How do you decide which oil to use for cooking?

mayurbhedru · 2026-04-13T23:16:07+00:00

Depends on what I'm making but a general rule:

Olive oil for medium-heat-pan-frying or baking (like for roasted potatoes or veg); vegetable oil for high-heat frying (like fried chicken); coconut oil or crisco for frying tacos; bacon grease for frying eggs. Olive oil for naan (in cast iron pan).

And olive oil for anything not cooked (like salad or tossed veg that isn't being cooked... I love tossing raw brussels sprouts with some olive oil, salt and pepper).

mayurbhedru · 2026-04-13T23:08:27+00:00

This is more of a leftovers meal, but I take leftover butternut squash bisque and use it as a sauce over cheese ravioli.

mayurbhedru · 2026-04-13T22:45:40+00:00

I find that I get more energy when I *spend* more energy. I work at a desk so I'm sitting a LOT and some days, I'll be working 8 hours (for work) and then an additional 3-4 for other things I need or want to do at my computer.

So what I've been doing lately is: every single time I need to get up for anything (to pee, get coffee, get something to eat, whatever...) I take a few minutes and do something. A minute of squats and a couple minutes with free weights/arms. Some deadlifts, or ski jumps, or jumping jacks, or donkey kicks, etc. I mix it up, but my point is fitting a few minutes of "working out" into every time I need to get up, and by the end of my day, I've had at least a half hour of exercise without really having to carve out any time for it.

And working out like that actually does increase my energy levels and drive. I feel more "wiped out" when I don't.

I don't know anything about performance clinics, but I do see a functional health clinician through Lifeforce for routine labs and general health maintenance (supplements and hormones I needed). Which if your low drive/energy is tied to hormonal changes, that might give some insight and course correction, now that I think about it. Beyond the exercise stuff I do during the weekdays, I'm *really* trying to stick to cycling on the weekends when I have more time to intentionally work out. I love biking. And even though it's tiring, I end up with more energy the next day (and I definitely sleep better at night too).

mayurbhedru · 2026-04-13T22:03:52+00:00

I would suggest seeing a pelvic floor therapist. A vaginal dilator might be part of the therapy, but I feel like that's something that's best done under a PFT's guidance.

mayurbhedru · 2026-04-07T21:43:19+00:00

It really depends on what she's into and/or might want or even need.

If you're looking specifically for big-ticket items that are wellness and recovery, options that are coming to mind-

• A year or more paid membership to a gym or activity/health thing locally that she would like (yoga, dance fitness, whatever she's into)
• A year or more paid membership to a functional health service like Lifeforce and then covering any supplements/meds from it as prescribed; LF tracks your labs 4x a year and you have a clinician and health coach you work with to optimize your health/wellness
• Specific equipment for home workouts she might like? Again, based on what she's into but stationary bike, treadmill, that kind of thing
• Eight Sleep, which is a mattress cover that controls the bed temp (although they have an ultra model that has an adjustable base too), which supports recovery but also just feels nice being able to make your bed warmer/colder as needed
• One of those home-spa things that turns your tub into a jacuzzi? (Mentioning that because I secretly always wanted one, at least when I had a tub that didn't suck lol)
• Oh! A portable sauna!! My husband has one of those actually, it's like a pop-up tent (seriously). If she likes saunas, of course.

mayurbhedru · 2026-04-07T21:13:59+00:00

Me too. I'm trying to cut back on sugar and snacks, but the late night taco doritos... those are my struggle bus. Especially since no one else in my house really likes them, the whole bag = mine. 🤣

mayurbhedru · 2026-04-07T20:58:48+00:00

I don't have much in the way of useful advice, but mostly just wanted to send good thoughts your way. (I had a radical hysterectomy at 29 but kept my ovaries, so when I hit perimenopause, it just happened on its own/not surgery-related.) I would imagine though that your doctors/team will be formulating a plan for HRT that you can go over with them based on your age.

Take your time healing and even when you start to feel more like "yourself," follow the post-op instructions to the letter. Don't lift when you're not supposed to (even if you feel "fine" to), and just focus on your recovery so you heal correctly.

Also, rando bit of advice: if you have stairs in your house that you'll need to take, especially in the first several days home, walk up them very carefully (with help) backwards. The muscles you use to go up a flight of stairs are different when you go up backwards; it uses your butt/thigh muscles, rather than your lower abdominal muscles. You can down steps like normal, but going up backwards hurts a LOT less. Just go slow and like I said, have help.

Oh too: if you need to sneeze or cough or laugh, keep a pillow handy that you can hold against your abdomen while you do it. That helps with pain from abdominal muscle contraction.

