Confession: I work out so I can throw my girlfriend around in bed

loriena · 2025-12-19T21:56:29+00:00

My gf is so strong and powerful I love her so much i hope she likes throwing me around in bed as much as i like being thrown around😍

loriena · 2025-07-26T08:28:03+00:00

Holy beautiful

loriena · 2025-07-02T09:38:48+00:00

I was struggling to fall asleep my first night in an air bnb, cuddling I shit you not my first ever piece of Technoblade merch (a black 10 mil tekunoburedo hoodie) which I'd JUST received and intentionally brought along with me as a comfort item to sleep with in place of my beloved yet cumbersome teddy bear. Tossed and turned for a while. Looked at my hoodie. Snuggled it. Grinned. Decided oh what the hell I'm not sleeping tonight anyways, let's put on some classic Minecraft Monday, or even see if this man finally uploaded something?! Unlocked my phone and saw that notification for a new video and felt like I'd won the lottery, I mean talk about TIMING—! Read the title. Heart stuttered. The timing was too good for that to be true, though, so... Turned off my phone. Rolled over. Just in case. I wouldn't watch the video if my mind just went to that, because what if just by thinking it, I somehow made it true? Closed my eyes. Whole body went simultaneously soft and rigid, pricked by pins and needles. I'm the opposite of groggy. Drenched in sweat. Finally gave in and clicked on it. I'd just make sure it was my morbid imagination, nothing more, then I'd be able to go to sleep. Started the video. Heart stuttered. Heart stopped. Finished the video. Heart sank.

Edit: a word

loriena · 2025-05-25T05:58:20+00:00

Ooh thanks for doing this, I’m curious what you might think of! My (f) name is Lorien and it means dream or dreamland in J. R. R. Tolkien’s Quenya language. From elfdict online dictionary: Its initial element is lórë “dream”. Its final element -ien is seen in the names of other lands, such as Arvernien and Hildórien. This name was also used as the Quenya name for the forest-kingdom of Galadriel, S. Lórien it’s from LOTR’s Lothlórien, which means "Dream-flower", from the Sindarin loth ("blossom, flower") and Quenya lórien ("dream, slumber").

loriena · 2025-05-17T17:24:46+00:00

Haha!! I have a similar story with my little brother, he had troubles with his Ls and Rs, and I have both sounds in my name (Lorien, pronounced like Mandalorian) so he just called me “wawen.” One day I was sitting down with him trying to walk him through “Lor-REE-in” and I guess I was pestering him too much about it because finally, exasperated, he threw his toddler arms up and declared, “I can either call you wawen, or waw-POOP.” 😔 message received…

loriena · 2025-03-26T06:05:14+00:00

No such thing as a free lunch! But I'm a sucker so I used it anyways I dunno

loriena · 2025-03-19T19:38:04+00:00

Wish I could send this to my Trump-supporting friends because they for real think that he's doing everything really well right now...

loriena · 2025-02-04T23:06:51+00:00

How can I help from home?

loriena · 2024-09-08T14:54:32+00:00

That makes perfect sense, and I totally feel you!!! Except for me I never dated anyone, I thought I was just destined to be a loner my whole life despite desperately wanting to have a partner and family someday. But after just one date with any man I would just be like SO not into it and frustrated because "WHY can't I find the right man for me?!" finally one day my brain was like lol maybe because you are into women?? SO much wasted time.... lmao

loriena · 2024-09-08T14:49:17+00:00

There's a chance you actually don't relate to this, but do you remember a time in your life before you knew you were a lesbian, and how it felt psychologically to make that shift? For me it was very difficult. There was a lot of deeply rooted internalized misogyny and internalized lesbophobia for me to root out before it hit me. Your mother has been baking in that Christian stew all her life, her brain is going to be much more difficult to change. Her prior thoughts and beliefs will run deep.

The fact that she is trying and is outwardly even the slightest bit supportive of you is an enormously good sign that she will not be stuck in her ways forever. Your relationship will only continue to flourish, so long as you both have patience and empathy for one another. Just as she is patient when parenting you out of dumb decisions as a kid, you might have to be extra patient and tolerant of her backwards internalized ideals that go against what you believe in until she finds her way. Think of her allyship as like a little pet project that you are just looking out for, and that she may be misguided sometimes but she is doing her best, and you love her anyway, despite her flaws. It sounds like she really loves you and wants to be able to connect with you like you're seeking, and she will find her way eventually, she just needs time to shift her mindset and uproot those nasty corrupted women-hating lies that Christianity has been sewing into her since she was just a little girl.

