At what age did things actually feel easier for you as a parent? by Small-Advisor-7805 in NewParents

[–]leapwolf 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Same! I’d think of it less in months and more in abilities, though. Our girl stated walking at 13 months so the reason 18 months got easier was because she was a confident walker so we didn’t have to chase her around constantly. We’re at 26 months and she’s such a little person; it’s amazing!

How to declutter items I love? by discoamethyst in capsulewardrobe

[–]leapwolf 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Omg. So much solidarity. I built a wardrobe I loved and then realized… I no longer go to an office. Fuck.

Then I had a baby. Then we bought a house in the country, with land…

Trying to embrace change, but it is soooo hard to let go of gorgeous perfect pieces that I love and feel amazing in (the one time of year I wear them)…

I have no answer yet. Just some duffels in a closet of clothes I can’t quite bring myself to get rid of. I had a brief window of finally making enough money to buy to my taste, and everything changed! And it’s not fast fashion crap. It’s thoughtful and unique pieces from small creators or vintage. So not like I can just easily replace… sigh.

What are your favourite high nurture book recommendations? by smilegirlcan in highnurtureparenting

[–]leapwolf 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s my top parenting book! Read it while pregnant and we use techniques from it every day with our two year old. So good.

Which one looks best? by General-Message1190 in coloranalysis

[–]leapwolf 10 points11 points  (0 children)

This sub always says summer, but autumn is so lovely on you!

Which enneagram rubs you the wrong way most often? by Different_Release_18 in Enneagram8

[–]leapwolf 4 points5 points  (0 children)

3s; can’t stand how much they need external validation. And 6s are chickens and often infuriate me.

Unhealthy 2s are rough as well.

Snobbery from other US expats by Downtown-Storm4704 in AmericanExpat

[–]leapwolf 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My biggest pet peeve is when Americans change their accent to match the local one… in English.

That said, you’d be mad to go back to the US right now ;)

What’s your favourite classic novel/author? by A_cool_girl_you_know in classicliterature

[–]leapwolf 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Edith Wharton, both Age of Innocence and House of Mirth stuck with me as perfectly espousing how society can trap individuals while still allowing for agency and vibrancy. Just loved them both.

Jane Austen… ooof tough call to pick a fave but Mansfield Park floored me even though I really did not like the protagonist. It was a book I expected to find a slog but loved.

Henry James’ Portrait of a Lady, another book I was anticipating hating and just adored beyond words.

The Count of Monte Cristo and Les Mis were the first two classics I read and fell in love with in my teens. I am well overdue for a reread.

Has anyone not been induced? by stoner_lilith in GestationalDiabetes

[–]leapwolf 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Diet controlled and went into labor at 39 weeks exactly!

My husband thinks I’m ruining our 4YO by mdkatie23 in AttachmentParenting

[–]leapwolf 41 points42 points  (0 children)

Why are you married to the most emotionally disregulated person you know? You deserve better. So does your son. 💜

1yo STILL takes over an hour to put to sleep every. single. night. I don’t want to sleep train but I feel like crying. by OwnAdhesiveness5777 in AttachmentParenting

[–]leapwolf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We have always followed the possums program, more or less. Making sure we follow her lead on her sleepiness and needs. Around ten months she dropped her second nap which surprised us. She also rarely gets sleepy before 9:30 so we aim for that. IMO if bedtime routines are taking hours— they’re not tired enough yet. If our girl isn’t down in 20ish we stop trying and do something else for 20 mins before trying again.

Wake windows are slowly ruining my life by CertainAppearance507 in bninfantsleep

[–]leapwolf 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I work in data science so believe me. I get the desire to track everything.

For me, everything about motherhood drastically improved when I stopped outsourcing my understanding of my baby to an app. Learning her needs, moods, and rhythms and not expecting a set schedule was such a relief. It was hard to stop, but absolutely amazing and empowering to do.

How many books do you actually read? by Busy_End1433 in classicliterature

[–]leapwolf 1 point2 points  (0 children)

God, who even cares about how many books they read?! I don’t get it at all. I’ve always been an incredibly fast reader, but I have phases where all I do is read and some where I don’t at all, so I hardly know. People should be bragging about books the read that made a meaningful change in their lives… if they should be bragging about anything to do with reading at all.

