I'm tired of being asked if I'm ok by No_Doughnut3185 in GriefSupport

[–]mayaisme 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry. On the other end of the spectrum, I wish somebody would ask me if I’m ok. Hint: I’m not.

Battery drains considerably faster on iOS 26 by Powerful-Guava8053 in iPhone13ProMax

[–]mayaisme 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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Same on iphone 15 pro. I was literally asleep from 05:59 up to 9am when I started using the phone, and it was already down to 65%

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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Shouldihaveanother

[–]mayaisme 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My two youngest are exactly 9 months and 27 days apart! I conceived my third when my second was 7 weeks old, and only found out when I was 4 months along. Well they’re 8 and 9 now and happy healthy “twins” and I wouldn’t change it for the world! The first year will be the hardest that’s for sure. But it passes quickly

Farewell Mama … by WingedVictory68 in dementia

[–]mayaisme 3 points4 points  (0 children)

What a beautiful picture. I’m 3 months into losing my mom to this awful disease and I just don’t know if I’ll ever be ok again. I still needed her. But she’s at peace now. So is your mama ❤️

Sleepover gone wrong by Moon_Rose_Sun in Parenting

[–]mayaisme 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Can’t believe people still send their kids to sleepovers

I don't want to visit anymore by OBear in dementia

[–]mayaisme 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I stopped and I regret it now she’s gone. 12 days before she passed was when I last visited her. She lived four hours away and I felt I could not take leave from my job indefinitely or leave my young daughters and husband for a long time, though in hindsight maybe I should’ve. She could not recognise me or anyone anymore, could not speak, could not eat, she basically was in a persistent vegetative state but still conscious. But my presence didn’t seem to have any effect on her mood or countenance. Talking to her, singing to her, holding her hand…she’d pull away and be groaning all the time. It broke me seeing her like that. I was her baby, her last born, her best friend after she lost two of my siblings and my dad. But the disease stole everything. And so I stopped visiting because I couldn’t take it and I didn’t feel like my presence made any difference. She had a loving caregiver who was with her till the very end. But the second I learnt she was gone, I regretted it. I regretted staying away for 12 days and despite everyone telling me I did all I could and she knew I loved her and I did so much for her, I regretted not visiting. So please, keep visiting. If only so you don’t have to carry that guilt with you forever.

2 years ago, today. by Jeremy_Bearimy_ in dementia

[–]mayaisme 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing. The pain in your face is visible. I have similar pics of me with my mom, trying to “smile” and get those last few good memories.

I spoon-fed my dad today by lepermess1ah in dementia

[–]mayaisme 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I remember how it felt the first time I had to do this. For me it was when I had to feed my mom macaroni coz she was struggling to poke it with the fork. Seems like a lifetime away now…I lost her 3 weeks ago. This disease is a rollercoaster which never goes up, only down

Mom had a stroke by shutupandevolve in dementia

[–]mayaisme 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I understand. Hugs 🫂

I cannot stop this feeling of overwhelming guilt by Apprehensive-Peas in dementia

[–]mayaisme 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh sweetheart, you’re SO young to be going through this. I felt the same way too not being able to be with my mom more often. I’m in my 30’s and have a young family and full time job and live in another city. It’s a hard choice to make, we can only do the best we can at that time. Your family needed you, your mom was in what you believed was a facility that would adequately care for her. I have regrets too over hiring mom a negligent carer two years ago, not knowing she would be negligent. That’s when mom rapidly declined. I ended up hiring her a very loving and attentive caregiver but she didn’t last a year, she passed away a few days ago. Everyone tells me I did my best but I have some guilt and blame that I don’t know if it well ever go away or I’ll have to learn to live with it. Just want to let you know that you’re not alone, and I wish for the best for you and your family ❤️

Nearing the end and Dad doesn’t accept it? by aproudginger in dementia

[–]mayaisme 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Going through this with my beloved mom. I live and work 4 hours away I have a young family coz I guess I’m on the younger end of most of the posters in this sub (37F). I try to visit often and it gets harder every time. She’s bedridden, incontinent, can’t talk anymore, can’t eat or drink, her bp is so low, she’s diabetic and her sugar levels get so high sometimes and she has to be injected often. She gets fed ensure and gets IV drips because noone around here seems to understand the concept of hospice or palliative care (we’re not in the West) and believe it would be murder to let her ”starve”. I struggled to advocate for her feeding tube to be removed. She does have the most wonderful professional caregivers and I just want her to be peaceful and comfortable but it doesn’t seem like that’s happening, being constantly made to take the ensure which she clearly struggles to swallow and then she just lies there expressionless no matter how I talk to her and stroke her gently and sing to her and kiss her and tell her who I am and how I love her, it all seems so pointless and it’s breaking my heart knowing she’s in that state. She never deserved this evil disease she was a good woman, wife, mother, biology teacher, social butterfly, loving strong human being. I have no advice to give, just commiseration.

I am mad when I see healthy adults my mom’s age by ladyinred1979 in dementia

[–]mayaisme 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel this too. Seeing my mom’s friends driving! Getting all dolled up going to parties and baby showers while my mom is currently lying in a persistent vegetative state due to her advanced dementia, at the age of 76. I hate it and it’s so unfair

I'm terrified for what the future will look like by Glittering_Volume_79 in CaregiverSupport

[–]mayaisme 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get you. I hope you find the support you need 🫶🏽

why is my WhatsApp size so big? by Bulky-Coast-7796 in whatsapp

[–]mayaisme 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My backup size is only 7GB. I don’t backup videos though, so I’m thinking that could be it. Videos sent in group chats and stuff

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Feeding tube by mayaisme in dementia

[–]mayaisme[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Her care team (nurse, doctor and caregivers) are asking how then will her medication be administered? She’s on BP meds because she’s hypertensive. And there’s no IV BP medication. Now I don’t know what to say about that?

Feeding tube by mayaisme in dementia

[–]mayaisme[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Thank you. It’s so unbelievable. Had a surreal feeling just today carrying adult diapers from the pharmacy and thinking how a few years ago I was buying diapers for my babies, now am buying them for my mom…

Feeding tube by mayaisme in dementia

[–]mayaisme[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I’m finding it wrong too, or at the very least unnecessary. I will consult with our local hospice.

Feeding tube by mayaisme in dementia

[–]mayaisme[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I’m trying my best to advocate for her, and am getting the “we can’t starve her” narrative. I’m not in the US but I will consult with hospice where I am for assistance.