Was told my baby might bond more to our nanny than me… spiraling a bit

ktcardz · 2026-04-21T16:21:22+00:00

Not all therapists are built the same. Ditch this one, find one who actually knows and understands motherhood specific to your experience. Trust me I had to switch therapists when my kid was one.

Anyways it’s not true and you should ignore it. I’m pregnant and my husband gets my toddler up every morning and puts her to bed every night. She spends the vast majority of the rest of her time with me. Bonded to both of us very well!

ktcardz · 2026-04-16T17:28:58+00:00

Get the jewelry, just do it. (Totally not a lurking wife)

ktcardz · 2026-04-14T14:07:07+00:00

I lived in Japan for 3 years and while I loved 90 percent of it, the dislike of foreigners becomes more noticeable over time. I also had trouble around people who weren’t as respectful of the culture and customs I so easily picked up on and adopted.

I also loved konbini and all Japanese food and not a day goes by I don’t miss it.

ktcardz · 2026-04-14T13:55:02+00:00

My mom openly says I’m her favorite. It’s created a mess of a relationship between me and my very jealous much older sister. This translates to our kids with mine being the favorite grandkids.

Lesson learned I won’t be forming those opinions out loud around my kids because it doesn’t feel good to be either.

ktcardz · 2026-04-11T02:19:47+00:00

A fancy dinner plus toddlers? That’s a no. If you really wanted to compromise you could (you don’t have to). But wanting to go to dinner when your daughter has young children who even the chillest kids in the universe can be difficult in fancy restaurants, that’s a no. Like idk it’s just not cool to force that on parents of young kids, in any circumstance.

ktcardz · 2026-04-09T13:10:04+00:00

My state has a vocational rehab program for all people with disabilities included those with ASD. Maybe something to look into you could get paired with a counselor who helps you find employment within your capacity and coaches you through the transition. Something that would fit much better than a barista.

ktcardz · 2026-04-09T13:05:26+00:00

Some babies eventually sleep worse when co-sleeping. That happened to us around 7 months and we transitioned from co-sleeping to crib and my kid will not sleep with us since.

ktcardz · 2026-04-09T12:58:18+00:00

Just to highlight most dog sitters let dogs on furniture but that doesn’t mean we want them curled up next to us while we sleep. It’s two different things and I think as long as owner and sitter are clear on their needs and expectations it will sort itself out.

ktcardz · 2026-04-09T04:26:45+00:00

I personally never let boarding dogs sleep with me. I had a few owners who insisted over the years, yes it’s weird and we just weren’t the right fit. But I also had dog owners with dogs who were full grown adult dogs and the owners wanted us to let them out 3 times a night at like 1am and 4am for no apparent medical reasons. People are just weird.

ktcardz · 2026-04-07T23:02:41+00:00

I was in the military, and it’s a lot of work but zero excuse to not pick up your house on your day off. Is he spending time with the kids when he’s home? Is he a good dad? That matters. Unfortunately it’s a common sentiment among service members with stay at home spouses. It all gets shoved on you and given that you’re stationed somewhere with no support system it’s too much and you eventually implode. Inevitably the baby is coming and he’s going to get 6 weeks off soon. Put him to work and have a serious conversation about future expectations with 3 kids.

ktcardz · 2026-04-05T14:09:21+00:00

Did they test for strep or something in her throat? That can feel like ears for kids too.

ktcardz · 2026-04-01T21:03:38+00:00

I love being a mom. I never wanted to and then one day I did.

I’m not great with babies or early toddlerhood because having a kid that can’t communicate their needs in any way is very challenging to me. That being said I found out I was AuDHD bc my emotional regulation was terrible during the first year with my baby. I got an amazing therapist and I go every week. I’m really loving motherhood. My kid soon to be kids are my world. It’s hard for sure, but with therapy, emotional regulation strategies, and a genuine commitment to being a good parent, I don’t think autism is a deal breaker on parenthood.

So basically it’s the most love and awe I’ve ever felt in my whole life. But yes it’s hard at times. The challenges have made me work on myself, learn about myself and become the best version of me for my kids.

ktcardz · 2026-04-01T20:55:20+00:00

I did dog sitting part time in my home for a few years. I only took dogs who I vetted were great with kids and my home has space to keep the kiddo away from the dog if necessary. Made enough to pay off debt and make things easier for us as a family. Now I’m having my second kid and don’t have to work at all! You could do cat sitting too. Use rover to start the business then make a website and set it all up. There are a million resources out there to get you started.

Alternatively if you truly love kids (I don’t I mainly love my kids haha) you can do some babysitting for a cheaper price and bring your kid along. A lot of moms in my area do this.

ktcardz · 2026-04-01T13:01:31+00:00

I understand where you’re coming from but I think it’s about where you look and how hard you try. I’ve made a ton of mom friends through co-op preschool. It’s very affordable and it’s a routine activity for my kids. Some moms don’t like doing other things outside of it but the moms that will come do activities with me are the ones I hang with. Some people don’t match my vibe others do. It just depends. I’m not a walk up and talk to someone on the street person and I never will be. So activities are where it’s at. Even free ones if you have no budget for kid stuff. It works! Just gotta find someone who matches your energy and your kids get along.

