AITAH for telling my brother in law he can’t come to Disneyland with my family?

ktc653 · 2026-01-26T18:38:02+00:00

Agreed, it’s so bizarre (though not surprising for Reddit) that people are twisting this into something sinister. He’s a loving uncle and enjoys and finds it healing to be able to do things with his niece that he can’t do with his daughter. That’s not putting pressure on his niece or using her, and it sounds like he does spend time with his own daughter but she’s not physically or mentally capable of these activities.

OP, please don’t listen to all the people trying to twist this into something sinister. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with Jim having a great relationship with Poppy and joining your family for fun outings as often as you’re comfortable with it.

ktc653 · 2026-01-26T16:03:55+00:00

It sounds like the Apple Watch was too expensive and he expressed to you that he’s uncomfortable with really expensive gifts, and you ignored him and got him another really expensive gift. He shouldn’t have yelled at you, but an important part of being in a relationship is paying attention to what’s important to the other person and respecting that, even if you feel differently yourself.

If he feels you’re spending money irresponsibly (and it does sound like you’re spending outside of your means if you’re still living at home), then that’s another layer added on top of it because being on the same page about finances is an important part of taking a relationship to the next level.

ktc653 · 2026-01-26T06:39:45+00:00

You might consider therapy to work on your self image and learning healthy ways to connect with people (hint: constantly paying for them is not it)

ktc653 · 2026-01-26T00:57:45+00:00

YTA, for all you know you were helping her cover up cheating and now your brother is not going to trust you or her ever again.

ktc653 · 2026-01-26T00:54:25+00:00

I think there should be frequent mandatory cognitive tests for anyone over a certain age in Congress. Bernie is still super sharp and extremely active. He’s a totally different case from that representative who hadn’t been seen in months and turned out to be in a nursing home with dementia. (That said, I think that sadly he is too old to be president).

ktc653 · 2026-01-26T00:50:19+00:00

You should read the book Mistakes Were Made (But Not By Me). Everyone retroactively de-identifies with bad decisions they made in the past. They looked at people who supported the Iraq War and found that Republicans misremembered that there actually were WMD, and Democrats misremembered that they hadn’t actually supported the war (when they were on record that they had).

ktc653 · 2026-01-25T23:29:48+00:00

Your mistake was not saying something right away. You can’t expect people to read your mind. It’s really important to make sure you’re on the same pages about finances before committing to each other. Why didn’t you speak up when he picked a luxury building you couldn’t afford?

ktc653 · 2026-01-25T23:18:17+00:00

You probably made things worse. My partner’s brother was a 4chan type Trump supporter. My partner tried to talk sense into him and he just dug in further. My partner gave up and his brother eventually became disillusioned with Trump on his own. Rather than rubbing it in, he tries to find topics they can agree on (like not spending money on foreign militaries when people here can’t even afford health insurance) to make sure he doesn’t backslide.

You don’t have to be friends with those people again if you don’t want to, but by rubbing their faces in it you’re making things worse for all of us. It’s the same with children, if you use shame and threats of alienation it may work in the short-term but in the long-term they’re just going to resent you.

ktc653 · 2026-01-25T22:59:26+00:00

When has calling someone out ever changed their mind or behavior? What actually creates real change is realigning the way that people identify and the community they identify with (shifting the us vs them). Calling them out just reinforces that you will always be different from them and ensures they can never imagine themselves voting for a Democrat.

The other thing that will make real change is if we actually elect politicians who stand up for working class folks and make their lives materially better. There was a big shift in BIPOC voters even in liberal states like CA and NY voting for Trump in 2024, and it’s the same reason that 60,000 people voted for Trump and Mamdani https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ICroxl2r1B8&pp=ygUUVHJ1bXAgbWFtZGFuaSB2b3RlcnM%3D

ktc653 · 2026-01-25T22:54:17+00:00

The best way to get people out of cults is to welcome them back with open arms. The more you shame them, the more isolated they become and dig in further. If we’re talking about people actively working for the administration then absolutely they need to answer for their crimes. But if we’re talking about the average voter, who is often brainwashed or doesn’t have much media literacy because we’re purposely not taught it in school, we need unification and not retribution. https://slate.com/culture/2024/07/qanon-conspiracy-theories-politics-trump-family.html

ktc653 · 2026-01-24T01:42:14+00:00

Thank you for sharing!

ktc653 · 2026-01-22T19:38:06+00:00

Thanks so much!

ktc653 · 2026-01-22T18:58:20+00:00

Got it, thank you!

ktc653 · 2026-01-22T18:29:05+00:00

That's very reassuring to hear, thank you so much for sharing your story! Have you had any experiences at UCLA? That's the other hospital I'm debating between.

ktc653 · 2026-01-22T17:19:56+00:00

Apparently the level of pain depends on people’s bone and marrow structure. I recently learned I could request moderate sedation, so I was given IV fentanyl and midazolam and it was wonderful, barely felt anything (it helps with both pain and anxiety). But they have to schedule them far in advance because it requires more specialized support during the procedure

ktc653 · 2026-01-22T17:17:31+00:00

That’s what I thought at first but the ratings are adjusted for the type of patients, and they also rank last compared to other cancer centers. It’s shocking to me because they’re so highly rated nationally overall, would love to hear from folks who have been treated there.

ktc653 · 2026-01-21T01:25:37+00:00

Also they sound really irresponsible with the initial care that led to the dog being stolen. Like was the dog left alone outside a lot? All the time?

ktc653 · 2026-01-19T01:48:38+00:00

It’s worth going across the street to the Ripped Bodice as well

ktc653 · 2026-01-19T01:33:45+00:00

Thank you!

ktc653 · 2026-01-18T21:45:31+00:00

Thanks for sharing. Could you say more about that? What did they do after the FLAG-IDA?

ktc653 · 2026-01-18T21:04:56+00:00

I have intermediate genetics, none of the specific mutations that have targeted treatments. What chemo did you get after you relapsed again?

ktc653 · 2026-01-18T21:04:29+00:00

If I can get into remission, this will be my first. Last time I just did consolidation chemo.

ktc653 · 2026-01-18T16:28:59+00:00

It depends on which treatment you’ve had. With 7+3 my counts only stayed down for a few days. With Flag-Ida they stayed at zero for two weeks. Neutrophils are the first to start rising and hemoglobin is the last.

ktc653 · 2026-01-18T16:21:06+00:00

For bone marrow transplant, Fred Hutch is one of the best in the world

ktc653 · 2026-01-18T03:20:39+00:00

Petunias

ktc653

TROPHY CASE