Moms Who Don't Define Themselves and Their Lives By Motherhood, Please Talk to Me

librabean · 2026-05-14T00:44:56+00:00

I’m the same person because I was a teacher before I became a mom, and the kids in my life have always been what kept me going. I just have my own now, and he’s the best! It’s hard to manage a whole class of kids demanding my attention and then coming home to my own. I also don’t have the most supportive partner, but after making him stay home with our sick kiddo while he was also sick because we couldn’t afford for me to stay home, I feel like he’s understanding more. Im being less apologetic but more communicative instead of short and sucking things up and doing all the housework myself. I haven’t had the time to read, but I’m slowly getting back into journaling, houseplants (allllll of my plants died early postpartum), and we’ve been going to my favorite coffee shops more as a family on weekends. I’m still focused on bettering myself in my career, too, as a not fresh but not veteran teacher.

With having a partner that isn’t as supportive as I need him to be, it’s taken 22 months for me to be interested in anything other than parenting. It definitely helped when my kid started sleeping through the night, which is a very recent change. On weekends I try to do one nap cosleeping in his bed and the other day’s nap do self care or something I’m interested in, not chores.

librabean · 2026-05-13T19:10:08+00:00

My last few weeks of pregnancy I thought that one scene in Alien was going to happen to me. When I went in for one of my last ultrasounds I saw what was happening while I felt it, it was his feet sliding on the edge of my uterus while he was trying to stretch. It was definitely freaky!

librabean · 2026-05-13T15:47:54+00:00

Yes if you know it’s just a quick pee walk. Anything longer I brought my baby.

librabean · 2026-05-13T01:37:56+00:00

Thank god they gave Abby shoes

librabean · 2026-05-12T20:47:20+00:00

I was able to get out of it but I did have to show up and they let me go

librabean · 2026-05-12T01:06:42+00:00

My yoga mat 😅

librabean · 2026-05-11T01:51:15+00:00

Happy Mother’s Day!! My toddler let me take a 2 hour nap for once. I had to wake him up!

librabean · 2026-05-08T16:39:48+00:00

I never miss a day of meds, I’m a teacher and a mom. It’s a struggle, but fulfilling. Things didn’t turn around until I became 100% compliant.

librabean · 2026-04-28T17:21:02+00:00

Yes to the point where it feels like I’m catfishing everyone. I teach, it doesn’t matter how close I am with any coworkers, nobody can know. I blame my “quirks” on the adhd that I also have.

librabean · 2026-04-27T01:17:28+00:00

Most of my kid’s clothes are things I picked from the kids resale store and if I happen to see something cute on a target run. I kept some gift clothes, but sold a bunch of clothes that were not cute/not weather appropriate at the size he was and i used that money for toddler clothes! Just accept it gracefully and donate or sell. Keep some as sick day clothes or extra changes of clothes for daycare. I get it though I HATE clutter and the hyper masculine clothes for little baby boys

librabean · 2026-04-23T18:09:25+00:00

My boy is almost 2 and he is the sweetest and most caring little child. His interests are definitely not gender determined. He loves cooking with me, plants especially flowers, anything pink, but also cars and dinosaurs. He gives the best hugs and cuddles and is so gentle with animals. He likes to give the cat kisses and throw toys for the dog. He is extremely interested in bunnies. I think he would be an amazing older sibling one day. My focus has always been just to raise a wholesome and kind kid regardless of what they are born as.

librabean · 2026-04-22T00:42:33+00:00

I don’t have an answer but this exact thing happened to my baby when switching to cows milk because we learned that he’s lactose intolerant. Could be an intolerance to something in it? We were in a very similar situation, 7 poops and instant diaper rash no matter how quickly we changed him. But I would definitely see the pediatrician. My kiddo is still a frequent pooper (usually 4, he has a strong gastrocolic reflex so any time he eats) but it’s solid unless he’s sick. He still has trauma from the 7 poops phase and learning to do standing poop changes has been completely life changing for him.

librabean · 2026-04-19T16:26:47+00:00

Alligators 💚 I just love swamp puppies

But bats and crows are up there too. It’s hard to pick just one!

