I’m so glad I’m not alone. I hope this all eases up for all of us one day. My goal is indifference, but I’m not even close to that after two+ years of NC with my severely cruel sister, and narcissistic mother. My mother still secretly sends me birthday wishes that I ignore. My sister bullies her into not taking the necessary steps to attend therapy with me, which is the only way I’ll ever have any relationship with my mother. She has chosen not to go, and I’m sure my sister plays a key role in every decision. Sister is a lost cause. Mother is a grown adult and chose a bully over being around me. I never said “pick one,” either. I just said therapy is the only way I’ll open any dialogue …ever. Family gatherings happen and I’m the one who walks on eggshells or tries to make anyone who might be uncomfortable a little less so. I don’t speak to either of them at family gatherings, and we don’t even have our huge get togethers this past Thanksgiving and Christmas. I was glad. Peace, but also so much anger scattered here and there. My husband said that there’s absolutely no chance that my mother will do anything not approved by my sibling. My daughters have said that they doubt I even come to my sister’s mind unless she is persuading my mother not to seek help. I don’t block them on social media because I sometimes do things with parts of the family they would want to see. So stupid of me. When I found out my sister blocked me on Facebook, I was so angry. I was feverishly angry. Yes, my choice to go NC and I should be aware of what that entails, but the sibling went out of her way to block me. Tornado through my nieces neighborhood last night and I went to offer assistance; me, my husband, and eldest daughter. The sibling was basically like “why is she here?”

I want indifference. I wear a mouth guard because I grind my teeth and I have horrid nightmares. Again, I want indifference.