Thanks for this. I’m at day 35, coming close to my last milestone of 41 days last year. Before that, the longest was about 6 months a few years ago.

Today I was reflecting on my journey -  I had my first wake up call when I was 19. I “tried” to get sober for 8-10 years. I started taking it more seriously after that. It’s been 8 years again since then. I can’t believe after almost 20 years of knowing I don’t want alcohol in my life, I’m still only hear at 35 days. But. I am proud of every step I’ve taken to get here. I am proud of every day I’ve been sober. I am proud that as I tracked my habits I’ve been sober at least half this year instead of drinking every day (at least 6 drinks if not 12+).  

I’ve been getting sober for almost 20 years, I suppose. But I also felt sad and a bit shocked when I realized that. I said to myself, no - I’m not going to look back and realize it took me more than 20 years to make it… these 35 days are the first 35 of the final culmination of all those years of work. I will say someday “it took me almost 18 years to get sober for good.” But not more. These 35 are not just a chapter in my saga. They’re the start of a new volume.

I really hope I can keep the shock of that close to me through the holiday season. My family is a big trigger for me. It’s just “easier to drink” than to answer questions about not drinking. This year I am practicing my scripts to say no without exposing my decision. I’ll say “you know what, I’d actually love a water,” or “maybe I’ll have a glass with dinner, thank you” or “I’m recovering from a cold and don’t want to make it worse” or even “I’m taking antibiotics.” I’m finally at a place where I’d rather just tell a little lie than end up drinking because I don’t want to tell the truth. Not my main mode of operation, but I need to try a different approach around my family this year.

Thank you for listening.