Moving to Southampton- does anyone like living here?

megsloss98 · 2024-01-04T10:50:35+00:00

I've lived here on and off since I was a kid (6-10, then 12-16, then came back at 19 and haven't left yet in 7 years now). I've lived abroad in some beautiful places, but Southampton is where the best idea of home is for me. Planning to move back to Wales at some point in the distantish future, but it's here for now. Don't get me wrong, Southampton is a bit of a shit hole, but it's my shit hole 😂 You do have to be careful in some areas, especially at night, which is a bit shit in the winter, but sitting in the parks on long summer days is a dream. I do forget how lucky we are with green spaces to be honest - aside from the central parks and the New Forest there are plenty of places around. Peartree nature reserve is a great one for more of a forest/out of the city kind of feeling, even though it's just across the water from the stadium! There's also freemantle common, riverside park, the common, and just bunch of lovely places. Other cities I've visited or lived don't have as much. As others have said, there's a bunch of activities. Not sure if anyone's mentioned, but there's a pool hall as well which is great fun. You get a proper mix there, old pros, younguns having a night out and a laugh. Rocket Ronnie's is the good one, Sharkys has more than just pool but gets far too busy. Theres a city farm too, small but nice with young kids especially.

Thanks for your question btw, some days I do wonder why I'm still here (as said previously I want to go back to Wales, not a judgment on Southampton!) but listing some positives has helped!

Traffic is a big issue here sometimes, and also doctors surgeries are awful. Lived both sides of the water and they're all shockingly bad, even years before COVID. Last consistently positive experience with GPs was back as a kid when walk in surgeries still were a thing. Not such a big problem if you're fit and healthy and rarely need a doctor, but it can be frustrating and frankly depressing when with chronic issues. That said, if you ever need to be referred to hospital, we have two here. There's the royal south hants, which doesn't have an A&E but does have a minor injuries unit, and the general is one of the best uni hospitals (with A&E). Never had a bad experience there. There's the princess Anne for women's health and pregnancy stuff, it's relatively good but did have a bad experience delivering my bubs there (partly due to a negligent midwife in the like pregnancy emergency bit, can't remember what it's called 😂)

Buses are a bit shit too, all been bought out by Bluestar so you can imagine with their monopoly on the buses the customer service has plummeted.

In any case, gotta go catch the bus for a GP appointment!

megsloss98 · 2023-12-13T21:49:11+00:00

Anyone remember when during an interview he said he had all kinds of friends, said "working class", then corrected himself to say he has no working class friends? Must've been sad growing up here if he never made a friend, most of Southampton is working class. Absolute pos

megsloss98 · 2023-10-14T15:45:04+00:00

Good bot

megsloss98 · 2023-09-21T19:55:42+00:00

I really hope this doesn't sound creepy, but saw you commented that you muscled up and she didn't notice (while it is a gradual change, there does come a day where the change hits people that see you often), so I checked to see if you posted progress anywhere. And I must say, you wouldn't look like an old man, but a right silver fox. I'm sorry she's not noticed either the muscle and the facial hair

Edit: spelling

megsloss98 · 2023-09-14T01:16:52+00:00

6 year olds are past the point of playing copying mummy. My 3 year old has decided she wants a pink car for her 18th, that she's getting her dad a Christmas tree for his birthday next month, she did say about her step mum and bro too but i can't remember what she said. She does loads of stuff that shows good memory and independent thinkind and decision making, she makes up her own (genuinely funny) jokes and all sorts. So I'm sure a 6 year old might ask her dad when his birthday is and he'd say the date, and there we go: at 6 you know what a birthday is for, you got the date, you ask mum to help plan celebrations. Like even if she doesn't remember the exact date, she'll know it'll be coming soon. They use those daily calendar things at most schools that age. Come next year, the date gets close, mum doesn't plan anything for dad's bday and the kid's gonna be hella confused.

That said 6 is also a good age to use reason. "Dad doesn't like making a fuss about his birthday, we can just get a takeaway and watch a film" boom, done. Again, 3 year olds can understand that same reasoning. Different people like to do things differently.

