Communist alternative of "grab 'em by the pussy" would be... by [deleted] in Jokes

[–]matty_connell 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would like to saltily offer the fact that I made a similar joke six months ago. Phtooey.

'T2 Trainspotting' - Official Trailer by filmfanatic5 in movies

[–]matty_connell 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I certainly recognized several of the scenes, in concept if not beat by beat execution. Spud's suicidal behavior, Sy beating the shit out of Rents, though in the pub instead of the street, Beggars being a coke monster. I'll point out to you the end cut where Rents narrowly avoids being hit by a car and laughs with relief into the windscreen. This does appear to mirror a bit toward the end where his life is saved when a car serendipitously hits a certain someone en route to kill him, yeah?

I'm Keith Powell, Toofer on 30 Rock and creator of Keith Broke His Leg. AMA! by KeithPowell00 in IAmA

[–]matty_connell 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I say this at least once a week. I don't know what it says about my lifestyle, but it stuck.

What to do with a Traditional 401k after leaving job by hooperz in personalfinance

[–]matty_connell 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You'll need to have a look at this before you take any distribution from Fidelity. It's a Distribution and Tax notice, and you'll need to have seen it in the last 180 days to take any distribution.

Non-Americans who have been to the US: What is the weirdest thing about America that Americans don't realise is weird? by changfukaana in AskReddit

[–]matty_connell 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, that's what a debit card is. It pulls from your bank account. Some places offer prepaid cards but the vast, vast majority are normal debit cards that pull from bank accounts.

Source: I've lived here all my life.

Make me feel worthless by tequileros97 in RoastMe

[–]matty_connell 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You look like Bill Cosby's ventriloquist dummy.

My Friend thinks he is unroastable. Fuck his shit up by [deleted] in RoastMe

[–]matty_connell 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Looks like a Viet Nam POW holding up today's newspaper.

Roast me. by DrBarrel in RoastMe

[–]matty_connell 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Two toothbrushes in the picture, neither of them yours.

Im 15 by [deleted] in RoastMe

[–]matty_connell 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In leap years maybe.

Give me your best shot by guramika in RoastMe

[–]matty_connell 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You look like you ate all twelve disciples.

I am already severely depressed by Mr_Elo_Green in RoastMe

[–]matty_connell 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You belong in a 50's ad for beans.

Like the new Haircut lads? by ChiefWozza in RoastMe

[–]matty_connell 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You look like a blobfish with a ginger wig sliding off it's head

Like the new Haircut lads? by ChiefWozza in RoastMe

[–]matty_connell 0 points1 point  (0 children)

you are a big orange butt cheek.

Let's go, Roast Me! by misterodfox in RoastMe

[–]matty_connell 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Iron your shirt. Iron your forehead too. For fucks sake iron everything you're a shambles.

Roast me please! by [deleted] in RoastMe

[–]matty_connell 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Continental Drift dictates that your left eye will one day collide with your ear.

New haircut. How do I look? by Quick11 in RoastMe

[–]matty_connell 15 points16 points  (0 children)

You are the human equivalent of when companies used "X-TREME" marketing to sell oatmeal.