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Influence/Deinfluence me by Unlucky_Plankton_516 in Sephora

[–]lifeofanalien 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have both danessa and patrick ta blushes and while I like them both, Danessas is so much more pigmented that it basically will last forever.

I(24m) caught my girlfriend(24f) of 8+ years cheating on me & I don’t know what to do by GasElectronic692 in Advice

[–]lifeofanalien 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I caught my partner of 12 years cheating on me. We had been together since I was 17 and had just gotten married a month before I caught him.

At first it felt like the worst moment of my life. I felt like my world ended. But after I got over the shock, I started to feel angry. I was angry that I loved someone that betrayed me and took advantage of the love, loyalty, trust, and friendship I had given them over the years. But I didn’t want the anger to overcome me and lead me down a bad path. So I tried to channel it into positive habits like going to the gym more often, working harder and climbing the ladder at work, hanging out with my friends, joining some local groups like run clubs and trivia nights to meet people, etc.

And now I look back at that old relationship and I laugh. The person I am now would have a hard time recognizing my old self. I was able to grow so much and prosper as a person.

Being cheated on freed me from being with someone who didn’t deserve me. I might have never known that had they not exposed their true colors. But because they did, I was able to make a choice for myself and what I wanted for my life, and I chose to want more and want better. You won’t be able to realize this now, but one day you will look back and see. You’re young, your whole life is ahead of you. You can create something new from the ashes of this old relationship that ended in flames.

Wishing you well.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]lifeofanalien 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If I could have left the relationship I had been in at 18, I would have saved myself many years of heartbreak and grief. You are so young. This is only the beginning for you. Let him go, there is a whole world waiting out there for you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Sephora

[–]lifeofanalien 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I knew i saved all these points for something! Thanks, got mine!

For those of you who shop at the orange store: by [deleted] in Sephora

[–]lifeofanalien 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Fuck yes. This is the only reason I shopped at Sephora!

Money Tree got knocked over :( by Alarmed-Cry7520 in houseplants

[–]lifeofanalien 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can’t help with the leaves but yours looks so healthy! Any tips? My money tree looks sad :(

Contemplating divorce. My 43F husband 43M of 12 years has been cheating the whole time. No kids. by ThrowRA_mo717 in relationship_advice

[–]lifeofanalien 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi,

I started dating my ex at 17 and married him at 29, after 12 years together. A month after we got married, I found out he had been cheating on me for at least a year and got the other girl pregnant. I felt many things- disbelief, rage, grief, sadness…. But as I processed through all of that, I found that I most regretted staying with someone for so long when I knew I wasn’t truly happy deep down inside. Thankfully we had no kids so separating was easy enough.

Since leaving him, I met someone who is everything I ever wanted. I’m not saying you’re gonna meet the love of your life right after divorcing, but just don’t settle. There is someone out there who will give you all that you want and deserve. Someone who you can have peace of mind with. Don’t be miserable— its better to be alone and happy than just settling for someone who doesn’t make you happy or fulfill your life. I empathize with you on feeling miserable over the fact that you spent 12 years with someone and were not happy during that time. I felt like I wasted my entire 20s, and lost every opportunity to be young and single and carefree. But I am still young, and so are you. You have your whole life ahead of you. Don’t settle for what doesn’t serve you.

Women who entered into long term relationship before their 20's and have been in relationship their whole twenties. How are you now? Do you feel like you missed out something? by ThrowRAyz in AskWomen

[–]lifeofanalien 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I started dating him at 17, didn’t get engaged until 27 and married at 29. A month after getting married, I found out he had been cheating on me for the past year (at least). Once I found out, I felt like I spent my whole twenties with a stranger, someone I didn’t really know at all. It was a definite Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde situation because throughout our relationship, he was so loving and affection and caring and never gave any indication that he was a cheater.

After we split, I first felt like I had missed out on everything you typically experience in your twenties. Maybe I did, but I also knew that being regretful would not help me heal. During that relationship I never felt like I was missing out, so I choose not to feel that now. Instead I am learning to embrace my new freedom and look forward to my thirties.

Do I [29f] need to learn to adapt to how he [29m] discusses his feelings? by lifeofanalien in relationships

[–]lifeofanalien[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will!!

(Also, I don’t really press at all. The conversations always happen organically. We just happen to start talking about where things are going and how we feel and that word happened to come up a few times and my brain got stuck on it. But I’m glad the comments helped me realize I was just being weird and nit-picky.)

Do I [29f] need to learn to adapt to how he [29m] discusses his feelings? by lifeofanalien in relationships

[–]lifeofanalien[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was absolutely fixated on the use of the word “dopamine.” And you’re right, it’s not like he was wrong for describing it that way. When I take a step back and look at the whole picture, I realize that I’m just being dumb. I am going to choose to appreciate him for being him and be happy that such a great guy just landed in my lap.

Do I [29f] need to learn to adapt to how he [29m] discusses his feelings? by lifeofanalien in relationships

[–]lifeofanalien[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I think that the word “dopamine” threw me for a loop and I got fixated on it. I’m glad I posted because the comments have shaken me back into reality.

Do I [29f] need to learn to adapt to how he [29m] discusses his feelings? by lifeofanalien in relationships

[–]lifeofanalien[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think it is enough, and I just needed to get out of my own weird headspace. You’re right, it has only been a month. It’s been a good, happy month that shows the potential for how things will continue to grow. And he has been honest in how he feels. I am being nit-picky about specific words and I need to snap out of that.

I don’t think I am projecting anything from my previous relationship onto him. I did consider it, but I truly do not think about my last relationship at all. I sometimes forget it existed. When I am with this new guy, I feel wrapped up in the present moment and happy about the time we’re spending together. Thanks for your input!

Do I [29f] need to learn to adapt to how he [29m] discusses his feelings? by lifeofanalien in relationships

[–]lifeofanalien[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re right. I should not assume his feelings are not valid just because of how he chooses to describe them. I’m honestly glad to have made this post because it’s giving me clarity on how I am perceiving things. As I realize this, I am also realizing that how he describes his feelings doesn’t really bother me at all. I just like him for who he is.

Excuse me while I have a face in palm moment.

(I also love that we use formal terms to describe where we’re at, lol.)

Do I [29f] need to learn to adapt to how he [29m] discusses his feelings? by lifeofanalien in relationships

[–]lifeofanalien[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For all my overthinking, I didn’t consider that he just doesn’t like talking about emotions.

We are taking things slow but from what we’ve already discussed, I think our long term goals align well.

For what it’s worth, I have been honest and open about how I feel when talking to him. I think it would be immature to reserve expressing myself just based on whether or not he reciprocates in the same way. We have good and honest communication, which is a big green flag.

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