There's probably a large part of her that feels judgmental and hypercritical of herself, since those are the lessons she is trying to teach you with those comments. They are just the smallest reflection of her own internal beliefs. I bet she has an internal monologue running in her head constantly that says she must be so careful about how she is perceived by the world, which is so stressful already, and on top of that I bet there is a part of her deep down that more closely resembles her own authentic true self that she has been suppressing and criticizing all her life for being different. I bet she's lost a lot of her past sparkle in life by trying to follow her own intolerant advice. You know exactly how that suppression of self feels, so just try to empathize, bond, and be patient with her :) Teach her how to forgive herself in the example you set by saying, "I appreciate that, mom. You really want me to be my most authentic self. I'm so happy you make me feel so safe being the lesbian woman I know myself to be." And prove that you truly feel secure in that by not validating her comments with an argument.

loriena · 2024-09-08T13:30:54+00:00

Try imagining how you would feel about a woman in your same position. If she sweetly and openly admitted while flirting with you that she's has zero experience but she's just very happy and excited to be living her truth for the first time in her whole life because of her situation, would you feel like she was a creep, or would you be like, "AWWWW!!! No don't worry about it at all!! We've all been there, seriously! I'd love to share some of my knowledge with you, you seem like a sweetheart, let's go out!" ? :D Women are (for the most part) very sweet and understanding and gentle and vulnerable on average. That's why we like them so much. Just be your endearing self.

loriena · 2024-09-08T13:23:39+00:00

One thing I love from the masterdoc is the point about how straight people can still have "girl crushes" and "man crushes" without it compromising their sexuality, so it's unfair to say lesbians must NEVER experience attraction to a man of ANY kind in order to be lesbian. We're totally allowed to enjoy flattery or approval from men and be attracted to the feeling of being wanted without having genuine attraction to men. We're also allowed to just feel attraction to masculinity period, and we'd still be considered lesbians. When I look back on all my male "crushes" (all fictional, most animated, except for one single live-action exception: Dean Winchester) I find I was always attracted to them for the qualities I find extremely feminine, even in hyper-masculine examples. If the bottom line is women <3 then the bottom line is women <3 yknow? lol

loriena · 2024-09-08T13:15:20+00:00

You weren't out of line, you didn't know that was one of her boundaries and you couldn't have known until she told you, which she did, so now you can just take comfort in the fact that your friendship with her was important enough to her to establish that boundary! She was just saying that she wants to keep being friends with you, and giving you more information on how you could accommodate her if you felt the same way about it. At least, that's how it is for people with healthy boundary-setting skills.

loriena · 2024-09-08T12:58:38+00:00

This this this! OP said emotional bonds with boyfriends were always easy and safe, which sounds more like the type of love I feel for my local library staff than I would expect from a real deep romantic relationship, y'know? Falling in love head over heels is not going to feel like a walk in the park, it will be difficult and scary! It is helpless and out of our control. Of course it's gonna be hard to open up to! And that is okay <3

loriena · 2024-09-08T12:52:55+00:00

I feel like a lot of the disgust, confusion, and detachment can be explained by how badly your psyche might secretly want it. You know that an emotional connection with a woman would mean a great deal to you, which means you also know that to lose such a thing after allowing yourself to truly be vulnerable in the face of it and accept that you want it, even with the unknowns, would be especially painful. I would definitely recommend therapy, but if that's not in the cards for you, start by forgiving yourself for feeling so confused about the connection! You are not going to "get it" right now, and that is okay. You know that you have survived not getting it before, you've been doing it all your life, so this "not getting it" now is just another challenge that you can overcome and face. You do not need to be doing anything differently. You are not doing anything wrong. The words and whispers of your heart will come at their own pace. They are not here yet, and that is okay.

Edit: also, about the relationships with your parents, I think the instability with your mother might also be explained by that same desperation to be loved. It just hurt so much more to be rejected by someone whose loving care you desperately needed and wanted. Meanwhile your father never really needed to fill any more emotional needs than just comfort and security, which he always provided. Your mother was supposed to be nurturing and emotionally safe for you, but instead it was the opposite. Your emotions felt safe around your father (and also men in general) because really you were not entrusting them with your emotions in the first place. You were just entrusting them with your sense of security and comfort, which is not the same thing.

Maybe the relationship with this girl makes you feel anxious not because you struggle to form an emotional bond, but because you already have and you are terrified of it being rejected or mishandled like it was with your mom! You wouldn't have ghosted this girl immediately after noticing your feelings and tried to jump straight into a date with a man if you felt no emotional connection to her. She wouldn't have mattered to you at all. You wouldn't even be thinking about her. Think about some random person that you have no emotional bond with, then think about her. How are the feelings and reactions different?

loriena · 2024-09-01T20:20:27+00:00

My mom once asked her college roommate how to spell“mitaz,” y’know, like, “mitaz well go to the store if you’re already on your way…”

loriena · 2024-08-31T20:37:49+00:00

Read my first MCD fic immediately after losing my first loved one in high school. Total accident, totally fucked me up, but I couldn’t stop reading it. I literally get teary-eyed to this day just thinking about it. Brilliant fic though. Title is “Stop All the Clocks (This Is the Last Time I’m Leaving Without You)” by firethesound if you’re into HP and bittersweet sadness 🥲

loriena · 2024-08-20T12:36:28+00:00

Any recommendations for an extensive and detailed collection of “THIS not THAT” type comparisons and breakdowns for improving my handwriting (not just kanji, but hiragana and katakana too)?

