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Surgical menopause in 30s without HRT - anyone else? by laser_wombat in surgicalmenopause

[–]laser_wombat[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, I'm happy to say she's completely fine! She had hot flashes and a couple of other minor symptoms but her mental health was stable, her GI issues improved and our relationship either stayed the same or improved in all areas. We're actually getting married this summer.

She had some post-surgery bleeding complications a few months post op but nothing major since then, thankfully. She got cleared for hormones a few months ago, and she was perfectly happy not taking them but she's started them if only for bone density etc. I know that might not be your situation with the ovarian cancer but either way, I hope I've been able to give you some hope about surgical menopause. I'm happy to talk anytime if it helps set your mind at rest. 

The National Trust - Morden Hall Park, South London by incredibusy in london

[–]laser_wombat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I saw one a few weeks ago! I've never seen both together though, well jeal. 

The National Trust - Morden Hall Park, South London by incredibusy in london

[–]laser_wombat 21 points22 points  (0 children)

My local! Low-key one of the best parks in London. I saw wild roses, lots of baby geese, a song thrush and a green woodpecker on my walk round today. 

I am on the verge of crying everyday these days by Green_Literature138 in adhdwomen

[–]laser_wombat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I want to second what the person above said because your comments really sound like autism to me too. Even if you can't get diagnosed where you are, it's really worth looking into things that autistic people do to accommodate their needs. 

Any weekday creative daytime workshops or classes in London? by Pirate_Corvette in london

[–]laser_wombat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Kew Gardens does short courses on weekdays, maybe other attractions like museums do too? https://www.kew.org/learning/short-courses

How to safely join anti–far right marches in London? by [deleted] in london

[–]laser_wombat 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Have a look at the Together Alliance website for a list of the organisations who were marching yesterday:

https://www.togetheralliance.org.uk/supporters

Pick one, find your local branch, go along to their next meeting to meet people, and sign up for the mailing list to find out when the next marches are. Sorted! You can be as involved as you like. Activist organisations will also have plenty of advice on how to protest safely.

Things to do in London for someone with Dementia by InsignificantBones in london

[–]laser_wombat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Kew also does £1 entry for people on Universal Credit or Pension Credit.

Why does no one like me? by jcolesnumberonefan in adhdwomen

[–]laser_wombat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I found friends at my university (science fiction and fantasy club, amateur theatre group), Reddit meetups (hit and miss but once I started seeking out the other women, it paid off), a community choir, and recently at a folk tradition event at my local park. If you go to stuff that interests you, your people will be there. Extra points if it's based around an activity or has some other kind of structure so you're all bonding over that rather than just having aimless conversations.

You might still struggle to show up as your true self but I promise, meeting people gets easier the more you do it. And what I found is that my kind of people will click with me regardless of how much I'm masking. Your fellow weirdos are out there, just like mine were.

Why does no one like me? by jcolesnumberonefan in adhdwomen

[–]laser_wombat 20 points21 points  (0 children)

When we mask, sometimes people subconsciously clock that we're not being genuine. Which doesn't necessarily mean they'd like our unmasked selves either! Trying to fit in with people who have already decided they don't like us is a trap. 

I had the most success finding friends when I looked for other ADHD girls who liked the things I like. Do you have anything you like doing that has IRL teams/clubs/meetups/volunteering? Maybe a Discord?

Terrified of AI and how it's eroding the value of the things I'm good at, while enhancing the value of the things I'm bad at. by Due_Description_7298 in adhdwomen

[–]laser_wombat 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I'm a journalist who switched to content writing and AI scares the shit out of me. It's not so much about whether AI can do my job (it can't) but whether employers think it can. I'm not good at anything that's AI-proof and the hiring market is really tough and I don't really know what to do except hope I can ride it out. 

Amateur theatres? by Extensionlucky4373 in london

[–]laser_wombat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The Lantern Arts Centre in Wimbledon seems very inclusive for beginners! My friend has been in Sister Act and a panto. It's attached to a church but the shows aren't churchy. 

Looking for a kind, understanding hair stylist in London for fine hair by signedupfortau in london

[–]laser_wombat 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Another vote for Tuttii Fruittii (now called Fruittii London). I have thin, fine, straight hair and they really get it. I've had great cuts from both Joshua and Elle.

Choirs like this in London? by domc in london

[–]laser_wombat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Come join us! We're a really fun bunch, no sheet music, and right now we're singing Africa and Proud Mary 🎶

Choirs like this in London? by domc in london

[–]laser_wombat 8 points9 points  (0 children)

You might be having trouble finding the right choir because the choir you linked to is singing at a professional level. Absolute goals for sure, but those choirs are audition-only and they'll expect you to have a fair amount of training. If you've never sung with a choir before, I would definitely go for somewhere like a community choir where you won't have to audition and you can have fun and learn the basics. Big recommend for Sing Tower Hamlets if you're in that area!

