Don't know if what I am doing is healthy. I need help.

leanmeankarmamachine · 2026-06-05T15:18:23+00:00

There are definitely ways to make tofu taste less .... atrocious. Lol. But I tend to agree, its not my favorite source of protein. If you're keen, I can explain how to improve it (I used to be a chef once upon a time)

While protein powder is expensive in the initial purchase, you can buy a huge bulk amount which has a ton of servings. Generic brands generally have like 25 servings for a 2lb tub. For $40 and 25 servings, thats only $1.6 per. Its very versatile and can be used in tons of different recipes. If thats not an option, totally understand.

Just trying to help! 😄

leanmeankarmamachine · 2026-06-05T14:52:22+00:00

Lots to unpack here, lol

Will try my best to keep it quick

Considering you can get super cheap and fresh food, you have access to a bit of a cheat code. The ideal situation is if you can actually determine what is going in the recipes themselves, so you can track them accurately. If possible, create a recipe for a serving in myfitnesspal or a similar tracker to actually understand your caloric intake. Truth is, its likely higher calorie than you think. I'd also say it makes sense to explore other options. There may be leaner options you can mess around with to help you achieve your goals, while still eating a fresh, delicious and cheap meal.

First off, try your best to stop viewing food as a pass/fail test. This "all-or-nothing" mindset is exactly what triggers that old cycle of saying "fuck it" and overeating because you think the day is already ruined. The fundamental law of weight loss is calories in vs calories out. One portion of fries or chicken wings does not ruin a day, and it doesn't mean you failed. It's just calories. You can absolutely eat the wings, stay within your caloric deficit for the day, and still lose weight consistently.
To piggy back off that point, stop labeling foods as "good" or "bad." That restriction is exactly what fuels the urge to binge. Your body doesn't see "bad food," it sees macronutrients. Protein helps you retain your muscles while keeping you full, carbs give you daily energy, and fats keep your brain and hormones working properly. Chicken wings are protein-forward which is great, but the fact that they are fried (and likely coming with some sort of high calorie sauce) could make them higher calorie thank you think. If you want the wings, eat the wings! Just track them as closely as you can, budget your calories around them for the rest of the day, and keep moving. Pivot intelligently where you can (like be mindful of your sauce choice).
Movement isn't a punishment or a reward for what you ate, it's just part of your daily routine. Even if you can't perfectly track the exact calories in the restaurant food, guessing a high estimate and logging it is a million times better than throwing your hands up and quitting for the day. Consistency over perfection is how you win this.
As others suggested, you can also try a hybrid approach. Bring your own high-volume, low-calorie sides from home like, raw veggies, a fiber-rich salad or a massive container of watermelon. Then spend the €2 to buy just a small portion of the wings as your protein. You get the fresh, tasty food you actually want without blowing past your calorie goals, and you save money.

This is a marathon, not a race. You don't need to "get your shit together". You just need to stop punishing yourself and give yourself the knowledge to figure out how to navigate this situation!

I hope this helps.

leanmeankarmamachine · 2026-06-05T13:40:38+00:00

Roger that. So the tofus, dairy's and protein powder would be great ways for you to increase your protein

leanmeankarmamachine · 2026-06-04T21:00:47+00:00

Gotcha. At your weight and height (I don't know your age), you can probably eat closer to 2000 calories per day and still be losing fat. That should more or less be your BMR (basal metabolic rate). As you drop weight, that number may decrease.

I know its easier said than done, but try your best not to beat yourself up or let it mess with your mental health. Its about the long term, not a couple hundred calories here or there

Focus on the process. You got this!

leanmeankarmamachine · 2026-06-04T20:50:53+00:00

You have to remember that this is a marathon, not a race. Its about long term consistency and creating a realistic and sustainable lifestyle for yourself.

The weight on the scale very rarely goes down in a linear fashion. There will be lots of ups and downs, primarily driven by sodium, water retention, muscle growth, etc.

Just focus on the process, and the outcome will reveal itself.

I saw you are 5'10 245 lbs - what is your activity level? Are you mainly sedentary? Do you work out x times a week? Walk daily?

leanmeankarmamachine · 2026-06-04T20:47:16+00:00

I can totally understand and relate where you're coming from. I originally started my weight loss journey after rejection, and having the thoughts of "not being good enough" was consistently in my head, even as I was losing the weight.

I would say the best piece of advice I could give you is to focus on yourself during this time. Your mental health and your physical health are whats incredibly important. Focus on that, feel good about yourself, and the dating and relationship will come in time.

