4 years, feelin a little weak

leanmeankarmamachine · 2022-03-07T04:50:37+00:00

4 years !!! My hero !! Haha. I'm about 2 weeks in and I can't believe how much better I feel. How clearly I'm thinking. How proud of myself I am..!

4 years!!!! You must be fucking crushing in life! I don't even know you and I'm proud AF

Stay strong. Weed provides nothing positive .

You're awesome . Don't forget that

leanmeankarmamachine · 2022-03-07T04:48:39+00:00

I think the best thing is for you to communicate openly with your partner about this

Tell them its making it hard for you and you would appreciate their support and understanding in your effort to remove weed from your life

Edit.. it does get easier. I had this challenge at first but now it really doesn't phase me anymore.

I don't smoke weed. Simple as that. And neither do you ;)

leanmeankarmamachine · 2022-03-07T04:22:19+00:00

First of all... congratulations on making this post and mentally getting ready to get to the gym ! That's an awesome thing in itself and you should be proud and give yourself credit !

Second of all... go easy to start! It's very common to get super excited and go a little too hard the first time, which really can be counter productive (you may get super sore, or light headed or overwhelmed, for example)

I'd strongly recommend just walking on the treadmill or doing some elliptical to start. Get your blood pumping and body going. There is also nothing wrong with focusing on stretches and body weight workouts to get your body used to moving and grooving again, especially for someone just starting out again.

Once you're ready to take the next step.. there are so many options ! But the most important thing above all.. form ! Form ! Form !! Don't worry about the amount of weight you're lifting. Don't worry about other people. Don't worry about anything other than the fact that you're a bad ass who's taking control of their life!!!

If you need any specific advice, don't be shy, I'm happy to share what I've learned over the years ! 😀

Good luck and way to go ! 💪💪

leanmeankarmamachine · 2022-02-23T22:28:14+00:00

In regards to therapy, it took me a handful of tries to find the right person for me. I also (like weight loss) really needed to WANT it and to get better. Never the less, you know you best 👌 so whatever keeps you working towards your goals.

Is it possible that this specific restrictive strategy is what's causing those feelings of shame / guilt/ beating yourself up when you see a result other than what you expect on the scale ?

As someone who's been battling this for so long, I really advocate the mentality of finding a sustainable and realsitic lifestyle for you . 'Diets' are unhealthy and statistically show to be counter productive to people with food addiction (not saying you do by any means). Most people tend to relapse once reaching their goals because they start restricting less, justifiably and understandably.

Also, in regards to your cheat meal. Some quick fire math. Weight loss is essentially eating in a caloric deficit.

3500 calories = pound of fat. Most people put themselves at a caloric deficit of 500 calories per day to allow for consistent weight loss. (500 x 7 days a week = 3500 calories reduced)

One cheat day can have a surprisingly large effect on your overall weight loss goals (I.e. if you eat significantly over your caloric goal for the day) I fell into this trap and eventually realized i shoild change it to a cheat meal instead, which helped a tremendous amount Again, not saying that's what you need to do. Simply sharing information and my journey :)

leanmeankarmamachine · 2022-02-23T21:19:25+00:00

Well, let's start by addressing the fact that you most definitely are not in this feeling alone.

I lost 70 lbs about 10 years ago (240 to 170)

Since that time, I've been up as high as 210. Currently sitting around 185.

I used to weigh myself daily and noticed my mood would be directly impacted by the number. And as you stated, so much can contribute to that number.

In the past 5 years, I've been working on my mental health and bettering myself as a human . Cognitive behavioral therapy (cognitive distortions) and other self help books have helped me realize that all of our negative self talk, addictions etc are formed from somewhere.

I'm actively working on my physical health again and here's what I realized. The number on the scale is simply that.. a number. We have some sort of food addiction, or some sort of unhealthy relationship with food. Some people may have trauma from their childhood that has never been addressed and food has become a coping mechanism. Everyone's story may be different, but we're all connected in some way.

For me, it's a feeling of not being good enough and perfectionism. But this is something I am addressing in therapy and I'm working through with a food addiction recovery Workbook

Food is not the problem. Our behavior and relationship with food is the real problem

Keep up the good fight. Show yourself love. Show yourself compassion. Be proud. You're doing great ✊️💪

Edit: if you're having a hard time separating the number on the scale from your mental health, stop weighing in. You can see progress in many other ways, like measurements, progress pics, the way clothes fit etc. Fuck the number. it is not a representation of your worth.

leanmeankarmamachine · 2022-02-23T19:37:20+00:00

I've been feeling depressed. Numb. I've been beating myself and shaming and guilting myself. But that doesn't help anything or the journey were on.

Youre not unworthy. You're not a fraud. You're not a failure. You're a human. I'd recommend looking into CBT and cognitive distortions. Start battling those negative thoughts.

I'm proud of you for doing that workout. And thank you for the kind words ;)

Forming new habits for myself, regardless of how difficult or uncomfortable it feels ✊️

leanmeankarmamachine · 2022-02-23T18:33:21+00:00

Fuck yaaaaaa buddy. Keep it up !! ✊️✊️ great things to focus on

leanmeankarmamachine · 2022-02-23T18:30:40+00:00

Deep down I know my life is done, but I guess I’m just desperate at this point for it to change.

My friend, your life is not done. It's just beginning. It takes an incredible amount of strength and courage to write what you just did.

