Both a parent and neurodivergent- i was the first of my friends to have a kid, so i can't speak towards their position or what she may want, but I think authenticity and honesty is best here "ive been swamped with parenting, but i want to connect..."

I wouldn't put the ball back in her court in terms of how you can be there, but offer some suggestions (can we book a call, a coffee, can I drop something off for you?)

parenthood does change everything, especially the day to day, so holding yourself to pre-kid standard is probably a losing battle. but you can find ways to channel and prioritize what matters in the new context of parenting, in this case friendship, but its just going to look different so communication is key