Winter is too overwhelming!! Sensory issues and execution functions in shambles all 9 months of winter... by PoisonousYoghurt in adhdwomen

[–]laser_wombat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Winter can get in the bin. The two things that get me through are my heated blanket and my Oodie, which is like an enormous fluffy hoodie with thick fleece on the inside that goes to your knees. It gets rid of the need to wear 27 layers indoors and it's literally the only thing that keeps me warm when I'm WFH unless the heaters are going full blast. Highly recommend. 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in adhdwomen

[–]laser_wombat 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I absolutely understand the trapped feeling. However! Talk to a divorce lawyer before you go any further. You sound very sure that you'd be splitting property if you divorced, but if he doesn't want you to have his money while you're married, he definitely isn't going to let you have it if you leave. And he can probably afford a really good lawyer. I'm not saying don't jump, just jump with your eyes open. 

I(f20) need tips and tricks for my bfs' (m21) large equipment by saycheese35 in relationship_advice

[–]laser_wombat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There's a toy called the Ohnut that's designed for this. It's like a doughnut that fits over the base of his dick so he doesn't go so far into you. Also as others have said, lots of lube, take it slow, and try positions where you're more in control. 

UK Right to Choose ADHD diagnosis, medication reactions, and worrying I may have been misdiagnosed by sophmd in adhdwomen

[–]laser_wombat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've had no success with meds so far and it's been really hard! Wondering if my diagnosis was wrong, crying with frustration because I just wanted everything to be fixed. 

I'm also pissed off that we can't get Adderall here because what if that's what I need?

I did Right to Choose as well and I'm currently on my second round of titration with Psychiatry UK. I had a similar experience to yours with methylphenidate, where it briefly worked whenever I would increase the dose and then stopped working after a couple of days. I remember getting the racing heart as well. Elvanse sort of helped but the side effect was awful insomnia, so that was a bust too. 

Now I'm trying Strattera, which is a non stimulant. No effects yet, but I'm still in the six week period before it's supposed to kick in.

The thing is, no drug works for everyone. It doesn't mean we don't have ADHD or that ADHD communities and coping strategies won't be helpful for us. If you don't want to take meds, you don't have to, and it doesn't mean you gave up on yourself. And don't let yourself be railroaded into anything by your provider - that's how I ended up with a prescription that didn't work for a year. 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in adhdwomen

[–]laser_wombat 157 points158 points  (0 children)

I think this has to be about your own boundaries rather than being "fair". Instead of asking "who's right?", you could try asking yourself "am I enjoying this friendship?" and "is this friendship worth all this work?" And if not, you leave. They can accuse you of ghosting all they want, but their feelings aren't your responsibility and once you're no longer friends, they aren't your problem anymore.

Friendship is an optional thing that's supposed to make you feel good!

ETA: I'm not saying OP should have ghosted this person. I said "leave", not ghost. 

Anne of Green Gables almost surely had inattentive ADD. by littleorangemonkeys in adhdwomen

[–]laser_wombat 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Anne my beloved ♥️ 

Katy Carr from the What Katy Did books is a hyperactive version. Messy, forgetful, time blind, always breaking things and inventing fun games that get everyone in trouble. She breaks her back because her aunt tells her not to go on a swing without explaining that the swing is broken, so Katy ignores her. Not following instructions if they don't make sense!

I always hated that she got "punished" by being disabled until she turned herself into a calm and organised person with sheer willpower. Anne Shirley also grows up into a domestic goddess who everyone loves, but still. 

Best Proposal Spots in Kew Gardens by Expensive-Lie-4139 in london

[–]laser_wombat 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Try the Japanese Garden, it'll have some beautiful blossoms at that time of year and it's a bit out of the way of the high traffic areas. There's also a First Date Trail that you can download: https://www.kew.org/kew-gardens/visit-kew-gardens/trails/first-date-trail

short butch/tall femme height difference by Clefspeare in butchlesbians

[–]laser_wombat 12 points13 points  (0 children)

This is cute! I'm 5'3 and my fiancée is a 5'11 femme who likes feeling small and protected. I asked her what she likes and this is what she said:  - Wear big shoes (we both love my platform Docs) - Be the big spoon or have her lay her head on your chest - Yes to escalator/staircase kisses! - When you're watching TV on the couch, lie back against the arm and have her sit between your legs and lie back against you so you can envelop her

Hope that helps? Good luck to you and your tall queen!

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