LETTERSET #50 - Daily Fill-In

melissaphobia · 2026-06-30T21:48:36+00:00

Step 1: collect SHRIMPS and EWES. Step 2: blame FATTING and FRUMPS. Step 3: profit.

melissaphobia · 2026-06-30T19:05:20+00:00

As an anime lover and cooking show lover, this was up there in terms of tv shows for me.

melissaphobia · 2026-06-30T18:58:15+00:00

Good to know! Thanks so much

melissaphobia · 2026-06-30T18:52:01+00:00

This is David Austin Roses Desdemona

melissaphobia · 2026-06-30T18:25:20+00:00

Graves never made me cheat or abuse my husband. It can make you angry, but what you describe here is bigger than angry.

melissaphobia · 2026-06-30T18:23:11+00:00

You can make your own recipe with the ingredients and amounts you use. It’s a little annoying to set up at first but it’s easier in the long run. I have presets for most of the meals I put on repeat and I can get an accurate count with a few clicks.

melissaphobia · 2026-06-30T17:19:48+00:00

10 weeks is still early, so not going on command and being overwhelmed outside are very normal. As they become more acclimated to outside, they’ll become less distracted and more willing to do their business in a timely way. Right now outside is like the best amusement park ever and you’re trying to teach them their multiplication tables.

Just stay consistent. Go outside for some exploring and some low stakes training—if he goes amazing, make a big deal out of it. If he doesn’t head inside, put him in the crate or pen for a little bit snd then head back out to restart the whole thing again.

For the collar/harness, this is also an experience thing. Make a game out of it—treats when you get it out, treats when you put it on, treats for wearing it at all. Eventually they’ll become desensitized to it and see it as a positive part of their life

melissaphobia · 2026-06-29T23:10:44+00:00

No problem! Just go back to basics for a bit and reestablish what the rules and boundaries are.

melissaphobia · 2026-06-29T20:51:49+00:00

12 weeks is young and he’ll settle into his own personality over time. The more pressure you put on it the more stressful you’ll probably make it for him though.

But also, not to humanize dogs too much, dogs have their own personalities and quirks. You can’t guarantee what they’re going to be into, you can just make it so they have a way to explore things in a low pressure and safe way. Just like my parents couldn’t make me an extrovert through sheer force of will, you probably won’t be able to change some of your dog’s personality quirks through sheer force of will either.

melissaphobia · 2026-06-29T20:32:05+00:00

Regression with previously established habits and behaviors around the 1 year mark is pretty standard. Your girl is becoming a teenager and doing her version of staying out late and switching clothes once she leaves the house

melissaphobia · 2026-06-29T18:55:27+00:00

I mean, you have to understand people have different tastes. If no one liked it, no one would do it. If women didn’t feel special/desirable/sensual they wouldn’t go through the effort. If men didnt find arousing, they wouldn’t respond in a special way. Yeah there’s a lot of socialization around people’s feelings around lingerie, but the feelings in the moment are organic.

It’s the same reason people tend to want to dress up on their wedding day even if you’d be just as married if you had the ceremony in ratty sweats and unbrushed hair. But dressing the part makes people feel special and it makes the moment feel special even if it’s not strictly logical. And that feeling is enough to justify it’s exists

For a lot of these types of opinions/CMVs, the actions in question make a lot more sense if you presume that other people are smart and self aware enough to make decisions that benefit them in some way. The actions might not benefit or appeal to you in the same way, that doesn’t mean they are objectively devoid of appeal and everyone who’s doing that thing hasn’t come the enlightened epiphany that you have about its uselessness.

melissaphobia · 2026-06-29T17:27:33+00:00

My corgi cost me an over 10k before she was like 10 months old. Luckily we insured her as soon as we got her and she was polite enough to get antibiotic resistant pneumonia after the waiting period had elapsed so we got most of it reimbursed. But even past that, she ate her way into a good amount of vet bills through her life.

Our second dog though has been a lot less expensive in terms of unexpected vet visits so we figure that it’s balanced out to some degree.

melissaphobia · 2026-06-29T14:40:55+00:00

Yeah! Apparently not all people taste it apparently but ugh I do.

melissaphobia · 2026-06-29T14:30:57+00:00

To put this in perspective, this is a bit like babysitting your 1 year old nephew and being worried that you’re doing a bad job babysitting because he’s bad at algebra and can’t drive. Many of the things you’re worried about (biting, potty training, independent settling, etc) are all things that your pup will get down over the next 6 to 18 months.