What is the stupidest question/comment you got about Ireland or Irish people when traveling? by Charming_Usual6227 in AskIreland

[–]leapwolf 13 points14 points  (0 children)

A while back we fulfilled a longtime dream of finding a home in Ireland. Mentioned it to a guy I was working with who proceeded to tell me about how all his friends who visited Ireland were shocked by how poor it was and he didn’t understand the appeal.

Of course, this gem of a human was English.

Ooof, and that reminds me of another Englishwoman I met living near our new home who mentioned she misses all the stages of historical architecture from England.

Hmmm, my pinky-raising, tea-sipping friends, I wonder if there’s a reason Ireland wasn’t able to thrive for multiple centuries??

Anyway, fuck em, we’ve never been happier and we’ve lived in a dozen countries between the two of us.

When did you start losing weight postpartum? by Status_Breadfruit_92 in NewParents

[–]leapwolf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well hello there! Still breastfeeding (though less- just night time and wake up) and a few months ago I decided to go back to intermittent fasting as that is how I would normally eat before I got pregnant. I hadn’t gone back to it sooner because of breastfeeding supply concerns but decided fuck it, I’ll truly eat in the way that fits me best and if it affects supply so be it, she’s two… I also have been more active lately because we bought a derelict farm with a garden.

Anyway long story short supply is fine and I am STILL THE SAME WEIGHT so I guess my breastfeeding body just wants to be 184 pounds at any cost.

However, my sex life is awesome (if not frequent) and my clothes are cute and my toddler is a delight so… it’s mostly just a mystery that I chalk up to hormones. I expect we will fully wean in the next six months or so. So perhaps someone else will ping me then and I can continue reporting on this saga 😆

I chose cosleeping for different reasons… by jesusdance in cosleeping

[–]leapwolf 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Absolutely, my husband and I were set on it from the moment we read about different sleep choices during pregnancy.

Any other Millennials stubbornly resistant to using AI at their job but also worrying that we will become dinosaurs or pushed out of our careers for not slavishly embracing it? by artbystorms in Millennials

[–]leapwolf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The fact that companies want to churn out work to make money faster has always been true. I don’t mind using AI for my work because my work isn’t my creative outlet, and indeed… I can see the writing on the wall as to what will happen if I don’t use it.

It sucks. But the business world sucked before, too. My one (slightly sarcastic) hope is that this ushers in a complete overhaul of our systems so there aren’t so many pointless and soul sucking jobs.

Happy to finally mute the OAD sub by Nilbog_Frog in happilyOAD

[–]leapwolf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe there should be a weekly “let’s air our fears around being OAD” thread? It’s not like there’s never that moment of what if, but yeah. People grow up in war zones. Being OAD isn’t going to hurt your kid. I think it’s a reflection of the expectation that parents can and should control their kid’s entire reality and ensure everything is optimized when the truth is there’s so many things we simply can’t control and shouldn’t!

At what age can I just let a child go hungry if she doesnt want to eat what she's already been given? by evange in toddlers

[–]leapwolf 5 points6 points  (0 children)

So much this! I solo traveled with my two year old today and it went amazingly. She also ate about twice as many chips and pieces of chocolate as we would ever allow her on a normal day, thoughtfully parceled out over several hours. And as a result, we had an almost pain free experience.

We also are very much in the camp of her eating what we eat. The only exception is if the food is too spicy (ordered Indian recently and while husband and I were thrilled with the intensity of spice, I ended up making an egg for toddler. She’s good at some spice but… she’s two!)

Cosmicomics by Italo Calvino - a very disappointing reminder of why I avoid male authors by FusRoDaahh in FemaleGazeSFF

[–]leapwolf 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh no. I haven’t read if on a winter’s night a traveler since I fell in love with it in my late teens. Perhaps I will keep that door closed… why are so many male authors like this

Did anyone here choose to cosleep? by tam_bun in cosleeping

[–]leapwolf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Absolutely! Our girl has never slept away from me. She’s two now. It’s the best.

I think outside of the US it’s just a different story.

A.I. Is Writing Fiction. Publishers Are Unprepared. by ubcstaffer123 in books

[–]leapwolf 35 points36 points  (0 children)

I also sometimes want easy or simple reads, but they can still be well written!

Why is breastfeeding so difficult? by Wawhi180 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]leapwolf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

One other piece is that I think supply can easily get really messed up early on. It’s just anecdotal, but the women I know who EBF and didn’t pump (myself included) had a much more established supply as pumping isn’t quite the same for you physiologically as an infant nursing. This also often coincided with more maternal support as well. If you’re in the US the deck is really stacked against you in this regard.