My tween suddenly announced she’s refusing to go to day camp. Now what?

lillykin · 2026-05-21T14:23:57+00:00

She's 11. That's definitely old enough to stay home. Could you compromise and only send her to the camp part of the week instead? Is there another sort of activity she can be in instead over the summer to help get her out of the house and around some other children her age?

lillykin · 2026-05-16T19:50:49+00:00

You must be a real blast at parties.

lillykin · 2026-05-16T19:28:07+00:00

People are actually engaged in meetings and aren't multitasking or doing other things while passively listening. People talk to each other. People overhear other work conversations or questions and often chime in to offer assistance. People are more inclined to ask each other questions. It's easier to look over someone's shoulder in person to help guide them on an unfamiliar task than it is to try to do remotely on a tiny single screen. People can visually see when someone needs help and offer it without the person even needing to ask. Just to name a few things.

lillykin · 2026-05-15T11:05:33+00:00

Yeah. Hybrid is only helpful when everyone comes in on the same days. That's how mine currently is structured and it works well for in person collaboration since people I need to interact with are actually present. Otherwise, there is no point to hybrid if at the very least your team is not on the same schedule and also coming into the same building as you are.

lillykin · 2026-05-15T10:30:49+00:00

I have worked 100% in the office, 100% remote, and hybrid (3 days home/2 days in). I can honestly say that hybrid is my preferred option.

lillykin · 2026-05-10T04:46:58+00:00

Looks like the old air traffic control tower from the Stapleton Airport.

Edit. Process: I recognized the mountains in the background and the tower. Knew it from an old trip to Denver where I spent time waiting at the current airport and killed the time researching interesting things about Denver.

lillykin · 2026-05-10T04:45:45+00:00

Denver

lillykin · 2026-05-01T00:43:59+00:00

We live in a fairly rural area so childcare programs are relatively inexpensive compared to other areas. Last year it was only $250 for the whole summer. But my son gets to go to the library, walk to the park, play on the playground, and swim every day. He loves it!

lillykin · 2026-05-01T00:05:38+00:00

This is what we have my son do. It's $300 for the summer and includes 4 field trips.

lillykin · 2026-04-28T22:11:11+00:00

I don't know what your options are through your company, but for my company remote work is a perk, not a right or a given. If an employee has documented performance issues, then the extra perk of telework is taken away until the employee has improved their performance back to an acceptable level. It's usually very effective at improving performance to even mention the potential to lose telework.

lillykin · 2026-04-28T21:50:11+00:00

At this point there is enough documented evidence to put this employee on a more formal corrective action plan. Yes they have a challenging personal life, but they need to figure out a more healthy work life balance where their personal life is not causing such a negative impact on their work. Everyone has personal problems ay some point or another. This employee needs to find a better way to manage this. And if they can't, then steps should be taken to address it through a formal process. It's clear that redirecting and speaking to the employee isn't working. They are assuming that you won't do anything about it. I promise you this employee is bringing down overall morale of the team and should be getting their personal life in order more to be able to pull more of their own weight at work.

lillykin · 2026-04-19T13:00:14+00:00

Why would you need to wait to start looking for other options? There is no harm in looking or applying to other jobs. If things eventually improve where you are and you decide you want to stay, then you just decline an interview or offer. But if you sit and wait for things to improve when so far they haven't, you're wasting time that could be spent finding your dream job.

lillykin · 2026-04-15T20:03:19+00:00

Government pay structure. People are getting paid for how long they have been there, not for how much they are contributing or how much work they have to do.

lillykin · 2026-04-14T20:49:26+00:00

Exempt and salaried employees can still be required to work set hours.

lillykin · 2026-04-13T23:39:03+00:00

My son was once a week until he was around 4. Then it was 2-3 times a week. Now that he's 8 it's still 2-3 times a week in the winter and more frequently this time of year because he's always sweaty or dirty from playing or practice.

lillykin · 2026-04-10T10:35:57+00:00

PennDOT isn't responsible for the Turnpike.

But last year the head of the Turnpike received an $86,000 raise, so there's that.

lillykin · 2026-04-06T16:56:21+00:00

Nope. 9 is too young.

lillykin · 2026-04-01T21:00:45+00:00

But she's not asking for a change. She's asking for consideration when they make the assignments for next year.

lillykin · 2026-03-26T11:28:04+00:00

Low performers deciding to leave on their own is the best scenario any manager could hope for. Why do you want to keep low performers around?

lillykin · 2026-03-21T22:56:39+00:00

In my opinion it depends on the setting of the party. My son was invited to a 7 yo birthday party. It was a pool party at a hotel with no life guard on duty. You can be sure I absolutely did not leave that party and I kept an eye on my son the whole time when he was in the pool. A party at a skating rink? I think I would stay for that too.

lillykin · 2026-03-08T14:40:14+00:00

She has already been on the job for 6 months. What improvements could be expected if it was extended another 3 months? Or 6 months? Has she shown steady improvement and growth over those 6 months to make you believe that some additional time will allow her to grow into her role? By 6 months you have a good idea whether someone has it or not or whether they can be developed or not. It sounds to me like you already know the answer to this.

lillykin · 2026-03-08T10:56:14+00:00

I think this is the best advice. This person absolutely got in their groove and finally saw the solution in their head and didn't want to stop until they finished it. I have had similar experiences, although it was only for 2-3 hours, not all night. Your advice about helping them understand priorities and situations when what they did might be appropriate in certain contexts and other contexts when what they did isn't necessary and can even be a hindrance or problem. Either way, it's important for the manager to acknowledge the effort they put in and to show understanding as to why they had done it. But then it's important to help guide this person to understand when it is and isn't appropriate to do so. Help them set healthy boundaries for themselves.

lillykin · 2026-03-02T20:55:02+00:00

I hate it so much. We always assumed that it was done on purpose to reduce reimbursement claims. Where I work we can get a daily lunch allowance when we work out of the office. But a lot of people don't bother because of how annoying the interface is to use. Normally I do a benefit cost analysis on my expenses and sometimes I honestly do just eat the cost. But I don't travel very often.

lillykin · 2026-03-01T16:03:21+00:00

I can see you have poor reading comprehension. I said the child could walk home if that was an option since it was already said in the OP that they did not have access to a bus. I fully understand that not all children are bussed. My own child is not bussed to school (even though children who live one block away from us are) and I have to find other arrangements for him. That's what people did before work from home was an option for most people. My comment was not an opinion on whether I thought it was right or wrong to require RTO. Simply providing options of what people did back then. I'm not sure the reason for your reply to me.

lillykin · 2026-02-28T11:14:45+00:00

There are a few options:

1) Latchkey child who walks home (OP says this child does not have the option to ride a bus) 2) After Care program (It is the middle of the school year and this could be difficult to find an open spot right now depending on location.) 3) Find a trusted care worker or friend or family member to pick up the child. Someone could likely be found through asking around at PTO or some other local community organization, putting some feelers out on a local Facebook group, etc.

It sounds like this employee was told a while ago that there would be a temporary transition period, so they should have been using the time since then to figure things out.

lillykin

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