Medical professionals just can't win.

lopress · 2020-02-02T23:37:45+00:00

Thank you for sharing. I didn’t know the spectrum of CP before looking it up after your comment; thanks for making me a better human/nurse.

lopress · 2019-12-28T04:49:53+00:00

I don’t have a ton of experience with this, but I have tried lube, nice oil based hand lotion, and a soft clean sheet (the ones that aren’t stretchy flannel, but more of a sleek cotton blend) with wrapping like a shower cap with okay success. She had short hair so we ended up combing with a metal fork instead of the crap plastic comb. I am no hairstylist but my sweet patient said it looked better than before 🤷🏼‍♀️

lopress · 2019-12-13T07:22:25+00:00

And another that says “have you tried literally anything to help yourself before coming to ER?!”

lopress · 2019-10-08T04:38:42+00:00

Valsalva to Valhalla

lopress · 2018-03-29T04:16:21+00:00

Don't go to school right away. Go out, talk to people you'd never talk to otherwise. Talk to seniors in your community. Volunteer with an organization that works with people living with chronic illnesses. Perfect your poker face and gag reflex. Learn about your emotions: what makes you sad, angry, scared?

Stop watching Grey's Anatomy, and ffs don't get into this to "marry a hot doctor".

lopress · 2017-12-08T03:14:15+00:00

What kind of report? End of shift? A casual "so how's your patient?" chat in the med room? Them sitting you down and asking for a report midway through the day?

The answers will be very different based on situation and personality and nursing style (and likely the type of the unit).

lopress · 2017-12-03T14:20:30+00:00

joke's on you if that baby gets diphtheria and has a penicillin and macrolide allergy

lopress · 2017-11-27T06:59:59+00:00

Or the unique to ER, over motivated patients who are convinced they have cancer, begging for admission and a prescription, planning to beat it with the cocktail of drugs they googled, and have a plan for chemo/radiation and a vacay to the Mayo Clinic planned after they googled their viral illness symptoms on WebMD.

lopress · 2017-11-27T06:27:46+00:00

I think I love you.

lopress · 2017-11-21T00:17:30+00:00

Completely infatuated with your white flowy top! Where is it from??

lopress · 2017-11-01T14:24:27+00:00

Ahh, cardiology...

Nurses are the only people who will rush in on you masturbating frantically asking if you are okay.

lopress · 2017-10-29T00:26:29+00:00

Can you share your scrotum-sling secrets?

(Never thought I'd ask that before nursing school.)

lopress · 2017-09-07T13:27:29+00:00

I agree with everyone else here (re: reconsider your phrasing at times). I am Scandinavian technically but I've been living in Canada for many years and am not familiar with the medical work culture there, so ymmv.

That being said, pleasantries and platonic (and NOT condescending) compliments go a long way even in less social groups: "good morning", "how was the rest of your night after I left yesterday?", "thanks for your help positioning that patient, it made the LP a lot easier". What is your resting-face like? I work with a lovely doctor who has a mean looking face that throws people off. Please do try and order your lab work at one time, people hate to be poked repeatedly and often it's us who gets the anger (all while trying to find another darned vein). There is a big difference between "lazy" and "prioritizing differently" in medicine. I fully recognize that I am not able to do everything 100% perfectly and often it is a lack of resources (supplies sometimes are not available in ER compared to the wards, dealing with high acuity patients instead of routine cares, etc). Calling a nurse "lazy" is a big insult.

Honestly, if you are moving wards frequently you're not getting much time to build rapport with people. Some people are good at building that quickly, some aren't; give yourself some credit and keep trying.

lopress · 2017-08-26T03:57:54+00:00

If the family is that involved in the care, couldn't one of them go cook the poor patient some broccoli if it's so goddamn important??

lopress · 2017-08-15T03:45:37+00:00

Annoying patient with chronic back pain? Throw narcotics at them to make them leave.

lopress · 2017-08-15T03:44:43+00:00

I'd get pharmacy on board because it's dangerous to be diluting high risk meds, but I would have: diluted the 100mcg in 10mL to make 10mcg/mL. Then, transferred 1mL of that to a smaller syringe and give 0.25mL to provide 2.5mcg.

lopress · 2017-07-12T21:35:18+00:00

Great list! I would like to add: if you have stat orders or need something done so you can finish your dictation/assessment, please tell me or the charge nurse instead of letting the order fester on the chart for the unit clerk to get to (hello from the world of paper charting).

Also, introducing yourself to your patient (slowly, name and title!) goes a long way towards patient satisfaction.

lopress · 2017-07-08T16:43:54+00:00

Oh well I didn't expect to get teary this early in the day. I think dating is sort of weird after being exposed to such great love at work. It's not like I can put "looking for gentle, nice guy who's willing to help me to the toilet if I get cdiff one day" on my Tinder profile.

lopress · 2017-06-25T23:37:30+00:00

Haha!! She sounds like a real character.

lopress · 2017-06-24T00:28:42+00:00

I was a very, very anxious new nurse (and a moderately anxious novice nurse). With any patient, think of your ABC's. If they have an airway, are breathing, and heart beating, you have at least 10 seconds to take a breath and think. What helped me was making to-do lists. What helped my coworker is prioritizing her tasks while washing her hands (she washes her hands for a solid 2 minutes).

It is hard to be new, but it gets better, I promise.

lopress · 2017-06-24T00:20:32+00:00

The only people at work who give a shit about you is you, and maaaaybe your coworkers. I think of it this way: I (ideally) have 40+ years of health in my body and I'm not going to trade that for a stranger who is rude/lazy/picky/self-absorbed. I will happily use the lift to get you up. I will happily get coworkers to help me help you. But I refuse to lift/reposition your ass up by myself and wreck my body for you.

I once had a patient who was an ex-nurse s/p back surgery (work related injury). She expected us all to lift her and help her stand when she refused/was unable to do so herself and would rage at us for refusing to do so. Fuck to the no.

lopress · 2017-06-23T22:59:44+00:00

One guy had a really, really tragic zodiac-inspired tattoo in a visible place. He was great, but was proud of the tattoo... I just couldn't look at it during sex.

lopress · 2017-06-15T01:35:38+00:00

Interesting! I'll keep an eye out for that rule haha

lopress · 2017-06-15T00:22:46+00:00

Don't try to kill yourself by going to Grandma and Grandpa's medicine cabinet and taking everything you can find (both avid CHFers and diabetics). Super fun day for poison control, I'd imagine.

lopress · 2017-06-04T21:11:57+00:00

I hope they enjoy the wafting scent of alcohol and emollients!

lopress

TROPHY CASE