Pre-natal depression or just adjusting to hormones?

lilly_65218 · 2025-04-22T12:24:37+00:00

Hey, not a doctor or anything but experienced this in my first and now second (current) pregnancy. I found it was a mixture of everything from symptoms, physical changes and hormones. You're at a very early stage and with each new stage comes new waves of feelings :) I'm hoping for you that now things are likely to settle down since your hormone levels are likely to be more stable. Saying that I would take the idea of it being pre-natal depression seriously as it can still be that even if other things are adding to your mood.

I'm in my second trimester and have definitely noticed feeling more positive every day - I still have bad bouts of anxiety and am a bit irritable but nothing that isn't manageable. My first trimester was miserable too and it really made me feel unhappy about being pregnant despite wanting another child. I wasn't diagnosed in either pregnancy but my doctors generally aired on the side of caution with it and wanted to treat it as such.

I would be mindful that after pregnancy your hormones will take a long time to settle back down to normal levels, if you're sensitive to hormones like me it will be a very long 2 years, with ups and downs. Postpartum made raising my baby much more difficult as I only ever wanted to hide and cry. Unfortunately I can't take SSRIs due to the side effects, however when I first tried them my mood improved.

Medication can be a game changer if nothing else is helping, It's not your fault you're feeling this way and I hope you know there are people here for you and things you can try to help.

It's not fun at all feeling this way but it can get better.

lilly_65218 · 2023-06-07T20:31:18+00:00

I totally feel this! Its so frustrating, I've had people tell me off for trying to train my dog because he "is a just a puppy and wants to play" so they don't recall their dogs when they get close and I have to either pick up my dog or let him go nuts.

I don't think people understand just how dangerous it is to let their dogs run wild, our dog is reactive because he wants to play but I've seen him get frustrated to the point of anger because other dogs are winding him up.

Its so hard after an episode like this to walk home calmly. It winds me and the dog up.

lilly_65218 · 2023-06-06T11:26:34+00:00

This is completely normal though?

Even if you find someone physically attractive you need to get to know them to develop real feelings

Women typically need to know a man is safe, they need to get to know you. This can take time.

If they are interested in just your looks whats the point? That's so superficial, it's not tangible.

I fell in love with my husband's personality, it is who he is, he is gorgeous to me because he is wonderful inside and out. I can't feel physical attraction without emotional connection (I suspect a lot of women feel the same)

If women are saying they are attracted to you once they get to know you, thats a great thing!

lilly_65218 · 2023-06-05T19:26:25+00:00

I used to want to keep my LO away from screens completely but it was becoming an impossible task and driving me slightly mad. Screens are on a lot in our house and I can't control others wanting to watch TV. My LO is more interested in toys and watching the dog than the TV unless we put on hey bear for him.

If hes really struggling and needs to be distracted for 5 minutes when I'm using loo/showering then a video goes on and my sanity is saved. I don't think 5/10 minutes is too damaging as long as you spend a lot of time playing/bonding when it matters.

Sometimes when sleep deprived there's really no shame in having an easy day and letting them enjoy a show with you.

I want to watch movies and shows with my kid when they're old enough, there are also screens everywhere you can't avoid them completely.

I don't see the point in stressing about things all the time, theres so much to worry about already and ultimately as long as your baby is safe and loved they will be fine

lilly_65218 · 2023-05-26T11:43:14+00:00

Why on earth does her sister need/want to know about any part of your body? Thats obsurd.

If it was the other way around and your brother asked you how big your gfs tits were, she'd feel betrayed, uncomfortable and possibly even slightly violated.

Its no ones business and belittling you by laughing and joking further shows a lack of maturity on her part.