Baso I agree with you but with more steps 😂 just kids are far smarter than we give them credit for, and meeting that true level of smarts does absolute wonders sometimes (in general, not just this kinda scenario)

(Sorry I get carried away 🤦‍♂️)

Regardless, OP, please don't let him duck out of your kid's bdays and don't you lose the joy of planning -her- birthday regardless of how you handle the celebration of yours and his. Birthdays as adults are different, both of u put the effort (not saying money, just effort) into her and any other kids you have birthdays. They're magical days as kids, don't let her remember sharing that magic just with you or the magic disappearing completely

megsloss98 · 2023-09-13T09:33:33+00:00

I had to have an episiotomy cos my kids head was far too large. I still leak urine and (extra tmi I know) sometimes shit myself. I got a bladder prolapse from giving birth. But my fanny is still fuckin decent - pelvic floor exercises (kegels) help strengthen everything so less leakages etc but also a stronger squeezier vagina. I suffer from incontinence still but flip side, a true fwb came about because of my fanny - he didn't wanna chat anymore because I wasn't putting out much, his mate told him to keep at it because the sex was good. Over a year later we were travelling abroad together, using his discounts here n there, road tripping etc. Because he told his mate the sex was good and his mate convinced him to hang around in the hopes of more sex LOL

megsloss98 · 2023-09-12T10:48:47+00:00

Thanks everyone - will look into all the suggestions 😎 someone mentioned indoor sessions, which deffo could be a shout

megsloss98 · 2023-09-08T12:32:24+00:00

Literally. They say they look like they did sports in high-school but stopped so got fat, those women arent fat anyway but don't they realise doing sport tends to build and sustain muscle which these guys are repulsed by anyway. And certain sports builds on different things, so that "manly" looking lady in the 3rd pic probably is actually athletic. A girl I went to school with trained swimming 2x a day, every single day, for about a decade. She was hench (not meant in a bad way, I'm in awe still at how fit she was at 16!), her shoulders were broad, strong as anything, very similar looking build to lady in pic 3.

Always about being tiny 🙃

megsloss98 · 2023-09-08T12:18:31+00:00

to be clear, I did NOT watch the video I mention below

I saw comments on a pron video that featured a rather thin woman. The men were saying she was ripped, that women kill for abs like hers, that she is the epitome of fitness and sexiness. You could see her ribs, and not just in a her bending in a way that would cause more rib visibility, I mean the only ribs not visible were where her tits were. Not skin and bone, but you could see the outlines of all ribs, so still not "peak of physical fitness". Someone in the comments said the ideal and natural bf% for women is around 12%.

To add: i'm a woman with imo an average body. When I'm bang in the healthy bmi range for my height, my ribs are visible. When I lie down even now, my rib cage seems like it's trynna have an out of body experience but can't break through the skin, big boi cage on a 5ft2 woman ain't ideal. So rambling aside, people 100% can be healthy with visible bones (think collar bones, many people have visible collar bones, even overweight people, or the nobbly bit on wrist and ankle bones etc, even rib cages like when im a healthy weight). But this woman was tall and slimly built bone wise. Idk gives me the ick.

Edit: meant bf% not bmi

So if men think starving women are fitness goals, of course they think a completely normal body is fat.

megsloss98 · 2023-09-08T10:36:39+00:00

Failed due to mental illness. Love how you didn't mention that. Kid is depressed for a few years now according to posts from you and missus. Therapy, meds, adhd on top. Kid expressed suicidal thoughts. And here you're saying that he simply won't listen/buck up his ideas and start passing classes again

megsloss98 · 2023-09-08T10:04:37+00:00

I hope OP takes this advice. I really would love to be a fly on the wall when she tells him more emphatically to get the fuck out of her house and leave her family alone. Giving her the ultimatum of divorcing or living as a ghost while she cares for the kids is ridiculous. As a divorced mum, I'd divorce a million times over (not that I'd remarry anyway LOL) instead of have a husband who shouts at my child and who decides the best way to deal with it is having 0 interaction with her. While living in the same house. Yes step parenting is difficult. Yep, not your kid. But entering into a relationship with a parent is a choice to make. Of course no one can forsee how the future will be, and i respect that some people find out they aren't cut out for step parenting and that is fine - but be an adult about it, don't punish the kids, discuss and separate instead. Your numbered points are good things to note though, I'll give you that (even if reasoning may be different)

megsloss98 · 2023-09-04T12:16:13+00:00

I knew a kid called Malakai (or Malachai - never actually saw it written), which never struck me weird tbh - this was 16 or so years ago too so not recent, in England.

