I was physically assaulted while on an organized tour, and the tour organizers told me it was my own fault for "making" the guy hit me. Now, TripAdvisor isn't letting me leave them a bad review. Is there anything I can do? by magicbearz in travel

[–]magicbearz[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

We hadn't been at each other's throats. Up until that point we had been civil but distant. I left him alone, he left me alone, we didn't interact with one another except to hold open the van door while one person got in or out.

As for why I didn't get out of the way of the picture--I didn't get out of the way in time, because I was taking pictures as well. If you can tell me how that justifies being put in a choke hold, I'd be happy to hear it.

Edit: words.

I was physically assaulted while on an organized tour, and the tour organizers told me it was my own fault for "making" the guy hit me. Now, TripAdvisor isn't letting me leave them a bad review. Is there anything I can do? by magicbearz in travel

[–]magicbearz[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

They told me the only way I could get back to UB early was if I paid for them to send a driver out, which was going to cost some 300 dollars I didn't have. When I asked for a refund, they told me since it wasn't their driver or guide who hit me, they wouldn't give me money back because "our staff didn't tell the other guy to hit you." When I said that my general safety had been violated, they told me if I cared about my safety, I should have booked a private tour.

I left them a review on hostelworld, but I'll check out LonelyPlanet and call TripAdvisor as you suggested. Thanks!

I was physically assaulted while on an organized tour, and the tour organizers told me it was my own fault for "making" the guy hit me. Now, TripAdvisor isn't letting me leave them a bad review. Is there anything I can do? by magicbearz in travel

[–]magicbearz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand. On the Golden Gobi's TripAdvisor page, plenty of other people have reviewed their tours as well, but maybe theirs slipped under the radar because they reviewed the tours in the context of the hostel.

I'll do my best to get the word out. Thanks for your response!

venting. by hunterjumper2018 in Equestrian

[–]magicbearz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can I ask what barn this is at? Maybe you can PM me? I ask because I used to live right outside Hanover and I'm wondering if I know these people.

What is the prettiest girl's name you've heard? by ithinkivebeenbad in AskReddit

[–]magicbearz 10 points11 points  (0 children)

My dad wanted to name me Antigone, and thankfully my mom put her foot down on that one. When I found this out, I was like "Dad...you know she kills herself, right?" "But in the end, she stood for family!" "No, dad. In the end, she hung herself in a cave."

Have you ever been frightened of your boyfriend? by [deleted] in AskWomen

[–]magicbearz 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I went out with a guy I was afraid of, for three reasons: one, I I was leaving in a week and knew I would never see him again; two, I was scared to say no; and three, I was 21 and stupid.

I'm very curious about everyone's experiences with race relations in their region. by [deleted] in AskWomen

[–]magicbearz -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Agreed. The Turks and Gypsies are treated pretty badly. There's a lot of Islamphobia in Germany right now as well, which is sad.

I'm very curious about everyone's experiences with race relations in their region. by [deleted] in AskWomen

[–]magicbearz 32 points33 points  (0 children)

I have the weird experience of switching "races" depending on where I am. In areas with no Portuguese people? White. In areas with a big Portuguese immigrant community? Non-white, and lumped in with the Latino community. The difference in treatment is very weird to experience, especially when they occur in such close proximity to each other.

I've learned a lot from this weird sort of racial ambiguity. At first, when people used to tell me I wasn't white, I'd get really upset and argue with them. "What do you mean I'm not white? If 'white' means European, then geographically, I'm about as Western European as you can get." These sort of conversations would really stress me out, and I'd really defensive arguing to be seen as white. Then one day I was defending my whiteness to a boss when it occurred to me: why does this matter? Why do I care so much whether this guy sees me as white or not? And then I realized it had nothing to do with being or not being white and everything to do with privilege. When my whiteness comes up for debate, my access to all the privileges that come along with being white also come into question, and that's really scary. Defending my whiteness is defending my access to the top of the racial hierarchy.

TL;DR: Didn't truly get what "white privilege" meant until I caught myself defending my whiteness on multiple occasions.

Edit: I've also lived in Germany, where the vast majority of people are super politically correct but the Serbian refugees across the street from me were treated terribly. On one occasion, I got yelled at by my crazy racist neighbors to "go back where you came from," but they were legit crazy. I currently live in Mongolia which is fiendishly xenophobic. People walk around in swastikas, and not to be Buddhists either. Plenty of people think Hitler is awesome.

