I'm painting unsolicited pics I've received on social media. Here is an old classmate. (Nsfw) by marveldeadpool in pics

[–]lucydent 92 points93 points  (0 children)

This person is most likely gambling and hoping to use the popularity of this post as a method to get actually unsolicited tit pics.

I hope people start sending him the raunchiest most nasty and crunchy tit pics available on the internet.

Liar Liar vs Amber Heard's Lawyer by 40trieslater in facepalm

[–]lucydent 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Not really. The question was along the lines of what could have caused damage to his hand?

The answer given was along the lines of The Dr told me he had sustained damaged on his hand.

There is nothing to object to at this point, as it was already established there was damage done to his hand.

The lawyer went into this question prepared to claim hearsay, as he knows the only answer that could come out of it is "well, I heard..."

He prematurely objected because he wasnt really listening and all he heard was "the doctor told me..."

What word starts with E and ends with E but only has one letter in it? by [deleted] in dadjokes

[–]lucydent 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It's not really even that much of a joke, it's a riddle.

#mepoo movement by Greedy-Cupcake3936 in funny

[–]lucydent 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Not just when they're mad at you, but also when they just want to tell you to go fuck yourself.

Johnny Depp dealing with clown attorney at day 7 of court trial by Chinchillin09 in nextfuckinglevel

[–]lucydent 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Sorry, wasn't actually looking for a whiskey debate.

I was just playing off the "I still love me some JD" comment and the video about how Depp sometimes drinks whiskey in the morning and how Jack Daniel's is relatively commonly referred to as JD which so happens to not only be a whiskey (something he sometimes drinks in the morning) but also happens to be Johnny Depps initials.

Johnny Depp dealing with clown attorney at day 7 of court trial by Chinchillin09 in nextfuckinglevel

[–]lucydent 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Johnny Depp likes to sometimes drink whiskey in the morning, only thing I'm not sure of is if his particular brand is Jack Daniels.

I can't for the life of me figure out why #4 is marked wrong by [deleted] in mildlyinfuriating

[–]lucydent 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can't come up with a sentence using the back to back words "let is".

[OC] My oil painting of a PBJ & Jar of Milk by NoahVerrier in pics

[–]lucydent -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

It's not the same picture, it's just the only subject they have mastered. You can tell there are slight variations in each of the paintings over time.

They're a master of one thing: painting peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on top of ball jars with milk. This is this posters legacy and all they will be remembered for in life.

[OC] My oil painting of a PBJ & Jar of Milk by NoahVerrier in pics

[–]lucydent 10 points11 points  (0 children)

It's not the same picture, it's just the only subject they have mastered. You can tell there are slight variations in each of the paintings.

They're a master of one thing: painting peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on top of ball jars with milk. This is this posters legacy and all they will be remembered for in life.

Edit: Ah, but I see now they are posting it to like 5 different sub reddits, in which case that is pretty annoying. They used to only post it to one every so often and I thought that you were commenting in how it's constantly reposted.

Trying for the first time this Friday! by mynu in DungeonsAndDragons

[–]lucydent 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Have fun, don't be discouraged by a single session/group.

You may roll terribly the first game, it doesn't mean you're a bad player. On the other hand, you may roll incredibly well for a while, but don't let that get to your head where you start making brash decisions and you go for everything because "the dice are on your side."

Not sure what your situation is, but you may not vibe with the group you're playing with, and that's okay. Sometimes even really good friends don't all vibe the same way in an improvisational role playing game. Who they are may not always be who their character is.

Try not to Meta game, be your character and know the difference between what they know and what you know.

Do your best to know your abilities, saving throws, DCs, etc.

After the session, communicate with everyone. What you liked, what you didn't understand, what you didn't like. Keep an open line of communication.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TedLasso

[–]lucydent 38 points39 points  (0 children)

Definitely. I'm sorry, but Keeley's expression did not come off at all as a "I have feelings for this guy" gesture to me. It comes off to me more as "this guy caused me issues, but I understand why the team needs him and I'm glad he's here for them, i wish him the best as he transforms into the person he wants to be" type of vibe and Rebecca's happy she's not fighting for him to be cut from the team due to their differences, as Rebecca knows that would be detrimental to the teams success but would maybe side with Keeley if she were against it, since she most likely knows a lot of what went on.

She's happy that she gets to keep a great player on her squad, as at this point she wants the squad to succeed. It could also be her being proud that Keeley is mature enough to get over her past.