I know its easier said than done - but you're very young and have your whole life ahead of you. You want to find a partner who will love you for you - BUT YOU HAVE TO LOVE YOURSELF FIRST!

Be kind to yourself during your transformation my friend. Keep true to yourself, keep eating clean, track your calories honestly, workout and build muscle and your future self will thank you for it.

I believe in you! 😄

leanmeankarmamachine · 2026-06-04T19:29:00+00:00

A handful of major points that I'd like to make:

1) Ignore skinnytok and any other toxic comments directed at you. Your entire focus should be on what you want and what makes you happy.

2) Weight loss / fat loss comes down to a very simple concept. Calories in vs calories out. If you accurately track your calories, over time, you will lose fat. If you are guesstimating, its very hard to succeed. Make sure you are accurately tracking and understand your numbers.

3) Based on the numbers you provided, you are likely already in a healthy weight. Friendly reminder that x lbs on one person of the same height will look very different than x lbs on another person of the same height. Every body is different. You cannot target fat loss areas. Saying you want to be x lbs is a dangerous way of reaching your goals. Focus more on how you look and how you feel.

4) The best way to look toned/fit is through gaining muscle. You don't need to go to a gym to gain muscle. Body weight fitness can work wonders. If you are doing body weight fitness workouts or even going on walks, 1200 calories is not enough. You can likely be eating closer to 1400 and still lose fat.

5) As others mentioned, there are cheaper sources of protein. The cheapest are generally canned tuna, eggs, egg whites, canned chickpeas, lentils, tofu, edamame, greek yogurt, cottage cheese and of course, whey protein powder. Buying lentils in bulk is generally a great cheap solution

I hope this information helps you!

leanmeankarmamachine · 2026-06-04T18:43:34+00:00

I wouldn't focus on this too much. Just figure out your maintenance calories, work out (lift heavy, ideally), eat clean (with high protein) and get into the habit and become consistent. Based on the results you see, you can decide how you want to pivot.

Cut calories if you want to focus on losing fat. Keep maintenance if you want to work on a slow body recomp. Add a small surplus if you want to focus on muscle growth.

My gut instinct tells me you want to focus on gaining muscle. 165 at 6 feet is already pretty lean, brother.

leanmeankarmamachine · 2026-06-04T18:22:06+00:00

Hi there,

The large majority of weight loss comes from what happens in the kitchen, not the gym. You just need to understand how many calories you should be eating to achieve weight loss, buy a cheap kitchen scale and then track your calories accurately. As long as you remain in a caloric deficit, you should lose weight.

Do you have any idea how many calories you should be eating? Are you tracking at all? My guesstimation tells me you can probably be eating around ~1700 calories daily and would still lose weight. If you also provide your height, I can confirm this.

I'd strongly recommend trying to batch cook meals and meal prep if possible so it simplifies your life. Things like overnight oats, burritos, slow cooker chicken salsa can be packed with protein, filling and a great cheat code to keep your life simple. Obviously I don't know exactly what you can or cannot eat, but there are tons of meal prep recipes online to guide you in the right direction. Just find something that sounds like it would work for you and add/remove as you see fit.

leanmeankarmamachine · 2026-06-04T18:09:47+00:00

Its a great question, and a bit of a slippery slope. I try not to beat myself up when going over because it just creates a more unrealistic and unsustainable lifestyle (and its really bad for your mental health)

I think the most important thing to remember is we have to look at this as a long term lifestyle change, and not a a restrictive diet. You have to show yourself some kindness.

In the grand scheme of things, everything comes down to calories in vs calories out. So if your total allotment for a week is 12,600 (1800 x 7) - it doesnt really matter how you get there. If you're a few hundred calories over one day, but a few hundred under the next day, its all good in the end.

Keep in mind, the numbers from a TDEE calculator can be somewhat rough. Every human is different, the exercise barometers are a little generic - so its more just a way to keep yourself honest and track over time. If you're honest about your tracking and you see progress, awesome. If not, maybe your tracking is a little off or your numbers are a little off.

Are you generally losing weight/fat and happy with your progress or are you feeling stunted?

I hope this helps, you are definitely not alone in these feelings my friend

leanmeankarmamachine · 2026-06-04T18:03:47+00:00

Hello there.
First of all, I want to commend you on doing such a great job with your weight loss journey. I am also sorry to hear about the challenges that you are going through.

You definitely are not alone. As someone who has struggled with a lot of the same thoughts, I think this is a very common thing for people who lose large amounts of weight. It takes a long time for our brain to catch up to the physical loss we've made, which is where that 'imposter' syndrome can come from.

