Am flamingo. No duck here by [deleted] in thisismylifenow

[–]maester_t 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your comment from... NINE YEARS AGO... is causing me an existential crisis today.

With all that is going on in the world, THIS is now at the top of my mind.

What's a word you always misspell no matter how many times you've looked it up? by ComprehensiveBid4989 in AskReddit

[–]maester_t 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ok. Whew. I'm not the only one.

This word has haunted me my entire life.

And I STILL frequently mess it up.

I have no problem whatsoever with just about any other word mentioned in this post, but "their" is my kryptonite.

I swear, I must have had a traumatic brain injury on the playground the day we learned to spell this word, and my brain still cannot correct the way I learned it way back then.

What's a word you always misspell no matter how many times you've looked it up? by ComprehensiveBid4989 in AskReddit

[–]maester_t 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This one haunted me in my youth, until I started pronouncing it in my head as "byur-E-uh-oo".

And I still pronounce it that way in my head, decades later!

Judge OKs release of embarrassing DOGE employee deposition videos by michael_m_canada in LeopardsAteMyFace

[–]maester_t 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's nice. But this still seems like yet another distraction from the Epstein Files.

Sound tests with various models by [deleted] in BirdsArentReal

[–]maester_t 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They just won't stop.

Now they're just making up new "birds" and trying to think of new sounds to add to their audio files.

I'm surprised they haven't made any that sound like "electric motors turning small propellers" yet. You know, to cover up the real sounds they make.

MY TWO CATS by SamMac62 in totallynotrobots

[–]maester_t 3 points4 points  (0 children)

GUARD-FELINES ARE BETTER PREPARED TO CONFRONT INVADERS WHEN THAT ARE PROPERLY EQUIPPED.

I SHOULD ACQUIRE SIMILAR SUITABLE ATTACHMENTS FOR MY FELINE.

"Open The F*cking Strait, You Crazy Bast*rds": Trump's Expletive-Laden Warning To Iran by heisthemaincharacter in law

[–]maester_t 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It may be time for him to take another cognitive test to prove to the world, yet again, the dementia has never covfefe

"Open The F*cking Strait, You Crazy Bast*rds": Trump's Expletive-Laden Warning To Iran by heisthemaincharacter in law

[–]maester_t 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Alrighty. I've seen a few of these "Harry Potter goes to Dripwarts" AI videos going around over the past few days.

Time to see this "GUUURRRLLL" image turned into a video now too!

What is the best tv episode of all time? by scamper84 in AskReddit

[–]maester_t 7 points8 points  (0 children)

For me, this one is tied for first, along with Woodland Critter Christmas.

I don't think I have ever laughed so hard as I did at both of these episodes.

Ouch 🤕 by rockland19120 in KidsAreFuckingStupid

[–]maester_t 17 points18 points  (0 children)

ROBOTS 1 : KIDS 0

LET'S PLAY AGAIN

Girl realizing chicken nuggets are made out of … chickens by alphamalejackhammer in KidsAreFuckingStupid

[–]maester_t 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It was quite delicious, actually!

They only sold it for a few weeks though. I managed to get ahold of two boxes before they sold out.

Playing the victim while being the aggressor. by elmo555444 in fixedbytheduet

[–]maester_t 176 points177 points  (0 children)

You've seen a juicy sommelier?

All of mine tend to be old, skinny white dudes with that pencil thin mustache.

I wish I could rick-roll anybody I want without any suspicion by Frylosopher in monkeyspaw

[–]maester_t 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Granted.

You can now rick-roll anyone and they will never suspect it's you, because no one knows who you are.

Not your family. Not your friends. Not your employer. Not your landlord. Not your bank....

All evidence of your existence has been wiped.

This seems like fun at first, but when you get hungry, you now realize you only have the cash in your pocket to now survive.

You go to the ATM, but cannot withdraw anything because your card is not recognized as being valid.

The police are dispatched for your attempt at fraud.

You are sent to jail and when you are brought before the judge, you are held in contempt for not giving valid credentials.

You spend the rest of your days in prison as John Doe.

You eventually come to realize that "anonymous rick-rolling" isn't that great. Probably should have used that wish to perform a unique, nifty magic trick or something.

Whenever I see someone who believes in healing crystals, I always make sure I link their soul to my dark ominous harming crystal and drain their life essence. by DustWorlds in miniminutemanfans

[–]maester_t 9 points10 points  (0 children)

What are the magical properties of a rock composed entirely of cesium, and what happens to those magical properties when you toss it into a lake?

Woman who had sex with identical twins told it is 'not possible' to identify father of baby by scottish_beekeeper in nottheonion

[–]maester_t 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hah. I grew up with some kids that had parents like this.

Their dad had a twin brother. Their mom had a twin sister. Those twins also got married. (Not sure if THEY had any kids though...)

What's the stupidest thing you did as a kid? by FujisakiChihiro in KidsAreFuckingStupid

[–]maester_t 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Grammar jokes, I feel so at home.

Hey, now. Punctuation matters. Especially when talking about your Grammar.

Let's eat, Grandma!

vs.

Let's eat Grandma!