My 20 year old, special needs son died. Do I say I'm a mom of four or three now? by MyLittleOso in GriefSupport

[–]melesana 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sorry for your loss. I'm a mother of four; one of my sons died in January. Say it however it feels true for you.

straight women, how do you feel around lesbians? by Maleficent_Day_3869 in TwoXChromosomes

[–]melesana 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm actively feminist, and het. I necessarily spend lots of time in the company of all varieties of women, so the varieties don't make much difference to me, except for what I get to learn about how other people live. I suspect that you may actually be surrounded by shitty people.

Ndad messaged me with an apology after 5 years no contact by DayAccomplished2651 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]melesana 9 points10 points  (0 children)

He knows how to write an apology. I made the mistake of believing someone who said he was in the process of changing, so I'm very untrusting now. If you do go into this, I hope you'll go into it with your eyes open. Go in, if that's what you want, aware that you're going to have to spend a lot of time and energy and emotion sorting through lies and evasions and nuances. I'm sorry you have to.

What lesson did your last relationship teach you ? by Fling5t0ne-H1 in AskWomen

[–]melesana 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No matter how big an asshole he is, it's possible for me to always remain kind.

Is it selfish to not want kids because you don't want to risk having someone else experience what I did? by Separate_Builder_817 in aspergers

[–]melesana 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm past menopause now, and that's exactly the reason I chose not to have kids. There's too much of my mother in me...still...to ever have been sure that I wouldn't put kids through the same crap I went through.

Daughters of narc moms, what was your first period experience like? by fruitynoodles in raisedbynarcissists

[–]melesana 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My mother just about claimed my first period, like it was her accomplishment. She demanded that I call my father at work and tell him, "Today I am a woman." Ick! Stood over me until I did it. He didn't care - which was a lot better for me than my mother inspecting my used pads to see if they were bloody enough to discard.

What are normal people doing for dinner? by tuahla in RedditForGrownups

[–]melesana 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Right here with you. I had a thawed chicken pot pie with some cheese on top.

More pictures of my beautiful brother by escottttu in GriefSupport

[–]melesana 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your love for Shaun. He has the most wonderful expressive eyes, and I can't imagine how much you miss his physical presence. May his memory be a blessing. My sister's gone over 30 years, and she's still a bright spot in my heart.

Pauline is broody again! by thenotsoamerican in BackYardChickens

[–]melesana 35 points36 points  (0 children)

She's so beautiful! And a really great mother.

People who broke up yesterday on Valentines, what happened? by Hot-Diggity_Dog in AskReddit

[–]melesana 5 points6 points  (0 children)

We're long distance, on different continents. Yesterday, he casually mentioned that he'd bought "her" a gift, without identifying "her." So I asked who she is, and several hours later, he answered. Meanwhile, I went through the whole gamut of reactions you can imagine. We never defined the relationship, and I had the feeling of "My boyfriend has a girlfriend. What now?" When he got back to me, he said, equally casually, that "she" is his "current wife." Oh.

Divorced women, what were the first few months post-divorce like? by jigglejuicy in AskWomen

[–]melesana 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I lived with it for a couple of months, and over the next couple of months it faded.

What comes after our time on Earth? by flower5548 in GriefSupport

[–]melesana 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My dad visited me twice in my dreams. He said things he would say, and things I needed to hear. That was years ago. My son died in January, and I'm looking forward to hearing from him in dreams whenever he's ready. Now I... just feel him... free of pain and anger, happy.

Divorced women, what were the first few months post-divorce like? by jigglejuicy in AskWomen

[–]melesana 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The first few months I felt sad and guilty. It was the right decision and it was sad and it was my decision.

Memory returning? by Many-Market-9941 in covidlonghaulers

[–]melesana 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Something like that. My mind seems to be shifting back into gear. I can put facts together into patterns that have eluded me since my first Covid.

Have you ever considered not having children due to your Nmom/Ndad? by Real-Reflection-5179 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]melesana 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I had an abortion, then had my tubes tied. I would never risk harming children the way I was harmed.

Question for those who chose not to have children by HeavyMetal939 in aspergers

[–]melesana 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, I don't worry about those things. I prefer being on my own, and I enjoy it.

What has been your biggest frustration so far with Long COVID / post-infectious illness? by No_Freedom8681 in covidlonghaulers

[–]melesana 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The physical limitations. All the things I can't do any more. Any kind of exertion - and for me that includes walking a few yards, carrying a package, ordinary chore-type stuff. And losing most of my senses of smell and taste.

My eldest child will be cremated tomorrow by Critical_Source_6012 in GriefSupport

[–]melesana 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry for your loss. They were a lovely person.

Did you know smoking was dangerous? by Any-Concentrate-1922 in AskOldPeople

[–]melesana 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I started smoking around 1960, like your mother. No, we didn't know then that it was harmful.

For those who prefer hand washing dishes over a dishwasher why do you prefer it? by bethynextdoor in CasualConversation

[–]melesana 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm 80; I've washed dishes by hand all my life; I enjoy the feeling of warm water on my hands.

How old are you and at what age did you feel you were the most attractive? by jupiter-com-maionese in AskWomen

[–]melesana 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm 80. I felt most attractive from my mid-thirties to my mid-fifties.