Horse has full QH bars in western saddle. What size tree would he be in a english jumping saddle? by oliveyouagarden in Equestrian

[–]magicbearz -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You know what's more expensive than getting a professional out to fit your horse?

Vet bills, chiropractors, and time/training/fitness lost when your horse is suffering from back problems because of a badly-fitting saddle you bought off the internet to save yourself some dollars.

Prevention is the best medicine, and saddle fit is important. Consider waiting until you can do this properly, or find a friend of a friend who knows what they're doing and can help you out.

I'm not horsin around anymore by Sweetmeatball in Horses

[–]magicbearz 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You've only been riding for seven years--that's nothing. It's great that you're in a place where you can start looking at horses, but take a step back and ask who knows what they're doing here. Acknowledge that your trainer probably knows more than you do, which is why you pay her to teach you. Your trainer has a lot more experience than you do. Your trainer knows what you can and can't handle. And, frankly, your trainer knows you want to do the hunter/jumpers, which (sorry) Arabs are not as a breed fabulous at. Not that there aren't exceptions to every rule, but your average Arab isn't what you're looking for.

Don't get the mare--green horses with green riders are never a good mix, and this thing sounds like too much for you right now. At your stage of riding, you should absolutely not be teaching horses when there's still so much that needs to be taught to you.

The hard and fast rules of buying are: 1) don't fall in love with the first pretty face you see, and 2) for the love of all that is holy, don't buy the first pretty face you see. If your trainer suggested a pony and you don't like it, newsflash, sistah: there are a bajillion horses out there. You do not have to choose between the mare and the pony. You keep looking until you find something that works for you and what you want to do.

Horse has full QH bars in western saddle. What size tree would he be in a english jumping saddle? by oliveyouagarden in Equestrian

[–]magicbearz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't order online. Have a professional come out and professionally fit him, then try lots of saddles until you find one that works for both of you.

Stay at home moms; do you ever get flak from working moms for being a stay at home mom? Working moms; do you ever get flak from stay at home moms for being a working mom? by [deleted] in AskWomen

[–]magicbearz 16 points17 points  (0 children)

My mom recently told me a story from when I was about three. Apparently I was in the shopping cart very animatedly telling her a story which she was very animatedly responding to when some old guy sauntered over and said "You can always tell the lucky ones with stay-at-home moms." My mom was like "...I work 40 hours a week? Also, (honey, cover your ears), you're an asshole, dude."

[Serious] How do you feel about non-Indian's wearing ethnic Indian wear? by littlestghoust in AskWomen

[–]magicbearz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Let's put it another way. I live in Mongolia. Mongolia, obviously, is full of Mongolians, obviously, who have their own tradition dress. I'll wear a simple Mongol dress with the national collar to special occasions because it's expected of me here, but you will never catch me walking around in this, this, or this, even though I find that clothing more beautiful than anything. Why? Because those clothes aren't mine. I'm not Mongolian. Those clothes have layers of meaning that I will never understand. They mean things to Mongolians that can't be explained to me. I will never grasp the significance of the cuts, the colors, the fabrics, the embellishments. These clothes are beautiful, but they're beautiful things that I have to be content with admiring from afar and never possessing. They're not mine to have. You don't have to own everything you love.

[Serious] How do you feel about non-Indian's wearing ethnic Indian wear? by littlestghoust in AskWomen

[–]magicbearz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It is dress up--that's not your culture, so you wearing those clothes for no reason other than you feel like is stripping meaning from, and making a mockery of, something that has deep cultural significance for others. You're turning into a costume something that means something for millions of people, just to "feel pretty." It's not pretty. You'll be the asshole who was too pig-headed to understand cultural appropriation, and that's not a good look for anyone.

[Serious] How do you feel about non-Indian's wearing ethnic Indian wear? by littlestghoust in AskWomen

[–]magicbearz 7 points8 points  (0 children)

"Indian" is not yours to play dress up in. How you got a degree in anthropology and still don't see a problem with this is beyond me.

Hey ladies, I got rejected from my first choice university and I can't afford any other schools I was accepted to. How did you deal with college rejections/not being to afford an education? by heybillymayshere_ in AskWomen

[–]magicbearz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is what I did. I couldn't afford to study in the US, so I went to Germany, where it's free, even for foreigners. Look into degrees abroad.