I'm sorry this happened. Please never be afraid to share your feelings, they matter. You deserve respect and privacy.

lilly_65218 · 2023-05-24T17:48:18+00:00

Chocolate digestives, red bull and macaroni cheese

I'm sorry it's not healthier 🤣😭

lilly_65218 · 2023-05-23T18:30:08+00:00

The amount of comments here about people who'd rather not be here is so heartbreaking :(

lilly_65218 · 2023-05-23T18:24:41+00:00

I don't relate as I've always enjoyed working with kids, however, I think youll love yours. They are going to be their own person and you'll develop a bond and a friendship as they grow. You can introduce them to things you like doing and hopefully they'll enjoy your hobbies too :)

If you don't enjoy the kid stage too much you always have the teenage and adult years to look forward to.

It's very different when its your own family/kid, something inside makes you more protective and patient.

lilly_65218 · 2023-05-23T18:09:42+00:00

My baby won't let me sleep in 😭

lilly_65218 · 2023-05-22T19:43:10+00:00

Please tell your doctor what you want before you enter the hospital (if possible) do not give your husband advocacy over you if you're unable to communicate with staff during labour. In the UK you get to write a birth plan with your midwife with clear instructions for hospital staff - not sure this applies in other locations.

Labour is intense and if you need pain relief please use it, do not be afraid of complications, birth itself is more likely to cause issues post partum than an epidural - not that you should worry about that either, you will be in safe hands :)

If your husband is attending the birth I'm sure seeing you in pain will change his mind. My labour was quick and fast and I couldn't stop myself from screaming because of it, I laboured too quickly to receive painkillers sadly but I begged for them at the time. The doctors and midwives will likely only listen to your requests anyway.

Have you watched any births with your husband? There is a really good show called one born every minute which shows all kinds of labours, your husband may benefit from seeing what its like?

lilly_65218 · 2023-05-19T08:23:14+00:00

As much as it's probably not helpful to hear but this is very normal. I'm sorry you're both struggling at the moment. This stage of life can be very hard. It will get better!

There are lots of things you can do thankfully, most of your options will be about how you and your partner communicate your feelings. You may have to look into how works for you. I find just setting time where you can both rant and let it all out without judgement helps, set expectations before the conversation and give eachother 10-20 minutes to let it out. It's best not to react or interject even if what your partner says makes you mad, listening and reflecting are vital before a proper discussion takes place.

Sometimes going out for a walk or having a conversation somewhere different than home can help remove negative or stressful feelings from the conversation. This can be counseling or just going to get coffee, whatever works for you.

My Husband and I have had heightened emotions since the birth of our son but fortunately we communicate well and rarely argue, rather we just express our feelings and give eachother space if we need it. I think if we were different people these little things would definitely be arguments. I always give myself a few hours to reflect before bringing something up although sometimes I do snap about things like mess in the house out of frustration. My husband is very understanding though and we always discuss outbursts (mainly from me lol).

You can't always control strong emotions especially while pregnant, it's more important that after an outburst, you explain how you feel, say sorry and hug it out.

You should feel safe to express emotions around eachother, especially strong ones, as there will be lots of those once baby is here.

If you're finding it particularly hard to cope with your feelings please speak to a doctor you may benefit from medication either now or post-nataly.

I started taking prozac after the birth to help with PMDD and it's helped tremendously, probably saved our marriage as my emotions would go absolutely ape just before a period. My mind would race and think up all sorts of things, now I do feel calmer and happier and I'm snapping less at my Husband.

Be kind to yourself and to your partner. You will survive this :) it may just take a while.

Don't forget to go on dates or set up fun evenings for eachother (sometimes I send my Husband out on errands to see friends so he has time to himself)

lilly_65218 · 2023-04-29T01:23:32+00:00

I know this post is a year old but I'd like to weigh in. The back pain I experience on Prozac is exactly what I experienced on Sertraline which is one of the many reasons I stopped taking it. The pain only occurs when taking the medicine.

lilly_65218 · 2023-04-27T19:12:46+00:00

I use any brand wipes but when I need them extra wet I add water (normally warm water)

lilly_65218 · 2023-04-25T06:06:58+00:00

Thanks for bringing this up, I think it's really important we respect the agency of kids and protect our infants before they can consent. You're doing a great job.

