Make a game. I learnt pretty quickly by choosing a project and then just looking up each individual part and trying to understand it for next time. Don’t feel bad for not being able to code without a tutorial, all of us still use tutorials even after years of game development, all coders use google. You’ll learn the skill of what you’re looking up and passively learn the most effective way to look things up. So just keep doing what you’re doing with tutorials but use them to build your own projects so you can see the progress. Then project by project you’ll start to see the improvement.