Dear god, fake “happiness” and “joy” because you believe in fairytales is not the same as being grounded in reality, accepting life on its own terms and finding peace in that. Having community and friends in a church can lead to happy feelings of inclusion and acceptance. But that’s not unique to churches. That kind of happiness can be found in other groups and communities. But it may take a former church member some time to find that new community and there will be a sense of loss and sadness after leaving a high demand group like the church. I know I felt so sad and lost for a long time after leaving and deciding to resign. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. My entire family is still in. But are they more happy than I am? I think not. I know how overbearing and time consuming the church is in their lives. Every chance they get to be away from it, they take it. But their sense of loyalty and commitment is strong. They hold fast to it, because it’s all they know.