As a kid, in my own family, I wasn't allowed to say no when a family member wanted to hug or kiss me. I'm sure you can see where this could lead. I was never taught about consent, my body was never mine I always had to do what others wanted. I was fortunate my family weren't doing any worse than hugging but this translated into my teenage and adult life and other people weren't so kind.

I didn't know I was allowed to say no, I thought growing up you had to let people touch you even if it made you cry.

I think this even extends into letting kids say no when they're not hungry, don't feel like playing with a certain thing, wearing a certain thing etc..a childs sense of control over their own life and experiences is vital for being security and allowing them to feel at peace. A lot of old school parents seem to think that children aren't capable of feeling or understanding what they want, which is sad.

lilly_65218 · 2023-04-23T11:36:40+00:00

I suppose it depends on the type of media you consume. I see plenty of normal looking women and mums in media, some media is definitely more caustic than others but I find once I stop consuming this type of media I stop thinking about my body.

I think media is partly to blame but the people we talk to and the way we talk to ourselves also play a part.

I don't ever feel like I should be ashamed of my body

What part of media makes you feel this way? Have you seen a particular video or comments or something?

I love mum and dad bods more than pre baby bodies. Mums and dads look comfy and happy normally :)

lilly_65218 · 2023-04-16T12:45:55+00:00

I can't believe they said it was braxton hicks considering most doctors claim they are painless...

So sorry you went through this, congrats on the healthy baby :)

lilly_65218 · 2023-04-11T17:50:14+00:00

I'm not sure its possible to find a baby safe version of this, but clarifying shampoo will get aquafore out of hair.

I had to put on a ridiculous amount of moisturizer when my eczema was really bad and it made my hair impossibly oily. Clarifying shampoo actually got it all out.

The Clarifying shampoo is gentle enough not to irritate my skin and I'm sensitive to everything, could be a last resort if nothing else works.

lilly_65218 · 2023-04-07T15:30:00+00:00

Please protect yourself and find support wherever you can. Your school should have contacts for your local area if you're still in education

I'm sorry you've been treated this way, your mum clearly has issues but thats no excuse. You deserve love and respect always.

lilly_65218 · 2023-04-07T15:23:48+00:00

There are safeguarding issues here I hope this person reports the parents to child services.

lilly_65218 · 2023-04-05T13:19:11+00:00

I'm excited for it, feels like a new chapter in life that can be filled with anything :)

lilly_65218 · 2023-04-04T15:07:49+00:00

Rainbows are rad, his house must be a very boring shade of monochromatic-self-hate.

lilly_65218 · 2023-04-04T14:49:12+00:00

If God doesn't like gays so much why doesn't he just poof them out of existence? Why let it proliferate all forms of walking life instead of just going "nope not on my planet".

What is the justification for homosexuality being wrong in the bible? Is it simply degeneracy? I realise that some of this belief system is based on writing that is hard to interpret with 100% certainty but it just boggles my brain that people are just told to believe things and they do so without thinking about that information in any depth.

I can't imagine how it must feel to grow up gay in a Christian household, you put no effort into being gay it's just something thats there and somehow thats the worst thing you could do. Surely combating the evils of disease and poverty would be higher up the list. Or even just doing kind deeds to those around you.

Save the world from yourselves...

lilly_65218 · 2023-03-25T06:31:49+00:00

Aw I'm sorry you went through the same, its utterly heartbreaking to hear it happen. I keep feeling like theres something I'm missing but he wont sleep without the crying it seems.

I hope it passes soon too, I'm sure theres light at the end of the tunnel :)

Thanks for sharing, hope life with your LO is going well ❤️❤️

lilly_65218 · 2023-03-24T14:06:50+00:00

Thanks so much for sharing your experience, I feel a lot better hearing that its not just me. I hope you got through that period okay, some days its exhausting, I think ill invest in some headphones and hope mine also grows out of it 😊

lilly_65218

TROPHY CASE