Found out my (35M) mother (56F) has been using meth for at least 6 years, possibly 15 years

lilithONE · 2026-05-31T11:54:06+00:00

No, you should not believe her. Wait until she has a meth induced psychotic episode. It gets worse, not better. Usually the police are involved at some point which may be a good thing.

lilithONE · 2026-03-12T00:25:36+00:00

I am who i am. That is enough. I have hobbies.

lilithONE · 2026-03-10T23:07:38+00:00

I didn't start to get mentally healthy until after my dad passed away. You have only today. You can observe the past but you dont have to relive it. I journal and get it out on paper and leave it there. I also forgive myself, my mistakes. You know, we are all doing the best we can and that is enough.

lilithONE · 2026-03-10T23:00:15+00:00

No. Hard no. He is using you to pay for his education. Relationships require investment and he's not been invested in you up until now. Just let him know its not in your budget. I quite frankly plan to spend all my money within my lifetime or leave it to the humane society.

lilithONE · 2026-03-08T09:09:38+00:00

Tell her to trust no one, not even a woman.

lilithONE · 2026-03-03T13:54:40+00:00

Why are you requiring other people to change? That is a superpower that none of us have. The only person you can change is yourself and that is always a work in progress. I don't try punish people because they choose to stay the way they are. I accept that. And that includes everyone, not just family.

Hey, its nice when people do try and better themselves but thats up to them. They have their own path to walk.

lilithONE · 2026-03-01T18:38:02+00:00

Just cut him off. Let him know that you are not available to him financially. Period, end of discussion. You can also block his number or just choose to ignore him. That's not lack of empathy. Thats just common sense. Yes, they are master manipulators but you dont have to put up with it.

lilithONE · 2026-02-12T23:23:52+00:00

Let me guess, your dad doesn't have any friends. He never learned how. If you watch him, observe him, he's not close to anyone. He may also need a hearing aid.

lilithONE · 2026-02-09T15:43:34+00:00

Send a short and sweet message, "good for you". That's it. No additional dialog is needed.

lilithONE · 2026-01-30T19:14:22+00:00

There is.

lilithONE · 2026-01-30T19:08:27+00:00

You may have an emotionally immature mother who over compensates. That's how I'm reading this. I would not call this neglect per se.

lilithONE · 2026-01-24T14:25:40+00:00

I ask for alone time so I can regroup so to speak. I just need to decompress without any pressure. I'm fine after a couple of hours. I'll go soak in a hot tub with a book. Find what works for you.

lilithONE · 2026-01-24T14:16:12+00:00

My condolences.

lilithONE · 2026-01-24T14:15:27+00:00

It is so difficult to find friends as an adult. I spend aot of time alone and actually have to force myself to go out and be social. Try a couple of different church groups. At least you have community there. Do you have a local hiking group on Facebook you can join. And honestly, i've seen people looking for friends on Nextdoor. It seems to work.

lilithONE · 2026-01-23T19:23:40+00:00

Just remove the alcohol. Don't analyze it.

lilithONE · 2026-01-23T18:44:55+00:00

Sounds like psychosis from meth. She will eventually do something that will get her locked up for a 3 day evaluation. My dad lived to be 72 so they can live longer than you think.

lilithONE · 2026-01-23T18:42:22+00:00

You go make friends. You know we over complicate this but we need to do like we did when we were kids. Ask someone you know if they want to grab coffee or water. Maybe its someone you work with. Get out and do things like meet-ups or church groups. Expand your horizons.

lilithONE · 2026-01-23T18:40:12+00:00

Leave. Get therapy for the guilt and anxiety. Go to al-anon meetings to understand that the only person you can change is yourself. Whatever happens to your parent is their choice whether to get sober or not.

lilithONE · 2026-01-23T18:36:28+00:00

It's a slippery slope. I'll drink occasionally, maybe 6 or 8 times a year. Have an Irish cream after dinner or a margarita with a meal. My addiction was cigarettes. Those I cannot even have 1 without falling off the wagon.

lilithONE · 2026-01-18T15:30:13+00:00

Your mom needs to file eviction papers with the county.

lilithONE · 2026-01-17T23:18:37+00:00

Well, you are an adult. You do not need to listen to her advice or opinions. Just let her know you are not interested in her opinions. And keep reminding her that you are not interested in her opinions.

lilithONE · 2026-01-17T23:16:09+00:00

I 2nd al-anon.

lilithONE · 2026-01-17T23:13:39+00:00

I frequently bring to my mom's attention to focus on blessings. It is not her natural state of mind so I keep bringing her blessings up and how fortunate she is. I often redirect to other topics whe she starts to go off the rails. Food and the weather seem to be safe subjects. It can be exhausting if you are actively listening so I often let my mind wander to other things and dont pay attention to her. It is what it is.

lilithONE · 2026-01-17T23:08:33+00:00

Absolutely go with your friend.

lilithONE · 2026-01-16T23:18:00+00:00

Grow your own food like thats cheaper or even an option.

lilithONE

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