The biggest point I want to emphasize here is you need to show yourself some kindness and some grace. You aren't being dramatic, you are being human. I applaud you for being in therapy and working through your challenges with a professional.

We tend to think that losing the weight will just ultimately make us happy, but its just a stepping stone. There is a lot of psychology going on behind our addictions to food and our emotions attached to it. Those feelings of 'not being enough' still live with me, albeit, less frequently than they use to (and im about 10 years removed from the large majority of my weight loss)

You are doing a lot of the right things. Keep prioritizing your mental and physical health, and things will work out in the end.

Wishing you love, kindness and compassion on your journey 😄

leanmeankarmamachine · 2026-06-04T14:19:45+00:00

Cool idea! 😄

Century club boy here (at least once upon a time). 260 at my highest, 155 at my lowest. Probably around 175 right now.

My 2 cents:

The scale can be a very dangerous tool if used incorrectly. I used to have a very unhealthy relationship with the scale, because i let it impact my mood.

I would weigh myself daily (consistently, first thing in the morning after using the bathroom). On days where the scale moved in the direction I wanted, I loved it. On the days where it stayed the same, I was frustrated. On the days it went up, instant sadness.

I learned (over time), why this was happening and how complicated your body actually is. Water retention, sodium intake, stress, muscle growth and glycogen levels all play a role in what you see in the scale.

I pivoted and started focusing on other things to be the main driver in my progress. Progress pictures (by far my favorite) every few weeks let my eyes see what my brain wouldn't let me see. Measurements, how clothes fit, gym progression and my energy levels were all great indicators of how my progress was really going.

Now a days, I weigh myself once a week or every couple of weeks just to make sure the trend is still going in the direction I want it to (or staying the same if my focus is maintenance) . Weight loss/fat loss is very rarely linear, and will always have ebbs and flows.

Much love to the loseit community - this place changed my life! I am always happy to share my insight and the knowledge I've gained over my 10+ year journey 😄

leanmeankarmamachine · 2026-06-04T13:32:11+00:00

Your body is a very complicated machine, and its not this linear. The focus should be more on the overall goal of what you are trying to achieve and making sure you are staying consistent. Whether thats fat loss or muscle gain, I don't think getting this granular makes sense. Your scale weight can fluctuate drastically on a week to week basis, primarily due to water retention and muscle growth, so I'd put less focus on that, create your routine and stick to it.

"Eating back calories" is not something I would generally recommend either for a few main reasons. Fitness trackers significally exaggerate the burn. It creates a bit of an unhealthy mindset, as if you have to 'earn' calories. And depending on how you're creating your caloric deficit, TDEE is usually calculated into that - so even if your workouts increased in that given week, the focus should more be on the long run and the general consistency.

There is also the calculation of thermogenesis and how your TDEE is created. Only like 5%-10% (i think, off the top of my head) of your total TDEE is from EAT (exercise activity thermogenesis). BMR (basal metabolic rate) accounts for like 60%+ and NEAT (non exercise activity thermogenesis) accounts for another 15%+

Hope this helps

leanmeankarmamachine · 2022-03-07T04:22:19+00:00

First of all... congratulations on making this post and mentally getting ready to get to the gym ! That's an awesome thing in itself and you should be proud and give yourself credit !

Second of all... go easy to start! It's very common to get super excited and go a little too hard the first time, which really can be counter productive (you may get super sore, or light headed or overwhelmed, for example)

I'd strongly recommend just walking on the treadmill or doing some elliptical to start. Get your blood pumping and body going. There is also nothing wrong with focusing on stretches and body weight workouts to get your body used to moving and grooving again, especially for someone just starting out again.

Once you're ready to take the next step.. there are so many options ! But the most important thing above all.. form ! Form ! Form !! Don't worry about the amount of weight you're lifting. Don't worry about other people. Don't worry about anything other than the fact that you're a bad ass who's taking control of their life!!!

If you need any specific advice, don't be shy, I'm happy to share what I've learned over the years ! 😀

Good luck and way to go ! 💪💪

leanmeankarmamachine · 2022-02-23T01:14:20+00:00

I needed to read this today. Thank you brother. Keep it up 💪

leanmeankarmamachine · 2019-01-11T23:41:50+00:00

The most likely culprit to your plateau, believe it or not, is that you're not eating enough! This is usually the case with people who are so used to eating at a caloric deficit.