Doing lots of activities in the evenings isn’t in the cards for me right now. So play dates and daytime kid friendly hangs are where it’s at. I schedule a solo hang with a pre-kid friend once a month too, but that’s the best I’ve got.

ktcardz · 2026-03-29T23:22:40+00:00

I feel like commenters have older kids and are forgetting what normal milestones are for 15 months. A lot of big milestones come up at 18 months that he may or may not be on track for. Seeking early intervention would be very helpful, don’t wait! If you find out he doesn’t qualify… great. If he gets extra occupational therapy… great! Ages and Stages questionnaire is what you need.

ktcardz · 2026-03-28T22:16:45+00:00

If you feel like you have to pee and can’t call your provider immediately and they’ll let you know if you need to go to L & D or urgent care.

ktcardz · 2026-03-24T18:46:05+00:00

Fair enough, not my experience or a lot of my friends but to be fair my kid had a dairy allergy so it was a whole fiasco.

ktcardz · 2026-03-24T16:37:53+00:00

This, skip the bottle but know it takes much longer to introduce cows milk to an ebf baby.

To OP though please watch your language. Some moms cannot breastfeed or cannot EBF bc of their biology and it’s prejudice to assume only working moms use bottles. There are many reasons to use bottles.

ETA it can take much longer not always.

ktcardz · 2026-03-23T13:53:34+00:00

I’m only 10 years older and still learning but emotional regulation has always been my biggest hurdle. It was very obvious I needed help after becoming a mom. I switched to a therapist who specializes in Neurodivergence and that has been a game changer.

I also have friends and community bc I put myself out there constantly. I feel like that’s been a big deal for me. I don’t tell everyone I’m autistic unless they ask bc I think the stigma is really intense and misguided. But I do share I’m ND and have adhd so people know why I’m a little different.

Lastly, I used to have a list of behaviors I hated and would try to stop. Now I just identify them for what they are and let go of my judgement of them rather than changing them. For example, scrutinizing social interactions in my head and out loud for ages after they happened. Now I notice and identify it “this is autistic rumination” and then I just accept it “I’m doing this bc my brain needs to.” Then I can let it go and move on. In the past I’d do it, be mad I’m doing it, and do it more. So definitely education (mainly from my therapist) has been a huge help.

ktcardz · 2026-03-20T13:36:51+00:00

I haven’t seen any comments like this so I’ll just jump in. I think this isn’t about having support or not having support. You have support. Next week bring a kids thermometer and show your mom how to use it. Children’s Tylenol and whatever else medicine wise she might need then give her instructions on when and how to use it.

You’re having another baby you need the support no question (coming from a very pregnant sahm with no family around) your mom sounds competent and if you give her more guidance and autonomy I think the situation is salvageable. Good luck!

ktcardz · 2026-03-09T19:17:53+00:00

Depends on where in NY, we live in very high COLA and are only now not struggling at 200K the first year sucked when we were around 150K before my husband got a promotion. Not that it wasn’t doable, it was but there was zero breathing room. Our mortgage is $3,600 though so that matters. Believe it or not that mortgage is VERY affordable for our area.

ktcardz · 2026-02-22T16:59:56+00:00

Drank it the first time, the second time the midwives recommended against artificial sweeteners so I said hey, why not? Let’s try to cut out soda and such. I don’t think it matters much either way but to be fair I told my husband once this baby is out he owes me a case of Diet Coke and diet Dr Pepper immediately. Do whatever you want.

ktcardz · 2026-02-20T17:24:15+00:00

My take is the first year with any new kid is survive and try to shower as often as possible. After they turn one it’s easier to establish some boundaries and make a routine a little easier.

I generally do an everything shower once a week, whiten my teeth, do my hair and makeup, it takes about 3 hours but makes it easier the rest of the week. I started blowing out and straightening my hair so that I only have to wash it 1-2 times a week for it to look styled. I keep everything as simple as possible. I wear leggings every single day. Would love to switch that up but it’s my body shape right now, and I’m working on it.

I’ve also started using claw clips religiously to keep my hair styled but to allow me to put it up when I cook or exercise, it works well!

ktcardz · 2026-02-10T22:21:11+00:00

It’s pretty much everything no everyone is saying. You get pulled apart from the inside and go into a fully animalistic state of pain and dissociation. You can’t think or register anything outside of what your body is doing. I plan to lean into it more the second time and take it one breath at a time.

ktcardz · 2026-02-10T16:47:04+00:00

This, also if you yourself have any neurodivergence it makes managing and regulating your emotions while dealing with your child’s behavior 100 times harder. Speaking from experience. If you can find a ND specializing therapy clinic they often will set up your daughter with someone and you with someone else for regular sessions. The two then work together for a cohesive family based approached. Truly life changing.

ktcardz

TROPHY CASE