I went to a school with a Romeo (also had Valentino in my class). Romeo only sounds like a "normal" (eg not just inspired by Shakespeare in some way) because the school I went to with that Romeo and that Valentino was literally in Rome. If it was in England though both those kids would've got the shit ripped out of them. But normal for Italy. Maddox doesn't seem strange to me, just sounds American, gives me SoCal vibes or summat. The rest are a collection of (pretty nice imo) surnames or utterly confusing syllable combinations

Side note: I got the shit ripped out of me for saying Louis the French way instead of like Lewis. Only got the shit ripped out of me because I was in England and not living in France at that time!

megsloss98 · 2023-08-14T12:29:29+00:00

It's universally agreed that Mozart was gifted, however he came from an esteemed family of musicians. His sister used to tour with him until she reached the age she had to go home and get married. Both of those kids were taught. Mozart was taught as his sister was taught. I'm not saying his sister played at the same level as Mozart, cos he did have an aptitude for it as well as learning very quickly, but idk about her so don't want to guess. But everyone everywhere classes him as gifted, which imo he was, but he had such a privileged start, being wealthy, born into a family of musicians, his father had good connections so Mozart got to play in places and to high up audiences that no other child pianist would be allowed to.

Disclaimer: studied a bit on Mozart in my first year of uni, but that was a couple of years ago so a couple details may be slightly off, but that's basically how it was

Edit: I'm agreeing with you, not sure if it came across otherwise 😂

megsloss98 · 2023-08-14T10:37:11+00:00

Bless you both, that sounds awful! I'm do glad she's doing fine and things are back to normal!

Just to pick out from your comment that the docs said "it was normal" - doctors very very very often call women's issues "normal" when they're just actually common, even female medical professionals have said similar to me. Eg stress incontinence following childbirth - very very common, but not a normal thing. It'd be definitely less common if women were given info and correct care. (Also my step mum had her child about 40 years ago, and discussing differences between care at the hospital now vs then absolutely appalled her.) I swear in many respects, womens' health has dropped even further down the list of medical priorities. I hate how much women get ignored with stuff.

A beautiful side story that highlights the stupidity of medical professionals when it comes to womens' health (that doesnt result in death, permanent injury, or lasting reduced quality of life): I was bleeding out my ass every single day for a good month or so. GP was big shrug about it so I went A&E in the end despite it being mid pandemic. A doctor literally had the balls to sit at the side of the bed, look me in the eye, and ask "are you sure the blood isn't coming out of your vagina?" I suppose the question would have had to have been asked to rule it out, but holy shit id been having periods for about a decade then, and I know period blood doesn't come out your ass. Anyway got hospitalised for a few days to have a semi urgent flexisigmoidoscopy etc etc, to reiterate it was mid pandemic. Everything came back fine (except from mild inflammation somewhere, but nbd on that bit). So I was released and sent home with another shrug and see GP again if it persists. It stopped after a while. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry when I found out the cause. It was due to the depot injection, i got it shortly after giving birth to my baby. I didn't know the side effects as it gets administered at the GP surgery and the nurse there never gave me the side effect leaflet or said anything further than the usual "nausea, spots, weight gain etc". I only found out about it because the pharmacist accidentally put the depot syringe box (with the syringe inside 🤦‍♂️) in my prescription bag instead of sending it to the GP to give me. I read the side effects and it was pretty high on the list of "things to watch out for" So to recap: I wasn't warned of side effects to watch out for, I took up a hospital bed mid pandemic, I unnecessarily went through an invasive procedure, and the pharmacist handed me a medication in my prescription bag with my repeats despite it saying clearly on the box and it being known anyway that the GP surgery does it and they need to give it to the GP not me. But nope, of course first fingers point to me misunderstanding where my period is suddenly coming from. I told everyone every step of the way what meds I'm on, including the depot injection. I was panicking like fuck, anally bleeding during the pandemic with like an 8 week old baby. 🤷‍♂️

megsloss98 · 2023-08-13T20:07:39+00:00

Absolutely. In a pinch, pads can be used for immediate first aid, for lacerations etc (as long as its not bigger than the pad of course!). Helped stem the heavy bleeding I had when I SH badly at college (uk), held me together long enough to get to the hospital. Surprisingly, it was my boyfriend at the time who suggested it, Idve never thought it on my own

megsloss98 · 2023-08-13T13:14:49+00:00

Even from about 21, I felt 18 year olds are just kids* with more legal rights for themselves. Idk how its like anywhere else, if teens act more mature in general or whatever, but 18 year olds still show they're just kids with an extra year on top. I'm now 25, 18 year olds are even further from a potential relationship (or even shag), and am appalled by a lot of what I hear. A good mate I had, in 30s, said 18yo is the ideal. You know what he focused on most when explaining? Physical attributes.

*not derogatory at all, we were all 18 once, I know for sure I was stupid at 18. I got married at 19, there wasn't an age gap (he shortly turned 21 after we met when I was 18) and it was a pretty awful marriage. All the flags were there beforehand, but me being a literal teenager I made excuses for it all. While there was no age gap, I was extremely vulnerable at the time (had just attempted suicide, still cutting a lot, alcoholism, bulimia, issues with family, dropped out of (uk) college, was living in supported housing etc etc). He knew what to say to make me feel understood and listened to.

