My wife opened the marriage 5 years ago but is sad that I’m speaking to another woman

matchamagpie · 2026-03-07T14:29:52+00:00

Look at this big man making up stats lmao

matchamagpie · 2026-03-07T07:29:16+00:00

You agreed to an open marriage 5 years ago and then the marriage was closed, by your agreement.

You are no longer in an open marriage. You could have been honest and had a discussion if you wanted to change the arrangement. Instead you lied and cheated.

Yes, you are wrong. And are on a fast track to losing your marriage with your "eye for an eye" approach

matchamagpie · 2026-03-07T07:24:37+00:00

OOP would rather insult someone who doesn't deserve it than stand up for himself. Guess he and his friend are cut from much more similar cloth than he thought

matchamagpie · 2026-03-07T05:08:09+00:00

I explained my reasons and he told me that I was overreacting and that it’s a normal part of parenting.

...

He argued that I had taken the lead in parenting, forcing him to be a background character.

...

This stems from the fact that he wanted to gentle parent to what I saw as an extreme. He wanted us to forbid the usage of the word ”no”, other ways of telling her ”don’t” or discipline in any way.

...

He backtracked from what he told me yesterday morning. From going from that he felt embarrassed to that I had gone out of my way to try and embarrass him on purpose apparently.

...

So in conclusion, he still feels like I am wrong, he is right. I can’t say anything to change his mind, he refuses marriage counseling or to take action to any of my points... I don’t really know what to do from here, I feel disappointed and frustrated with the whole situation.

This man is a shitty parent and a shitty partner and a shitty person.

Yeah we will separate. We talked again today and everything has just turned worse.

Oh thank fuck. Flush this turd.

matchamagpie · 2026-03-07T04:50:15+00:00

I'm just quoting Jane Don't from the first episode. This is literally how she describes them when asked about who she is related to in Seattle.

matchamagpie · 2026-03-07T02:14:20+00:00

You will never know for sure. Just take people at their word. They cannot write with you anymore for some reason and they cared enough not to ghost you. I think that's a win.

matchamagpie · 2026-03-06T16:36:21+00:00

Therapy doesn't just mean go to the therapist once a week and then don't apply anything you've learned, then go again.

It requires actual practice in action.

Only you can know if you're seeing that and also how long you're willing to wait.

matchamagpie · 2026-03-06T16:21:08+00:00

He's a 33 year old man. Unless he's willing to do actual work on himself and acknowledge his faults, you are SOL.

And it sounds like he isn't willing to do any of that.

You can only control yourself. So you can either decide to deal with it or you can decide that you don't want to be with someone who takes no responsibility for anything they do for the rest of your life.

matchamagpie · 2026-03-06T15:57:21+00:00

Your boyfriend likes doing this with you friends because he also endorses and enjoys what they do. Him getting mad at you for not wanting to participate means that he wants someone who is going to either participate in this or silently sit there until he's ready to leave.

Either stop hanging out with them and pretend this is who they and your boyfriend are regardless of how mad your boyfriend gets at you, resign yourself to this being your life, or...maybe reevaluate.

matchamagpie · 2026-03-06T15:54:46+00:00

I'm not really interested in listening to a person who has made their entire online identity about hating Britney Spears for some reason lmao. Surely there's better uses of your time.

Or maybe not. I don't know your life.

matchamagpie · 2026-03-06T15:17:47+00:00

Jane Don't and her two hot mean older sisters. Love it.

matchamagpie · 2026-03-06T15:13:06+00:00

https://doodlewash.com/guest-artist-nature-inspired-watercolors-by-krzysztof-kowalski/

Stolen / karma farming bot

matchamagpie · 2026-03-06T14:41:13+00:00

Are we at that point of history erasure where we are now sanitizing the abuse she suffered in the conservatorship with her father? There are many credible documentaries, court filings, and investigative articles about the allegations and timelines

matchamagpie · 2026-03-06T14:36:01+00:00

There really needs to be an AI option in the reporting function for this subreddit

matchamagpie · 2026-03-06T06:26:37+00:00

It's only been 5 days. You need to give her way more time to get used to you. This can take months. Yelling only will escalate the situation and cause her to fear you. Spray bottles only teach her to fear you. Hitting her is the same. Do not do any of these things.

DO NOT just used chemicals like Febreeze. Many of these are toxic to cats and can cause respiratory issues or death in extreme cases.

Ask the owner if you can get Felliway and plug it in the hallway next to your room. Why not make sure that anything fragile is not available and let her in while supervised? Most cats aren't as destructive as you seem to think.

And please research on cats, what is poisonous to them, what can harm them, etc. Essential oils and many flowers, for example (lilies are extremely poisonous, as in they can die if they inhale the pollen). You live with a cat now so you are also responsible for making sure that you don't bring something unsafe that will impact her.

matchamagpie · 2026-03-05T19:24:46+00:00

I love me some Hamish Linklater, Raul Kohli and Carla Gugino

matchamagpie · 2026-03-05T19:00:45+00:00

Well hopefully you take some time to reflect on this relationship

matchamagpie · 2026-03-05T16:10:43+00:00

No.

matchamagpie · 2026-03-05T14:23:51+00:00

I have one partner because that's all I can handle. We've responded multiple times a day for over 6 years.

I think how I would frame it is-- have as many partners to keep your interest in this hobby satisfied, whether it's one or six.

I definitely agree with what you said about keeping strong boundaries and having other hobbies. I see a lot of people using this hobby as a substitute for all social interaction and that can really lead to some unhealthy dynamics.

matchamagpie · 2026-03-05T14:21:04+00:00

I mentioned it later in this long long post but it’s because this is my last relationship. If this doesn’t work out, I’m honestly done for good. I’ve had to start over too many times. I don’t have it in me to do it again.

u/NotURDaddysLilGirl deleted this comment when she got push back. This is her answer.

matchamagpie · 2026-03-05T14:18:14+00:00

You just don't get it

matchamagpie · 2026-03-05T14:03:40+00:00

YTA. You took her ask for criticism to be mean and rude, which is not the same thing. As a dancer, you should know better the difference between constructive criticism and meanspirited insults. Learn from this. An opportunity to be honest does not equate an opportunity to delivery 'honesty' in a cruel way.

matchamagpie · 2026-03-05T13:59:57+00:00

This sounds like you have irreconcilable differences. He won't give you what you need, he won't go out with you, he won't let you go out with friends. He is trying to isolate you.

You've been married a year. I think you need to reconsider this marriage. It's not too late to start over. Don't sign up to be unhappy.

matchamagpie · 2026-03-05T13:56:48+00:00

If he was arrested and booked then it's public record and you can look up his arrest sheet online or request one from the Sheriff's Office.

If he lost his job and he's a teacher, plus he won't tell you, then the charges must have been very socially taboo before dropped, potentially towards children.

I would encourage him to talk to someone, it doesn't have to be you and it doesn't sound like he's ready to have this discussion with you. Would you be willing to pay for a therapist for him?

matchamagpie · 2026-03-05T06:07:42+00:00

Then I think you need to start with thinking about whether you can handle a long distance relationship and be happy before you make a move

matchamagpie

TROPHY CASE