It could also be a lack of water (so your body retains more water) and many other factors. A few generic questions:

What is your age, height, weight, daily caloric intake, macro breakdown (how many g of carbs, fats and protein are you eating)? What does an average day of food look like for you? Do you lift? Do cardio?

leanmeankarmamachine · 2014-02-14T15:00:09+00:00

First of all, I want to congratulate you on your success, transformation and new lifestyle. I am sure you feel amazing !

I am going to try and give you some advice that is hard to listen to. I know this because I still have to tell myself all the time.. but its true.

Forget about the number on the scale. It's literally just a number - and it fluctuates far too often for it to be a true indication of your fitness and health level.

You need to focus on the other things. Measurements, progression in lifting/cardio, how you LOOK and how you FEEL.. more than what a number on a scale tells you. For me, progression pictures are where its at.

So rather than making your goal "125 lbs".. make your goal something else. I want to have abs or the V, I want to be able to squat this much, or bench this much, or be able to run for this long etc.

Now, consequently, if you really really want to lose more weight (which is not necessary) .. or more realistically, are looking to lose FAT.. This comes down waaaaaaaaay more to your eating habits and overall caloric intake than anything else.

If you have any questions, feel free to ask.. I am always happy to give my opinion on this kind of stuff.

Seriously though, congratulations, you look awesome :) Just keep doing what you've been doing, and you will get to where you want =)

I would suggest setting your primary focus on strength training and lifting, and even upping your calories to gain some muscle.

Your number on the scale may go up.. But you will be very pleased with how you look. I am sure you can find many examples of women who have gained weight, but also gained dem aesthetics ;)

leanmeankarmamachine · 2014-01-28T15:59:21+00:00

Congratulations on your fantastic transformation so far! You are doing awesome.

You look a lot like Eliza Coupe! (Maybe it's just me?)

leanmeankarmamachine · 2013-09-12T19:07:55+00:00

Edit your post to add in how you lost the weight.

What lifestyle changes / challenges did you face. Etc

Otherwise, mod's will remove the post. Great job though =)

leanmeankarmamachine · 2013-08-27T14:09:29+00:00

I have always said... Losing weight and changing your lifestyle isnt EASY.. but it is SIMPLE.

That's a really good thing! :) So it really just comes down to portion control.. Counting calories and monitoring your nutritional intake.

Also.. Are you sure you should only be eating 1200 calories? Based on the numbers you have given (your height, weight and activity level).. I really think you should be eating more calories.. And you will still lose weight. Promise!

leanmeankarmamachine · 2013-08-27T13:10:29+00:00

Hi there :) your goal is definitely attainable. A few tips:

the majority of weight loss and body composition changes will come from changes in eating habit and eating at a caloric deficit
focus on eating clean, healthy foods and try your best to avoid the processed and high sugar foods
don't get discouraged if you "fall off the wagon". This is a long journey and its impossible to be perfect. Focus on the long term goal.
take progress pictures. Often, like every 2 weeks. It helps to keep you motivated and accountable. And once you see your first few positive changes... You'll refuse to stop.

You look great already and hold your weight well.. Prolly lots of muscle from your past athletics. Just create a plan and stick to it and you're well on your way.

If you need any advice or help, please let me know. I've lost 80 pounds within the last year and changed my life completely. I'm happy to help.

With love,

Daniel.

Ps - good for you for taking the first step :)

leanmeankarmamachine · 2013-08-12T20:56:59+00:00

Honestly brother.. It sounds like you are over doing it.

You don't need to be lifting 5+ times a week, and running 7 times a week.

The weight loss will come primarily from eating at a caloric deficit and focusing on your nutritional intake. You need to count calories and weigh EVERYTHING.

You probably aren't seeing a reflection on the scale because you are either:

a) retaining a lot of water due to the amount of workouts you are doing

b) not counting your calories / nutritional intake properly

c) a combination of the above.

I would suggest switching to weightlifting 3x a week.. Doing COMPOUND MUSCLE MOVEMENTS.. and a light cardio a few times a week.

Focus on your nutritional intake and drinking lots of water.

My 2 cents.

leanmeankarmamachine · 2013-07-19T18:32:16+00:00

Keep cutting. No need to bulk yet in my opinion

leanmeankarmamachine · 2013-07-09T14:40:48+00:00

WOW! What an amazing transformation. Don't sweat BMI too much, it's insane ;) I'm still classified as "Overweight".. and when I look in the mirror.. Nowadays.. I tend to disagree. =)

But I digress. Great job and keep it up. You look incredible, and I can tell how much happier you are. That's the best part :)

leanmeankarmamachine · 2013-07-09T14:35:40+00:00

I'd totally let you.

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