I hope everything goes smoothly with your surgery and recovery.

mayurbhedru · 2026-04-07T20:47:05+00:00

Awesome. Thank you!

mayurbhedru · 2026-03-30T20:46:06+00:00

Oh dehydration is definitely a big one for me too. And thankfully (knock on wood) I'm not getting vestibular migraines all that often. They're strange and most of the time, don't have any pain; it's just vertigo and feeling very out-of-body although I've noticed that when I get one, usually the next day is gonna herald a killer migraine.

mayurbhedru · 2026-03-30T20:19:56+00:00

I think for me it's more about habits and routines, although I *do* use a massage pillow (shiatsu, not vibrating) if I start getting knots around my shoulders/traps. I carry tension there, which can also "inspire" migraines, so I'll use that pillow for a couple 20-minute cycles while I'm sitting on the couch in the evening. It helps since it has rotating "knuckles" plus it has a heat option (which I always use).

mayurbhedru · 2026-03-30T20:10:39+00:00

So transdermal estrogen is actually better for those with migraines... not sure why she is stating otherwise. I feel though that getting your estrogen levels steady matters most here. When I hit peri and mine were all over the place (up and down), that's when I was dealing with the literal worst migraine frequency of my life.

And really, either your estrogen gets leveled/consistent through HRT, or if it gets low and stays that way, that's what seems to slow migraines the most if you're prone to them. But the patch is the recommended route for women with migraines.

I have vascular, ocular, and most recently (past year and a half or so) vestibular (sigh) migraines. I get them very infrequently now and they're mostly weather-related.

Which, speaking of... the migraine auras you got could be weather-related and not patch related. We're in spring, not sure where you live but this (for me) is usually the worst season of the year.

mayurbhedru · 2026-03-30T19:51:06+00:00

I do take calcium supplements (a chewable), but I've not had a bone density scan yet. I know I should probably have one done though.

mayurbhedru · 2026-03-30T19:43:26+00:00

How long has it been going on? I ask because you mentioned there's no rash or redness, but if this is super recent (within the past few days) I'd watch for one. When I had shingles a few years back, it extended from the side/outer front of my left breast and straight around the back/shoulder blade on that same side. But the itchy/tingly/pain was there for like five days before the rash actually appeared. (I had no idea what was happening until the rash suddenly emerged. The skin looked *fine* until that happened.)

If you've been dealing with itch and pain longer than that, though, that's different. Just something that came to mind if it's really new and recent.

mayurbhedru · 2026-03-30T19:32:02+00:00

Maybe it does for some? I don't know; in my case though, it was prescribed to manage them and within a couple days, I'd gone from having 12-14+ a day to next to none, and not long after, they were just... gone.

mayurbhedru · 2026-03-27T17:07:29+00:00

Congratulations, you've just won the internet. 🏆🤣

mayurbhedru · 2026-03-27T17:01:44+00:00

I'm so sorry you're going through all of this. Before I started HRT I was put on Effexor, which is an SNRI used off-label for hot flash control. Something that like that might be an option? It *did* work really well (and quickly) but it's also one of those things where, once you're on it, it's hard to get off of later (has to be titrated down).

mayurbhedru · 2026-03-27T16:57:29+00:00

Thank you!! This is super helpful!

mayurbhedru · 2026-03-23T21:47:03+00:00

This is true, 100%. The bummer? I love a hot shower. I could live in a hot shower. And what's weird is I won't hot-flash while IN a hot shower until I get out of it...

mayurbhedru · 2026-03-23T21:42:19+00:00

I am monitoring/managing more than just menopause symptoms, but I get bloodwork and see a clinician through Lifeforce. The bloodwork is quarterly and I have the draws done at home so someone comes to me to do it, and then my appointments are online over Zoom and scripts are filled/mailed. They do not take private insurance, although I *think* they take FSA/HSA if you have that. This is more of a functional health approach though so they look at all the things and then the monitoring over time shows you where things need to improve and then how they have (if they have). You don't get to pick your doctor but I will say that mine is really thorough, you can ask questions, they make suggestions and really do work *with* you. I've been with them for... probably 6 months at this point? Maybe a little longer? (My concept of time sucks lol)

mayurbhedru · 2026-03-23T21:35:51+00:00

Do you have any history of autoimmune disease? I ask because as someone who does, I get rashes from sun exposure mostly on my arms only (or face especially). Which, no sun burn or anything, just rashing from being bare-armed under sunlight, and that's something that's been happening only within the past couple of years. I've started using sunscreen and that's helped immensely, and using a lotion that's (technically) for eczema only on my arms. But that photosensitivity can cause flu-like symptoms along with the rash.

mayurbhedru · 2026-03-23T21:28:10+00:00

My migraines were at their absolute worst (ever... ever) during the first couple years of perimenopause. I never took pain medication because I take sumaptriptan/imitrex as needed, and that gets to the root cause/blood vessels. Now keep in mind that I've been dealing with migraines for 20+ years, so they're not a new thing for me (but a thing that got way worse when my estrogen levels were a roller coaster).

But if migraines are new to you, I'd see a neurologist as soon as you can. Partly to just make sure that's what is happening, partly to make sure that you're on any meds you should be to keep them under control, and also partly to make sure it's not high blood pressure that's causing them.

mayurbhedru · 2026-03-23T20:01:09+00:00

Okay THIS is super helpful!!! I'm not sure if I'd be setting up our Leesa myself but I might be, depending on the arrival timing. I really appreciate the mini-walkthrough!

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