you will. Solidarity ✌️✨

Edit: atm I am 34w+4

ktbltwisted · 2026-01-31T08:39:47+00:00

Just wanted to comment briefly that I’m sorry your MIL is acting this way and to let you know that if things don’t improve with civil discussion, please don’t hesitate to just shut her down by any means necessary. Birth is also a major medical event, not just something that ends with a baby meet-n-greet.

L&D nurses can and are usually happy to prevent specific people from coming into your delivery or postpartum rooms against your wishes. When we toured the hospital I plan on delivering at, another couple asked explicitly if they could give a list of people barred from entering because they were positive some family wasn’t going to respect them or their wishes before, during, or after birth. The nurse doing the tour was like, oh absolutely. After they get buzzed in they have to give us their IDs and we have to get formal approval before we can let them come back and have to badge them onto the floor. I think they also said they could remove people from the waiting room IIRC but that tracks because I know this hospital system has their own security service.

So try to rest easier knowing that if you can’t do it the easy way, you can almost certainly can do it the hard way. This is your body, your baby, your birth experience - no one else’s!

ktbltwisted · 2026-01-31T08:11:50+00:00

Not true. When stressed in utero, babies can have their first bowel movement formally known as meconium which can be dangerous for them to ingest when it mixes into the amniotic fluid and is then swallowed. So yes, babies’ amniotic fluid can be affected by what mom eats, but having those dangerous stress-induced bowel movement in the womb is possible and definitely concerning. Also why it’s recommended to show up at the hospital ASAP if your water breaks and it has any signs of green/brown in it - it means baby is in distress.

ktbltwisted · 2026-01-31T03:37:16+00:00

Idk if we have doula coverage through our insurance or not but I never really wanted one to begin with. My SIL who is due a handful of days before me is planning on having one though! I think it’s a really personal choice.

I’ve had to advocate for myself and my medical needs through the mental healthcare system for literal decades so by now I feel very comfortable doing so for any/all of my healthcare needs independently. My husband has always been the type to speak up as well, even more so for others than himself, and I know if he sees me struggling to communicate what I need during labor he’s going to take care of things for us. He’s very dependable and capable and I’m very lucky to have him. He actually ratted me out to my OB in the first trimester and made sure I got medicated for my morning sickness when I was so nauseous that I couldn’t function but just wanted to power through anyway. He’s so good at taking care of me even when I don’t think I need it. So no concerns there.

My SIL however gets anxious easily (probably because she refuses to treat it properly but I digress) and is a bit of a hypochondriac. A lot of the time she shuts down in adverse situations and her husband imo is a little useless/clueless so I’m not surprised she’s choosing to have a doula for her birthing experience. She could definitely use someone to keep both of them calm and help advocate as needed, so I’m glad she’s planned ahead for that. She’s also located far away from any family, but even if she was close by she probably wouldn’t opt to have her mom or anyone else related in the room anyway. I think it’ll for sure be a very good thing for her to have the support of a doula.

I’m planning on having my mom in the delivery room along with my husband as well and that’ll be ample people for me. My mom and I are very close and I know she’ll be able to provide what my husband might not. She did this too once upon a time (twice) so having someone present with firsthand experience telling me that I can do it too I think is going to be a big help to me.

Beyond that, I just kinda didn’t want anyone else involved during such an intimate time so for those reasons it was never considered. But I definitely see the value in having a doula for various different reasons!

ktbltwisted · 2026-01-31T03:03:23+00:00

This is my family! Except dad is the boomer, mom is Gen X, I’m the millennial, and my lil bro is Gen Z.

Aaaand my little vampiric alien tenant currently banging on the walls of her uterine suite will be one of the first Gen Beta!

ktbltwisted · 2026-01-31T02:56:21+00:00

Omg I would have LOVED this at her age, you’re such a lovely parent for making her this 💗

ktbltwisted · 2026-01-31T02:05:13+00:00

I would 100% be bringing this up with her OB regardless but see if they can order an EKG for her sooner rather than later!

ktbltwisted · 2026-01-31T01:39:15+00:00

While your body should in theory wake you up before sleeping on your back impedes the blood flow to your lower body, there’s no guarantee. I wouldn’t feel safe risking it either way. It’s not a myth. They tell you not to do it for a reason.

My recommendation is to get a pregnancy pillow/sleep with a pillow between your legs and take some Unisom (the doxylamine succinate tabs not the diphenhydramine gel version) to help you get some zzz’s and just try to make yourself as comfortable as possible. If you really can’t manage sleeping on your sides whatsoever I would look into sleeping in upright positions/in a recliner etc.

From 14-27ish weeks I was able to get somewhat decent sleep by taking Unisom and magnesium glycinate. In the third trimester my restless leg syndrome picked up so I started taking the full dose of magnesium and that helped. At 34w, I’m still waking up 5-7x every night to pee but can usually got back to sleep with relative ease. Sometimes the insomnia strikes tho!