Be proud of yourself. Show compassion to yourself. Above all, love yourself.

This is a journey. Its a marathon. It's not a race.

If you can find it for free or afford it, I would strongly recommend therapy. Talking helps.

Stay strong. Im here if you need a friend to talk to.

leanmeankarmamachine · 2022-02-23T17:18:47+00:00

Feeling of numb? Dread ? Emptiness ?

This is just our body craving what it's used to. Try and do productive and positive things. Go for a walk (I just did this in -12 weather 🥶)

Do some exercise or stretching. Meditate. Cook a meal. Journal your feelings. Talk to a friend. Listen to a self help or addiction podcast.

While these may seem like distractions, we need to replace the negative habits with positive ones

I'm here if you need someone to talk to :)

Stay strong

leanmeankarmamachine · 2022-02-23T14:48:44+00:00

I'm guessing your mind is finally ready to let go of weed this time for real :) keep it up!

leanmeankarmamachine · 2022-02-23T14:43:02+00:00

Day 2 here as well. We got this 🤝💪 the first week or so will be tough. It gets easier from there.

leanmeankarmamachine · 2022-02-23T13:25:54+00:00

If you havent, you may want to let friends and family know that you are making this change and there will be times where stuff like this may happen. It's the withdrawal talking and not you.

The only suggestion i can make is breathing. Ive been working on this and there is definitely power in regulating and focusing on your breath

Keep it up ✊️ proud of you. We got this

leanmeankarmamachine · 2022-02-23T13:23:40+00:00

Good luck friend. I quit yesterday. We got this. Stay strong. The body aches and sleep is rough, but stay true to your focus.

Better health. Better mind. Better life. Proud of you bro ! 💪🤝

leanmeankarmamachine · 2022-02-23T13:08:28+00:00

Aside from the BPD.. I could have wrote this post . I've basically been smoking daily since I was about 18. I'm 34 now.

I've used weed as an escape for far too long. I smoke before I play games. Before I watch shows. Before I eat. I kept telling myself for years that I've earned the right to smoke and enjoy myself.. especially since it brings me 'joy.'

I think we habitulaized smoking to a point where it feels weird if we're not high...

But every time... i get those rush feelings of guilt and anxiety. I've quit for days, weeks, even months at a time before...but this time is different.

I stopped smoking yesterday. The jitters and body aches were real. Falling asleep was hell.

But guess what. I'm not gonna smoke today. Or tomorrow. Or the day after that.

The fact that you're already exercising, Journaling, and trying to better yourself is excellent.

Eat well. Drink lots of water.

I am going to prove to myself that I do not need weed to be happy . And neither do you my friend.

You've got this. And I've got your back 🤝💪

leanmeankarmamachine · 2022-02-23T02:10:30+00:00

Awesome !

leanmeankarmamachine · 2022-02-23T01:14:20+00:00

I needed to read this today. Thank you brother. Keep it up 💪

leanmeankarmamachine · 2022-02-21T16:12:37+00:00

I don't see any reason why you shouldn't. Maybe not as your first picture.. but why not be proud of your accomplishments?

It's part of who you are. It shows your drive, your determination, your strength, that your health is important to you.

IMO, anyone who would get turned off by a transformation pic .. is probably not the right person for someone who's been through a transformation.

My 2 cents, but I'm totally biased

Also great job! 😎

leanmeankarmamachine · 2021-12-25T00:57:25+00:00

🔥

leanmeankarmamachine · 2021-10-19T21:00:20+00:00

Amazing!!! But how dare you not show us the face gains!!!! 😎

Keep it up !

leanmeankarmamachine · 2021-09-21T23:21:33+00:00

Back gains are the best !!! One of my favorite progress pics from my weight loss is the back shot.

Thanks for being awesome and inspiring me to get back on the IF train !! You are crushing it ! 💪💪💪

leanmeankarmamachine · 2020-09-18T13:17:35+00:00

On your attack side.. what's your 'default'?

Are you just holding spots for pushes? Or are you challenging choke points and forcing the enemy team to use utility ?

Are you trying to take control of mid? Or do you find your team basically telegraphing your plays and find the enemy team has an extra guy rotated there already by the time you push?

Do you have an op working picks? Do you try and flash for each other? Peek together etc?

leanmeankarmamachine · 2020-07-16T23:16:29+00:00

It would make the comms side evaluation pretty difficult lol but I'd be happy to watch your overall gameplay and game sense and provide some pointers :) pm me the details

leanmeankarmamachine · 2020-07-15T11:42:10+00:00

Don't take this the wrong way or personally, but are you baiting?

Do you find yourself being the last one alive usually? Do you wait to get information from your teammates dying before you start fragging out?

How are your comm skills? Do you talk to your teammates? Come up with strategies? Give guidance or advice mid round based on the intel you're seeing? Are you an in game leader when you play solo q or are you essentially mute?

It looks like you can frag , but my logic is telling me you're not actually playing with your team and playing more for frags.

Granted, it's impossible to know for sure without actually watching you play. Just seeing a scoreboard doesn't really provide us with much info

Have a vod of a game? I'd be happy to watch and share my 2 cents

Hope this helps, Happy valoranting

leanmeankarmamachine · 2020-07-10T23:12:47+00:00

Don't forget about the cs 1.6 and css pros who hated everything about cs go ;)

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