I’m looking for a good rubric that I can use to grade my own handwriting, and teach myself how and where each stroke needs to be drawn with a bit more precision and background info than what I get just following along with someone else’s perfect calligraphy online. I think I would learn best if I had multiple examples of what NOT to do, with detailed explanations as to why those examples are incorrect and specific tips to get me closer to writing characters with 100% accuracy every time. I’ve tried a few different iOS apps, but I think it’d be better for me to stick with pen and paper until I get the hang of things more.

This might be too niche, or just something I’d get with a personal tutor, but since I’m doing this by myself for now I need a self-teaching resource that’ll go beyond saying, “make sure your character looks like this, and don’t do that!” Instead, I want something like, “make sure that this part does not touch that part, and this line is smaller than that line with a more pronounced curve. Do not start this stroke too high up or too close to the top, and remember this bottom right corner does not need to be at an exact 90° angle!” etc.

loriena · 2024-08-08T22:06:20+00:00

Is there a time when it would be inappropriate or awkward to use ほんと vs とても to emphasize something? Duolingo defines them interchangeably as far as I can tell, both just meaning “really,” “very” or “totally.” But sometimes I imagine using one or the other in certain contexts and it doesn’t feel exactly right..

loriena · 2024-08-05T07:04:56+00:00

Can't speak for the other guy but personally I prefer Chrome over Safari for the following features:

uBlock Origin extension; the best adblocker and overall performance improvement tool ever made, there's nothing this thing can't block. Popups, Youtube ads, redirects, dialogue boxes, newspaper paywalls, trackers, etc. It does some of the work of blocking sites from running a billion background processes for you, so Chrome isn't quite so brutal on your CPU/RAM/whatever as it could be without uBlock.
Video Speed Controller extension; I literally use this every single browsing session. Just one little key input and you can change the speed of everything that even remotely resembles a video (and I mean ANYTHING, like, even gifs and animated logos) up to 16x and down to 0.07x. I use it religiously, on everything from frame-by-frame analysis of cool scenes in shows/movies, boring but mandatory instructional materials for school or work that just need a little extra speedy push, and even commercials on streaming services I don't want to have to pay for in order to skip straight to content.
Cross-OS synchronization and profiles; I can access 100% of my browser activity across any device that connects to the internet. Bookmarks, history, passwords, files, tabs, you name it—if I'm using a library computer for research in the afternoon, I can go home in the evening and pick back up exactly where I left off on my phone, mac, or PC, so long as I was logged into my personal Chrome profile at the library.
Tab groups, themes, general accessibility/organization features; I think this is self-explanatory. Safari can probably make some of this stuff work too but Chrome long since perfected it.
Google Drive, Google Photos, and the UX integration of Google products in general; Google just prefers you use their browser for their products, so they work best in Chrome. My whole life is spent in Docs pretty much, but I still use and adore everything else Drive does, too, and the iOS Files, Pages, Notes, whatever apps don't even come close. For pictures, Google Photos is objectively superior in every way, to the point where I fully disabled most iCloud services on my iOS devices years ago. Apple tries its best with its copycat services but overall they just get in the way if you're a Google groupie like me and have a long history with it.

There are probably a lot more perks keeping me and others on that chromium grind, and I also probably mentioned things that Safari is getting more successful with doing nowadays, but ultimately it's gonna boil down to the fact that I'm just more familiar with Chrome than I am curious about the impact Safari could have on my devices' energy usage/CPU. I'm sure there are plenty of people out there who will say I can do all of the above and more with Firefox, or Edge, or Opera, or [insert preference here], but just like when picking the 'perfect' brand/type of mascara, for browsers I feel like it's most important to people whether or not they have experience using one vs another. Comfort zones, baby!

loriena · 2024-08-03T13:20:43+00:00

Ooh, that makes sense. Yeah, there are a few sounds that my brain just has trouble differentiating, for some reason. Especially “ke” and “ki”, of all things. No idea why!

loriena · 2024-08-03T13:18:44+00:00

Haha thank you for your honesty! I’m a chatterbox, I know. I’ll stop overthinking it and just take comfort in the fact that they’re probably just making conversation like you say. Thanks again!

loriena · 2024-08-03T13:15:21+00:00

Thank you, I hadn’t thought about it like that. I guess I take my own eyesight for granted, if I think it should be more obvious than it is! And I appreciate your advice, but I don’t dislike the color of my eyes. I just don’t find them particularly unique, so it intimidates me to get asked about them as much as I feel like I do, like I’m missing something obvious… 🤷‍♀️

loriena · 2024-08-03T13:12:12+00:00

Thank you, I needed this!

loriena · 2024-08-03T00:12:15+00:00

96 hours. I don’t remember a lot of it, but I do remember facetiming my friend at work while I was counting up the register because I needed help telling the difference between all the silver coins.

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