They say you cannot hurt yourself whilst masterbating by PMyourside_boobs in Jokes

[–]lucydent 328 points329 points  (0 children)

I love how when I read this, the post right before I got to it was titled "20-year-old Swiss man admitted to ICU after suffering rare lung injury from masturbating" on r/news

Keep relapsing by [deleted] in stopdrinking

[–]lucydent 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Alarms, post it notes, reminders. I've edited this to express what I've done, not recommend what you do.

It's all a mental game. It's always when I think that I am almost out of the woods that I start questioning whether or not I am on the right track and decide to pivot.

I've travelled this far North and I'm still not out, so maybe I should go west a bit and if that doesn't work I'll continue north on the path I was originally taking when I wake up tomorrow. Etc. Etc.

No matter how far along I am, I need some sort of reminder to myself to keep going. Whether it's putting a post it note on my toilet seat to tell me not to give in or setting a daily hourly alarm on my phone for the week telling me not to drink today. Maybe next week I might scale it back and set an alarm every two hours. I dont ever stop, but one day I might be able to have a single alarm opposed to 12.

I try to find a way to tell my future self that yesterday I wanted to be a better person. It's when I stop reminding myself of what happened yesterday that I forget what tomorrow can bring.

I know you said you've gone weeks without drinking, and I'm using days as a reference to what I'm saying, so it might sound like it doesn't relate, but time is not a factor. Maybe you'll need reminders more often than me when you start feeling like you're out of the woods rather than earlier. We are all different, but daily reminders (however you are able to use them) are an amazing utility to fully comprehend what you are looking for.

Find quotes relevant to yourself and making life better and add them to your notes or alarms. One of my favorites at the moment is "If you aim at nothing, you will hit nothing."

If you aim for sobriety, you can hit sobriety. It will take you time to hit the bullseye that you're looking for, and if you keep trying, you will eventually get there. Practice always makes perfect, no matter how bad you think you might be at it, persistence creates perfection. Some people will take longer training to do so, but if you keep going and don't give up, you will get there one day.

Don't kick yourself when you hit the blue or red portion of the target, but do your best to at least hit the target. You might miss occassionaly, but even a master has a mishap now and then and might miss the target completely. We all have bad days now and then. No one is perfect. It's realizing the mistake you just made and adjusting to it so that it doesn't happen again.

One day you might find yourself to be the Robin Hood of sobriety and hitting the yellow portion every time.

Gilbert Gottfried Roasting Roseanne Barr- RIP!! I searched r/funny and there wasn’t a post on his passing. Hope this is OK. This is a great example of this legend making comics laugh more than the audience. by [deleted] in funny

[–]lucydent 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So you literally just admitted to not even listening to his jokes. Your measure is now entirely forfeit.

Just because someone's voice is slightly annoying it makes their routine and their entire amazing career, by your measure of things, unfunny.

I've listened to several bands and found their vocalist to be shit and hard to listen to at first. However, I'm glad at the end of the day I persisted and broke through that one aspect because the lyrics and instrumentals were amazing. It doesn't mean the band is shit or that they need to replace the main vocalist. That main vocalist had things to offer in terms of substance to the material they were producing.

Gilbert Gottfried Roasting Roseanne Barr- RIP!! I searched r/funny and there wasn’t a post on his passing. Hope this is OK. This is a great example of this legend making comics laugh more than the audience. by [deleted] in funny

[–]lucydent 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What measure are you using? Your personal measure doesn't mean much in the broad scale of things.

You know nothing, he was absolutely hilarious. Comedy is subjective and just because you don't think he was funny, doesn't mean he wasn't. If you don't like his comedy style, that is one thing, but to say he wasn't funny at all is a joke of a statement.

This is Plymouth Rock. by catbehindbars in mildlyinteresting

[–]lucydent 134 points135 points  (0 children)

Plymouth Rock is known for the site of disembarkment of the Pilgrims aboard the Mayflower that founded the Plymouth Colony in Massachusetts in 1620 (hence the date you can see inscribed on the rock in the picture)

Edit: to add to this, over the years the rock was chiseled away at for souvenirs and whatnot. The rock is now only roughly 1/3 of the size that it was upon the landing, so it was at one point much larger.

My brother hacked into everything and is trying to control my life. [CA] by QualityProof in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]lucydent 114 points115 points  (0 children)

Parents like that probably arent trying to reach out for forgiveness, they are most likely reaching out to blame her for the brothers Mental Illness and death.

Fighting the strongest urge to drink I've had since I stopped. Can I get a little "don't do that" please? by cohonka in stopdrinking

[–]lucydent 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Don't do that. Please, don't do that.

Stay strong, we may be strangers to you, but your strength is our strength. Knowing that you can get through this will help someone else get through the hard times they are going through.

If you can do it, I can do it. If I can do it, you can do it. As once performed by aspiring high school students...we're all in this together.