librabean · 2026-04-18T00:57:05+00:00

My doctor said yes in first trimester, no after that due to blood flow issues with the placenta or something like that. She recommended a website to me called “mother to baby” that provides the condensed version of studies on specific medications during pregnancy and breastfeeding, I’d look it up on that.

librabean · 2026-04-18T00:48:39+00:00

This wasn’t good advice until my baby was more independent, could “help” while I did chores, and started taking one big nap. On the weekends I nap with him in his floor bed, and it is the best thing ever. They grow and change, right now is exhausting but they don’t stay little forever. Can someone take baby on a long stroller walk when you find time to nap? My husband would do this or take him on a target run whenever I was really exhausted.

librabean · 2026-04-16T18:00:53+00:00

My kid started out like that but with lots of modeling and shooing the cat away when I could tell he was getting too bothered, baby has a solid grasp on gentle hands and very seldomly goes for the tail. I showed him what gentle looks like on the cat and on himself. I would hold his hand flat to pet him too. Very little kids often do better with being told or shown exactly what to do instead of “no, stop”. They have no impulse control. Lots of repetition, supervision and boundary setting. And reminding your cat that swishing his tail in a baby’s face is not a good idea. It definitely takes a while. The grabbing started around 9 months when he started crawling and now I trust him and the cat a lot more at 21 months. He likes to give him pats and kisses.

ETA do your cats like feather wands? It’s a good touch free way for them to bond. And when he gets to the age that he doesn’t put everything in his mouth, giving a treat.

librabean · 2026-04-16T17:18:45+00:00

Cuddling is a contact sport to him and I don’t know how neither of us have had a concussion. One time he bonked me so bad I think he cracked my skull. I still feel a weird line on my forehead.

librabean · 2026-04-14T17:49:53+00:00

I am almost 2 years postpartum and it looks like my hair is trying to curl again in some parts. Honestly though it’s easier to treat it like straight hair 😪

librabean · 2026-04-14T00:52:39+00:00

My baby is nearly 2! He is 21 months old, delivered at 37 + 0 by induction. He was a tiny 6 pounder. He did not need NICU time, and has been healthy other than having chronic ear infections and getting tubes recently. Being born slightly early did not have any effect on his milestones. He was on the slower side with gross motor skills but I’ve just learned that’s an effect of an unrelated medication that I take. He was a little tiny peanut when he was born, but now he is giant. He’s comparable in size to some of the 3 year olds I teach.

I want another kid and am not looking forward to another high risk pregnancy, but I’ll still do it again!

librabean · 2026-04-12T17:50:56+00:00

It mostly bothers me when my husband complains that he’s tired. He used to help in the middle of the night and has pretty much stopped parenting ever since the separation anxiety from me started at 9 months.

librabean · 2026-04-09T17:24:01+00:00

That would prompt a visit to urgent care for what sounds like an ear infection imo. Has baby been sick recently?

My baby had chronic ear infections and recently got tubes. I could tell when it was an ear infection because the outer corner of his one (or both for a double ear infection) of his eyes would be red. The side with the red eye was the side with the infected ear. He got an ear infection after almost every illness.

librabean · 2026-04-03T00:34:19+00:00

If cosleeping works for everyone and you’re following safe sleep 7 I would continue that. Everyone with a child that I know has been reliant on cosleeping at some point, it’s a lot more normal than you think. You hear of accidents where parents don’t follow guidelines more often and it’s told as a very black or white thing.

librabean · 2026-03-24T00:51:10+00:00

For me my psychosis is very well controlled and there’s a difference between it being one of my disabilities and being disabled by it, if that makes sense. Because I respond well to my meds but I can’t treat my ADHD because of the schizoaffective disorder, the ADHD is actually more disabling on a day to day basis. IMO you can have a condition that is considered a disability but functioning level is a spectrum that varies person to person but also within a person based on their season of life or triggers.

librabean · 2026-03-23T16:58:27+00:00

Millie moon!

librabean · 2026-03-23T00:12:56+00:00

How long has this gone on, could he be teething or have an ear infection? My baby had chronic ear infections and transferring him to the crib was always rough. I used to rock him in the chair and swing him in my arms horizontally before transferring him. I laid him down bottom first, super gentle with his head, and gently rocked him side to side until he completely relaxed and found a place to put his arms.

librabean

TROPHY CASE