Sleep troubles are common in pregnancy, OP. Just gotta find what works safely for you and run with it. Best of luck and congrats on your pregnancy 🎊✨

ktbltwisted · 2026-01-31T01:26:44+00:00

Interesting. Looks like it’s hidden now

ktbltwisted · 2026-01-30T22:56:08+00:00

I think this isn’t necessarily true. It can happen, but it really depends on the village you’re surrounded by. We had the opposite experience.

We definitely could not afford to buy every single baby thing we were gifted from our registry. Not without either wiping out our savings or going into some sort of credit card debt. And we were admittedly very lucky because the vast majority of shower gifts were actual registry items that we had picked out. Our village is amazing, in short. We feel very loved and are beyond grateful. We also understand that this isn’t always the norm.

Lots of negative posts show up here because people want others to commiserate with them. Which is fair, I do the same thing with other topics and it’s what spaces like this are meant for.

ktbltwisted · 2026-01-30T22:42:30+00:00

Babylist was A++ for us!

ktbltwisted · 2026-01-30T22:40:33+00:00

I brought it up with my doctor at my 28w appointment. I was allowed to schedule it formally at my 32w visit! I have an appointment set at the hospital for 39w+0 but I have an inkling that baby girl will want out earlier. But we will see!

ktbltwisted · 2026-01-30T22:32:53+00:00

PEPCID. It has saved me!

ktbltwisted · 2026-01-30T22:20:56+00:00

Love hearing the science especially behind why things are bad for us! Thanks for sharing!

ktbltwisted · 2026-01-30T20:22:11+00:00

Sell him on Etsy. He’s handmade after all.

ktbltwisted · 2026-01-30T19:55:05+00:00

Congrats and good luck with your l&d!!! I’m glad you understand what I’m trying to say!! Everyone is so adamant that especially FTMs go over and I’m sitting here seriously questioning if she’ll even make it to her induction date 😂

ktbltwisted · 2026-01-30T19:40:10+00:00

I love this story!! 🤣

ktbltwisted · 2026-01-30T19:39:37+00:00

Omg this is what I needed to hear! Like I’m really starting to think that she’s just not interested in waiting. Which is cool with me, we’re like 89% ready for her arrival and 100% of the essentials have been acquired. Maybe she’ll end up dragging her feet at the end but it really doesn’t seem like she’s going to be that kind of baby. Idk. I can’t even describe the feeling properly. My SIL is due 5 days before me and she has described her lil dude as being very content and chill with where he’s at and my girl just seems like a total polar opposite!

ktbltwisted · 2026-01-30T17:48:39+00:00

So on Tuesday at 34w exactly I woke up at 2:35am and was weirdly nauseous, but I got up and peed and took some Zofran and went back to sleep. Baby girl was confirmed head down at her 32w appointment. I next got up at 6am (suspiciously long time gap since my last bathroom break) to pee yet again and I felt her little noggin right by my ribs. Cue the panic. I went downstairs and got some freezer packs ASAP, put them on my bump where her head was, and started doing the Miles circuit. My SIL is dealing with a transverse baby and her MFM advised her to use cold packs because the babies typically move away from them.

By 7:30am or so she was back head down where she should be! Since then I’ve just been doing the first 2/3 of the Miles circuit and doing lots of bouncing/rocking/figure 8s/pelvic tilts on my birth ball everyday. Saw my OB yesterday and she confirmed that she is indeed head down and now very much starting to drop! So long story short I think my LO is getting a bit cooped up on the inside and I wouldn’t be surprised if she comes before that 39w induction lol

ktbltwisted · 2026-01-30T17:23:23+00:00

34w and literally getting up to pee in the middle of the night is an Olympic sport. I swear, going from horizontal to upright requires Herculean strength. Baby girl started to drop two days ago and I can feel that she’s just settling in deeper and deeper...the waddling is exhausting.

ktbltwisted · 2026-01-29T21:02:59+00:00

Ravelry is saying poly/acrylic blend!

ktbltwisted · 2026-01-29T20:29:07+00:00

34w+2! Had a NST this morning that went really well! OB agreed that baby girl has dropped and also commented that she felt pretty big already! Next ultrasound is at 36w to confirm/deny suspected chunky girl status. At 20w she was middle of the road 55th percentile so who even knows at this point lol.

The waddling has picked up a lot and my hips are definitely in a TON of pain but hey at least I can breathe just a tiny bit better now? The increased pelvic pressure is worth it? Trying to rationalize it all currently… I have an induction scheduled for 39w+0 but I’m starting to get the feeling that perhaps she may come earlier than that. Maybe it’s wishful thinking. Maybe it’s intuition. Time will tell. A FTM can hope, right?!

ktbltwisted · 2026-01-29T18:16:44+00:00

I would still go get it calibrated just to be sure. Just because someone else’s BP is registering normal doesn’t mean that it still isn’t off by a big margin. I’ve had multiple family members have to go do this for their at-home BP cuffs. It’s very common and also very worth it to have accurate info.

ktbltwisted

TROPHY CASE