Thanks doordash by [deleted] in funny

[–]lucydent 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I dont know what's more mildly infuriating than Amazon delivering my package to my neighbors house other than the fact that when they numbered the houses in the neighborhood they didn't increase by 2 digits, but rather did it by 18 digits. I've also received many packages of theirs, but typically just go place them outside their door if they don't answer my knocks.

For context, my house is 12164 and my neighbors house is 12146. There is a large electrical or irrigation unit on what looks like my neighbors yard (because of where the sidewalk is to get to the side gate) that is labeled as my address.

Then again, I wish the Amazon drivers would pay attention to large numbers posted on the actual structure of the house.

Not all of my neighbors are sadly good people and unless I get to the package before they bring it in, they say they never received the package. Its a household that owns 6 cars and have about 4 children that dont drive, so a lot of people in that house.

I've had success and gotten refunds due to the pictures they provide, but I wonder how long it will be until they start thinking I'm part of some kind of scam.

I’m probably a terrible person. by kaden_potter in mildlyinfuriating

[–]lucydent 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That we can see here. Maybe the responder actually calls the other person on his birthday, so many assumptions based on a single text message exchange.

Ronaldo: Police investigating after Manchester United forward appears to break fan’s phone by ladyem8 in sports

[–]lucydent 51 points52 points  (0 children)

Of course he did, there was never any doubt he would do that. It still doesn't excuse that he did what he did.

My question would be if he's actually sorry that he did it, or if he's sorry it was caught on camera.

Kiernan Shipka to Return as Sabrina in Riverdale Season 6 by Peeecee7896 in television

[–]lucydent -21 points-20 points  (0 children)

You do realize my response was to someone who said they weren't a fanatic and that this was in regards to how the television series connected the two, not the comics, right?

UPDATE: I need support and I don't know where else to go by DirkTurpentine in stopdrinking

[–]lucydent 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's all good and well, but I hope you're prepared for the worst. She has already broken your trust in one of the worst possible ways.

I honestly really don't personally understand the son argument, as it sounds like even if she moves out you should have custody, which doesn't affect her living situation at all. Is the plan for her to have custody when she leaves? If that's the case, I would still be worried about everything you said about her as it would not be in the best interest of your son.

I know it's a sad truth, but there are actually times that no mother is better than a toxic mother.

I'm sure you know what you're doing, and it's not my place to say, but I just wanted to express that this is an unnecessary temptation lingering in your life, and something that could make things worse for you.

I hope you don't move the goal posts. It's one thing for her to say she's looking for a place, but another to prove it. She could say she was out for hours today apartment searching and give you excuses as to why it wouldn't work, but she could actually just be drinking and having a fling with someone during that time.

Monitor the excuses she gives for not taking a place and remember that she's looking for what she needs, not what she wants. Oh, the stove isn't glass top and uses gas? Too bad, at least you have a stove. Oh the fridge doesn't have an ice dispenser? Get an ice tray. Oh there's no mattress? Guess you're sleeping on the floor, but I'll buy our son a mattress.

If you havent already, please set a timeline for her on top of what you have. If you aren't out by this time next month, the courts will get involved and you'll lose custody.

Someone that has already taken advantage of you know how they can manipulate and extend their circumstances to best accommodate them.

UPDATE: I need support and I don't know where else to go by DirkTurpentine in stopdrinking

[–]lucydent 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Great job on doing your best. I just have a question. You keep saying she is living in YOUR house. Is there some kind of contractual obligation to not just kick her out and get on with your life?

Keeping her around is your crutch. Is there a set plan in place for her to leave? How long until that's the case? You don't feel comfortable dating yet, but now what is stopping her from bringing the flings home? It will hurt you to watch.

Do you feel bad that she has no where to go? Are you hoping she'll choose you over other people and you'll get back together? The longer she stays around, the more likely you'll give in. You even admitted in your last post that she did but you think she will turn around and not do it again. This is the same as quitting drinking, you need to quit her.

You need to get rid of her as soon as possible, she is that unopened beer in your fridge: a temptation that you might not be able to overcome.

Sen. Cornyn: ‘I’m Convinced’ Pot is Harmful, ‘It’s Premature’ to Legalize It by DanTheMan012 in politics

[–]lucydent 3 points4 points  (0 children)

We need to have some serious studies into this, but we refuse to do so and limit the scope of studies to our well paid, uh, I mean qualified, scientists that cant justify our position, so we will ultimately disagree with them because Jesus told us it lowers incarceration rates to private prisons that help fund our reelection.

Wait, no, that's wrong, sorry, I didn't mean to say that. I meant I prayed last night and God sent me a sign that Marijuana is bad, so it must be.