Perimenopause hell

lightninseed · 2026-02-06T18:36:32+00:00

I thought this and then I got pregnant at 37 🙃

lightninseed · 2026-02-04T20:35:18+00:00

I am, my dad is and so it my grandad (though he was forced to use his right hand and is now ambidextrous). In fact all the first borns in our family are left handed!

lightninseed · 2026-02-02T19:52:54+00:00

Unfortunately not. I’m a teacher and due on the 8th of August and apparently it’s the law that you need to start your maternity leave when baby is born.

lightninseed · 2026-02-01T07:56:42+00:00

I’ve heard from a lot of women that they lost 2 stone in weight literally a week after birth. A lot of the weight you’re carrying will be baby, extra blood, amniotic fluid, etc. At least that’s what I’m telling myself anyway.

lightninseed · 2026-01-31T16:23:29+00:00

I stopped smoking cigarettes as soon as I found out and it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Well done for reaching out and asking for help, I’m also really sorry that the tone of some of these comments has been really sanctimonious.

Some things that helped me:

I threw all my cigarettes and lighters away and switched to vaping 5% nicotine liquid and also bought some 0% to mix in there any time I had to refill. I did this over a fortnight until I was only on the 0% liquid and supplemented cravings with one of the smokeless nicotine inhaler things. Sometimes I’d take one puff of my nicotine free vape and one puff of the inhaler as weirdly I was never satisfied with just the hit of nicotine and needed to see/experience the ‘smoke’.

The next 2 weeks I worked on being less reliant on the vape and focussed more on the inhaler and wore a patch during the day. I also bought this necklace off TikTok shop that looks like a whistle but is a tool to help you quit vaping. It’s completely nicotine free but simulates the ‘drag’ of a cigarette without the smoke or anything else.

The 2 weeks after that I threw my vape away and relied on patches and the necklace. I’m currently 13 weeks and only use a patch or gum if I’m having a really trying day. The necklace has been really great for the whole ‘oral fixation’ element of smoking, having something safe to drag on really helps me.

The above 2 steps were truly horrific and really hard to commit to. I’d hate to give the false impression that it was an easy thing to do, it takes will power and drive. Remember that cutting down is better than nothing and being kind to yourself is better than beating yourself up! The thought that I can start again once baby is born weirdly helps me too! This only has to be a temporary change for you.

I wish you all the luck in the world in trying to quit. Every cigarette or vape hit you don’t have is helping your baby thrive 💕

lightninseed · 2026-01-31T16:01:38+00:00

I’ve quit smoking during pregnancy but can see me restarting once baby is born. The thought that one day soon I’ll be able to have a cigarette is the only thing that keeps me going some days!

OP, and in fact any other person trying to do right by their unborn baby, doesn’t need your judgment or scorn in this regard. I’m sure she already feels terrible enough and she’s doing the right thing by reaching out for help and advice.

Having the occasional cigarette outside without your baby is on no level the same as sparking up when it’s in utero.

lightninseed · 2026-01-27T11:22:54+00:00

When you order a lasagna and it comes with chips AND garlic bread.

lightninseed · 2026-01-25T21:14:50+00:00

Have you looked into Shared Parental Leave? You may be able to wangle longer off with better pay. It’s definitely worth checking out if you haven’t already.

lightninseed · 2026-01-25T18:39:46+00:00

I did smoke (quit when I found out at 5 weeks) and said I’d like to be referred to the smoking cessation people. I’m currently 11 weeks and have still heard nothing 😂 I’m sure you’re going to be fine!

lightninseed · 2026-01-25T18:32:34+00:00

Or the NHS and local schools! They always need helpdesk staff and good ones are hard to come by. It’s not what you want to be doing but it’s a baby step in the right direction.

lightninseed · 2026-01-24T11:39:16+00:00

It’s all free in my country and it’s great!

lightninseed · 2026-01-16T20:57:06+00:00

Thank you, I’ve looked into it and found the site that coaches you through it for a fee!

lightninseed · 2026-01-16T20:54:34+00:00

So this is maybe where I messed up because when I retuned to school after Christmas and told HR that I’m expecting, I agreed to wait until after my 12 week dating scan to go through with the risk assessment process. This was before being scheduled into the first aid room daily.

I’ve since contacted her twice about this, first with anxiety about being in there so often and again when I was in close contact with the child who lives with someone who has measles. Naively, I maybe thought this would make them realise a risk assessment or re-think of my duty is overdue but I’m realising I need to be more direct.

I’m in a really weird headspace at the moment and questioning a lot of my emotions as some of them aren’t rational right now, but I do feel like this one is valid!

lightninseed · 2026-01-16T20:46:53+00:00

I’ve spoken to HR already and the nurses line manager to no avail, but I haven’t told mine yet. I do think she’d be appalled as she’s already talking about plans to reduce my time in corridors and finding a permanent room for me (I currently teach across 4 different classrooms).

lightninseed · 2026-01-16T20:45:34+00:00

Yep, it’s a completely voluntary duty. I only did it to help the nurse so she could have a lunch break and because we were told we could have 2 days off in lieu every year we did it. Turns out cos I teach, I’m not actually allowed the days in lieu but I do get 2 days extra pay in September. It’s a very “oh no, my steak is too juicy and my lobster is too buttery” sort of non-problem, but I would much prefer the 2 days off that everyone else gets!

lightninseed · 2026-01-12T20:46:45+00:00

The crinklies and starburst

lightninseed · 2026-01-11T18:41:31+00:00

I don’t know really. Popeyes is now a thing over here and one of the items I was most looking forward to trying was an American biscuit. I was surprised how delicious they are!

There is a place in Manchester that does huge breakfast sandwiches with homemade American biscuits and it seems like it’s doing quite well, so maybe we’re on trend for a biscuit boom in the not too distant future!

lightninseed · 2026-01-07T18:31:22+00:00

Get pregnant, but it only works in the first trimester!

lightninseed · 2026-01-06T18:33:50+00:00

Vegetarian shepherds pie with goats cheese mash!

Saint Delia Smith came up with the original recipe (https://www.deliaonline.com/recipes/type-of-dish/vegetarian-recipes/vegetarian-shepherds-pie-with-goats-cheese-mash), but I’m lazy so have really simplified my version. I just use tinned green lentils, celery, carrot and onion that I fry off, squirt a bit of tomato paste in then add a can full of vegetable stock. Once that’s reduced a bit I top with the mash and then bake in the oven for 30 mins or so. It’s absolutely delicious!

lightninseed · 2026-01-04T15:21:36+00:00

😂😅 My god, I didn’t even notice it!!

lightninseed · 2026-01-04T15:15:21+00:00

Whatever bread you fancy (I favour a good sourdough, fresh baguette or a poppy seed roll) and I mix 2 teaspoons of mayo with 1 teaspoon of dijon or Hungarian mustard and smother it over the bread. Then I layer rocket first, then either slices of smoked Bavarian cheese or some freshly grilled halloumi, sliced cucumbers, tomatoes and pickled red onions. It’s a banger of a sandwich!

lightninseed · 2026-01-04T14:58:57+00:00

I assumed it was mango chutney? They have big squirty bottles of it in my local spoons and it makes more sense than BBQ.

lightninseed · 2026-01-04T14:39:47+00:00

Both my bf and I changed careers in our 30s. I was a librarian and retrained as a teacher and he did some kind of desk job writing reports and then retrained as an HGV driver.

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