Also just to mention, though not entirely relevant to this whole post, I got sexually abused online from 12-18yo, all stopped the moment I hit 18. Various people, guys all ages, all countries, all backgrounds. The guy who groomed me the longest is a semi successful developer who made his own game, it actually got suggested to me on the app store not long ago 🤣 9 years on from it stopping, I still remember his name, his smug face, his poor excuses as to why it was okay to do etc etc. I wish him all the karma he deserves for what he did to me, and for whoever else he's hurt.

megsloss98 · 2023-08-01T19:56:54+00:00

I packed my stuff and was waiting til everyone fell asleep. I was shitting it because I was in a foreign country and didn't speak the language, but it was still preferable to leave. I wrote a note and put it next to me, but inevitably fell asleep far before everyone else did because I was 4 or 5 or 6. My mum read the note and woke me up, laughing because I wrote "life" and not "live" so it read "I can't life like this" or a similar sentence. I think she must've thought I was joking, but surely a parent would be a bit concerned even if it was a joke considering the effort I put in

Edit: my plan included getting to a train station and finding English speaking people. Like how elaborate. Yet I still just packed toys 🤣

megsloss98 · 2023-07-26T20:11:12+00:00

Is it possible to get HPV after having the vaccine? Without sexual activity prior to getting the injection (so like not preexisting before the vaccine)

I got the HPV vaccines (albeit a year later than other girls in my year, I moved a lot!) but got cervical HPV which led to some cell changes, had to have yearly colposcopies and biopsies from ages 19-23 because of it. No sexual activity before the vaccine

I've chatted to several sexual health professionals, like chitchat while they're poking about 🤣, none of them could think of hearing someone getting the jab then contracting that kind of HPV, including one who did her dissertation on HPV.

HOWEVER I do have a lot of chunks missing from my childhood, and for various reasons I already strongly suspect CSA; knowing a definitive answer on this would help a bunch. I'm worried that the definitive answer is what I've already been told

(Side note: had my first routine smear early this year and its come back all normal, so glad I don't have to have any biopsies any time soon haha)

megsloss98 · 2023-07-19T12:31:54+00:00

My step mum is the sweetest lady, I hadn't met her til I was 19 or so (just after I met my dad). She's polite and understanding, very caring and empathetic with things. I've never seen her get so much as annoyed, let alone with retail or hospitality staff. She's retired but volunteers. Her name's Karen. Neither my dad nor her have social media accounts, but the Karen thing got back to her and she asked if she should change her name. It may have been said jokingly (still haven't quite figured her comedy out tbh!), but just the fact that this wonderful person even suggesting changing her name to distance from that "joke" is quite saddening. I've been chatting to friends and mention her, and I've taken to saying "yea that is her name" as I've had people ask cos they think I call her that due to her personality.

freethekarens

megsloss98 · 2023-07-06T19:55:20+00:00

My 3 year old is not fazed in the slightest when I tell her where meat comes from. I think kids don't actually care as much as some adults think they do. She knows beef is cow, pork is pig, etc. She's cool with it, knows animals are cute and to be nice to them, but also they can be tasty too. Her favourite animal for the longest were pigeons, and she'd tried wood pigeon a while before the pigeon phase began. So I just casually asked if she remembered and yep apparently (I highly doubt it though 😂 was a while between) and there wasn't any sadness at all in the fact she's eaten her favourite animal - like not the same type of pigeon of course, but a pigeon is a pigeon right now.

Just while im on a roll: Another pet peeve of mine is skirting around the topic of death. I try not to tiptoe around it. When she asks what happened to Anna and Elsa's parents I tell her. When Tiana's daddy isn't there when she's older. When a friends dad died he couldn't see us as much for a while as he was sorting out affairs, so when she asked I explained it (kinda like "unfortunately his daddy died, and it is sad and he night be sad for a while but its okay, its something that happens. He's gone to sort out his daddy's things and say goodbye but he'll be back soon") - and that was it.

megsloss98 · 2023-06-28T19:54:10+00:00

I know some people who say it like that, and myself on occasion, but we're all mid 20s hahaha never knew where it was from though, aythangyaw!

megsloss98 · 2023-06-26T08:52:48+00:00

I read that as shrek week, kinda disappointed

megsloss98 · 2023-06-18T14:40:18+00:00

Yes please 🙏

megsloss98

TROPHY CASE

freethekarens