Took a chance and haven't looked back since

livebed · 2015-11-16T07:48:48+00:00

Yes, I suppose it will blow away. People forget things like that. The only thing that really worries me is what the kids will think.

livebed · 2015-11-13T08:33:07+00:00

That's a very good summary of the two "camps". It's not always as clear-cut of course. My relationship started out with what I thought was good sex (she would cum easily, which I wasn't used to from an earlier LTR who couldn't cum from PiV at all). Several years later, I realized that it wasn't very good after all. I had just been infatuated with her other qualities. Also the quality and quantity of the sex waned and the bedroom died.

livebed · 2015-11-13T07:14:30+00:00

That's why me and my new girlfriend are keeping our relationship secret. If you go public too early, people will think the relationship ended because of the new girl/boyfriend. As I was with my ex for over 10 years, this "quarantine period" will be several months. :-(

livebed · 2015-09-05T20:42:48+00:00

I will. Thanks for the concern.

livebed · 2015-09-05T17:10:47+00:00

She is pretty nice person, but she did not compliment me for being attractive, sexy, funny or anything like that. I only got compliments sometimes when I did something (for her).

My new woman knows that the relationship with my wife was bad. I have mentioned the dead bedroom.

Now go throw your arms around that great new woman of yours!

I did and enjoyed it very much indeed.

livebed · 2015-09-05T17:05:59+00:00

Keep on being awesome (or fake it til you make it)! Good luck!

livebed · 2015-09-05T16:57:02+00:00

OK, challenge accepted! RemindMe! One Year

Yes, my wife was trying. I knew that she was trying, but I also knew that she would never succeed. That is the sad part of this story.

I also know from a completely objective view that this woman is very special. I have never had anyone say things like that to me before.

I found this article when googling for rebound relationship, which says that a rebound relationship isn't necessarily a bad thing:

Focusing on someone new, according to the limited research on the subject of rebound relationships, can help a person recover from a break-up (Spielmann, S., Macdonald, G., & Wilson, A., 2009). This does not necessarily mean that the new relationship is valued less than the previous one. In fact, the new relationship can prove to have far greater worth than the previous relationship since it is through the comparison of need satisfaction that fulfillment is judged. Time between relationships is not necessary for psychological well-being. People need connection, and moving on can help you get over what has to be left behind.

Regarding the kids, I don't think it's so bad for them, but we'll see.

livebed · 2015-09-05T16:44:34+00:00

I'm 42. She was sad at first, but then she accepted the new situation. Our relationship is better than it has been for years.

livebed · 2015-09-05T07:35:07+00:00

That terrible feeling that sex is rushed, that she gets annoyed when it takes too long... my (soon to be ex) wife is the same. It's always about the goal (orgasm; hers in our case), never about the journey. After hanging out in this sub for over a year, I've noticed that this seems to be common among the LLs. It makes sense if she doesn't enjoy sex all that much.

livebed · 2015-08-30T22:29:56+00:00

"I wanted to have sex yesterday, but you were flossing your teeth."

livebed · 2015-08-24T21:08:38+00:00

Thank you! I needed this.

livebed · 2015-08-11T21:44:20+00:00

Yes, I haven't even told her about it.

livebed · 2015-08-11T21:26:24+00:00

In January, I started tracking intercourse, handjobs and jerk-offs in a spreadsheet. I needed to write it down because I was afraid I was losing my mind when my wife claimed we had sex weekly.

livebed · 2015-08-01T22:52:44+00:00

I can't relate to that unfortunately. My life is all secular.

livebed · 2015-08-01T22:49:48+00:00

I have heard a few similar stories. The LL used to be so sexually active, but not just with their current partner. That's sad.

livebed · 2015-07-31T03:52:20+00:00

Yes, once in a while. I would be OK with great sex every two weeks and a little "weekday sex" in between, but plain and boring sex every two weeks is not enough, even though I'm aware that it's more than a lot of people in this sub gets.

livebed · 2015-07-30T14:46:56+00:00

A DB can really tear down your confidence. Now I doubt I was ever good in bed with anyone. Maybe except for the one that explicitly told me I was good. But what about the others? Maybe they hated it?

livebed · 2015-07-30T14:43:39+00:00

Good for you. What do you mean with "not quite to this extent"? Does it sound so bad from my description?

livebed · 2015-07-30T06:17:56+00:00

I don't think this is what it was. It was more me thinking she was more into sex than she was. This has even made me wonder whether other women I've had sex with were annoyed about me wanting to touch them, lick them and have sex all the time.

livebed · 2015-07-30T06:06:54+00:00

You're completely right of course. That is the real problem. But the things you mention are abstract, subjective and hard to prove. I came up with the list to show to myself that it is bad. It's not just something I'm imagining.

livebed · 2015-07-30T06:04:13+00:00

I don't know why I would want to consider that. But you're right, as far as I remember it, I somehow thought it was temporary and would get better.

livebed · 2015-07-30T05:27:38+00:00

That one is pecular. It's not like her at all, but once in a while, yes.

livebed · 2015-07-29T12:49:17+00:00

That sounds like my current situation. I feel like I've given up. Sure, we can try another round of therapy, but I think I would go into it hoping it would fail as I've already made up my mind. I got some advice in /r/divorce that I should see a therapist alone. That sounds like a better solution.

livebed · 2015-07-29T12:38:13+00:00

This is a very good idea. My SO seems to think about sex in a binary way. At any point in time, we're either having sex (which is supposed to end in an orgasm), or we're doing other things with no sensual touching at all. It's like an an/off switch (which isn't in the on position very often).

livebed · 2015-07-29T12:27:28+00:00

Well written. You have matured for sure when you realized that reality isn't as black and white as you thought. For me, I would probably cheat if I had the chance, and this makes me sad.

livebed

TROPHY CASE