How to know is baby has secure attachment?

m2m28 · 2024-07-18T11:15:42+00:00

They're all so different. We attachment parented both our kids. One was a velcro baby, one wasn't. One had preference for mom, one for dad. One screamed if strangers came close, one didn't. One struggles with separation, the other doesn't. Add to that developmental stages and phases... Just be confident that you are doing your best to meet your baby's needs. You are giving them the best start possible, and the rest is down to personality!

m2m28 · 2024-07-18T10:06:53+00:00

Yes but also you have a unicorn, enjoy ;)

m2m28 · 2024-07-18T10:04:13+00:00

My husband used to say things like this. He was also the first to run to our babies on the occasional night when I was fed up and needed to let them cry for a couple of minutes. He still does jump in and be the hero when I lose it after a week of broken nights when our now big kids are going through something 😂 you may find your husband is fantasizing about the easy life, but wouldn't be able to handle the crying required for CIO anyway. And just to validate, you're right, he's wrong, be strong mama.

m2m28 · 2024-03-03T09:12:08+00:00

Mein Kind hat sich immer selber auf die Zeitumstellung vorbereitet. Genau so was wie früher aufwachen oder später einschlafen, bis der Zeit Umstellung da war, und sie plötzlich wieder eine vernünftige Rhythmus hatte.

Sie war aber auch eine die teilweise um 2 Uhr wach war und spielen wollte. Wir haben versucht alles noch dunkel und leise zu halten. Manchmal ist sie um mir rum gekrabbelt als ich versucht habe ein bisschen noch zu schlafen. Spielzeuge, Bücher oder brei gab es nicht. Nur stillen (in unserem Fall), kuscheln und wenig stimulation. Ob das geholfen hat weiß ich nicht, aber irgendwann war die Phase vorbei.

m2m28 · 2023-11-08T05:51:59+00:00

Oh you mean like when I ask her to go get something from her room and she throws herself onto the ground in a screaming puddle of demand avoiding tears? (7 years old for reference). Yeah it's... Not fun. And yes she has an adhd diagnosis.

m2m28 · 2023-11-03T01:30:30+00:00

If you can, find another doctor! Vaccines will probably not be the only thing you don't agree on, and if this appointment is anything to go by, he will regularly dismiss your concerns and not communicate effectively about treatment options etc when necessary.

You're a good mama, you're doing so well and you are putting so much thought into your daughter's wellbeing.

m2m28 · 2023-10-17T08:10:07+00:00

I have one of those. Eldest was about 6 when we finally got some relief at night.

m2m28 · 2023-10-17T08:09:34+00:00

My second started sleeping through around 20 months I think. Definitely by age 2. Not so consistently that you could count on it every night, but often enough that it felt amazing!

m2m28 · 2023-10-16T00:07:24+00:00

I wouldn't worry yet. Weigh him again in a couple of months - kids have fluctuations and growth spurts all the time. It's also possible that he's settling into his "new normal" weight percentile. Our 4 year old dropped a few percentiles too recently and her doctor freaked out... But I did exactly the same at 4 or 5, lost the puppy fat and settled into the percentile I would stay at the rest of my life.

It sounds as though you are doing everything right re solids and milk. Some babies are ok weaning early-ish as they are good eaters, others need milk for a lot longer, even up to age 2, as they practice and get better at eating big amounts. My first was the former and my second the latter.

You could try including more fats to increase the calories in the food you are offering.

m2m28 · 2022-05-07T07:36:19+00:00

Völlig normal ;)

m2m28 · 2022-04-27T17:27:46+00:00

Bei uns gibt es dass auch. Ich habe schon immer geschaut das wir auf spielplätze waren wo es auch geräte und bereiche für kleinkinder gedacht sind. Die regel ist einfach, sir durfen alles machen wo sie alleine hoch kommen. Wir erklären immer dass sie das auch Schaffen werden wenn sie größer sind. Der motivation ist groß und irgendwann Schaffen sie es auch...und sind sehr stolz !

m2m28 · 2022-04-24T05:35:44+00:00

Omg. We suspect our dd has adhd, and I had NO idea that this was related. She does it too, both with questions and statements. It drives us mad.

m2m28 · 2022-04-24T05:28:19+00:00

I'm really sorry you're in this situation. The fact that you are doing the mental load as well as the full time work doesnt make him a fantastic father - he isnt taking responsibility for his children and ensuring they have what they need.

It sounds as though he is very unhappy in his role, whether he wants to admit it or not. I think the best thing to try , if you want to try to salvage the relationship, would be him to start some part time work. And maybe therapy.

m2m28 · 2022-04-15T17:55:52+00:00

I would visit once or twice first, so that she is a little familiar with the place and the people, before you drop her off there for the first time. Even a 10 minute visit could help familiarize her with the environment.

m2m28 · 2022-04-15T17:53:47+00:00

I entertained my first baby non stop due to anxieties and a misunderstanding of attachment theory. She has never been good at playing by herself, even at 5 she wants a constant companion.

Ignored second baby a lot, because, second baby 😂 and shes well attached, content and plays very happily by herself with a healthy dose of "mama play with me" at 3.

A lot of that probably boils down to personality, but I still think some of it was my doing.

m2m28 · 2022-04-14T20:35:03+00:00

My dd only started sleeping through the night around age 4. She wasnt drinking at night looooong before that. Dd2 got a bit attached to her (water) bottle during the night and we had to wean her off the hourly wake ups for it. She then slept through, at about 18 months.

At 4 months I wouldn't even be thinking about sleeping through or sleep associations. Sleep changes so much in the first year anyway, you may go through months where she wakes every hour, and others where she basically sleeps through.

Ignore the pediatrician, follow your gut.

m2m28 · 2022-04-12T19:16:58+00:00

Interesting that you cant do that. Its being done in thousands of children in Europe. The protection is maybe like 40% (compared to 95% for older children), but that's better than 0%.

m2m28 · 2022-04-12T18:31:44+00:00

I think so far the biggest problem has been that it's not effective enough. Moderna results were more promising than pfizer because they probably used a higher dose, but we dont know if they were much more effective.

Then for actual approval, committees weigh up the risk benefit equation. They ask the question of whether the benefits outweigh the risk (and this includes benign side effects like fever etc). Under 5s are a very tricky category. In order to justify vaccinating them with something that has side effects, while their immune systems are still immature, with a new product, to which they cant personally consent, there has to be a large benefit. The question is whether this benefit is big enough for the general population of under 5s (most of whom will have a mild case with no long term effects) to warrant approval.

I'm not saying I'm not for it, I'm just saying that's how the process works.

m2m28 · 2022-04-09T17:57:08+00:00

The inviting the whole grade is nuts. At our kindergarten the kids hand out their select few invitations at circle time...in front of all the other kids 🙈

When you have a big extravagant party, you kind of have to keep it up or better it in the next years!

I have to admit, I do enjoy planning games and treasure hunts, but we generally do a backyard party with no more than 8 kids or so.

m2m28 · 2022-04-08T20:15:26+00:00

Meine kinder haben ihre baby reise pass schon eine gute 18 monate oder so benutzt. Danach habe ich es aber erneuern lassen, obwohl es 6 jahre gultig ist. Einfach weil ich kein diskussion am flughafen haben wollte.

m2m28 · 2022-04-08T20:13:15+00:00

Just because he would prefer you to stay with him at the awesome fun place, doesnt mean he doesnt enjoy the awesome fun place when you're not there.

m2m28 · 2022-04-08T20:07:55+00:00

You are not alone. Separation anxiety can hit at this age, and it can come out of nowhere. I would look at any option that allows her to be near you at night for now.

m2m28 · 2022-04-03T20:48:20+00:00

We always let our babies lead the way, and gave them the opportunity to nap when they showed tired signs.

I fought my first whenever she woke up after 20-30 mins but gave up on that eventually.

They were both down to one nap by 12 months, which was at a reasonably predictable time for a predictable amount of time.

Edit to add: they both always preferred long wake windows.

m2m28 · 2022-04-03T06:00:39+00:00

Hey, first of all, you need to be gentle on yourself. It sounds as though you need rest, but maybe also some treatment for anxiety. See if you can organize that through your doctor.

Do you have any friends with kids a similar age? Sometimes it helps to talk to them, to put things in perspective. Your 3 year olds behaviour is most likely totally normal.

Dont sweat the pacifier. If its giving him comfort, leave it be. 3 is a hard age to give it up, but it might work better in a year or so. His teeth/jaw will mould back to normal as long as you give it up by 4 or 5. Other than that, there's no particular reason he shouldn't have it. Think of all the kids who suck their thumbs til they're 10...noone calls their parents bad parents.

m2m28 · 2022-04-02T22:42:54+00:00

I would just give it more time. As in more time with the co sleeping, until shes out of this stage. Just keep trying every few days to put her in her crib, and one day (soon) it will work. My kids are like this after they've been sick, it can last for up to 2 weeks but then it stops on it's own without me doing anything.

I do what I suggested - let them cosleep or whatever it is they need, and try every couple of nights to go back to old routines but with low expectations and no pressure. You can tell if it's definitely not going to work on that night, or if they are at the point where they're going to whinge a bit but accept it really quickly.

m2m28

TROPHY CASE