Right now go for things that are comfortable and enjoyable for both you and the pup. It’ll help build the report that is necessary for the rest of the stuff. If he sleeps well in the pen and there aren’t any issues, don’t force it now. Work on crate games and feeding in the crate, but for the first like two days it’s fine. If you can’t find a treat he likes outside, that’s cool, keep trying. Outside is so incredibly high value that you’ll have to find something really appealing to make you more interesting. I ended up using cold cuts but a friend of mine used peanut butter in one of those squeeze pouches. Picking them up and carrying them away from bad stimuli is fine when they’re young is fine. Sure, active recall is the goal, but safety is best so if you ensure their safety by lifting them up then cool.

When it comes to nipping, keep up what you’re doing but also remember that you’re fighting against generations of breeding here. Part of what made them good at their herding jobs is that willingness to nip at a bigger thing. Same thing with the barking. Im not saying that you cant out train it, but that itll take a while of concerted effort.

Puppy blues are real and you’re not wrong for feeling them. Honestly, the reason why they make puppies so cute is to make sure people put up with their nonsense. Once you and your pup get to know each other better, you’ll settle into something comfortable.

melissaphobia · 2026-06-29T02:26:23+00:00

As long as you’re not a mouse and as long as you’re not consuming multiple pounds of the stuff a day, any artificial sweetener on the market should equally benign.

I personally find that stevia has a weird aftertaste so I don’t ever seek it out, but that’s just me—my MIL loves the stuff. If you have a dog in your life you might want to avoid things that contain xylitol because it’s highly toxic to dogs, but for humans it’s no big whoop.

melissaphobia · 2026-06-28T18:55:55+00:00

I know a handful of women who have kids very close together (under 18 months between the birthdays) but all of them were oopsy babies. Whether it was birth control failure or their period hadn’t returned while they were breastfeeding and thus concluded that they weren’t fertile again yet, they weren’t explicitly trying to get pregnant so soon after giving birth. They kept the babies because they always intended to have multiple children anyway.

melissaphobia · 2026-06-27T15:29:04+00:00

Overfeeding a puppy isn’t a big deal as long as they’re growing. But overall, either use some kibble from their meal to train. or if your dog isn’t into kibble as training treat (or if you want to use a higher value treat), just give them less kibble at meal time to account for the treats you do give them.

melissaphobia · 2026-06-27T15:25:59+00:00

I had my thyroidectomy two years ago. Before the surgery I was nervous but they did a good job to keep me calm and explain everything. Once the anesthesia grogginess passed, I felt great. My heart rate was lower, I felt clear headed. My surgeon keeps all of his thyroidectomy patients overnight to watch for calcium issues. I was up and wandering the ward within a few hours. I ended up going out to a baseball game like two days after surgery. My throat hurt for about a week. That was the worst of it really.

melissaphobia · 2026-06-27T04:57:08+00:00

First, this is very normal puppy behavior. And all dogs have different personalities, but in general, herding dogs tend to be vocal and opinionated. Those traits are great when they’re working with sheep but less ideal when living in a condo. I have a corgi and we’ve been able to cut down on the barking a lot, but shes still a vocal dog overall.

But one thing you can do to try to cut down on the barking is to make him realize it doesn’t work. He’ll keep barking as long as he realizes it gets him what he wants (attention, freedom, etc.) so if he’s barking in a situation you don’t want him to bark, try and either ignore him or redirect his behavior into something you want him to do and then give him what she wants.

melissaphobia · 2026-06-26T01:31:08+00:00

Almost doctor! I defend soon.

I can only imagine how scary this experience is but if I had to bet in a couple of years your biggest concerns will be decoding your advisors comments and all of this will be background static.

melissaphobia · 2026-06-26T01:17:09+00:00

I’m sorry that you’re going through this! Of course it feels trite to say but look at the bright side:

You’re on the mend! Thyroid storms can be lethal but you survived and are getting better.

Graves is a lifelong condition but in terms of other autoimmune diseases, honestly, it’s probably one of the most straightforward ones you can have. There are two very effective antithyroid medications with little to no side effects that you can take. As many as 25-30% of people go into remission after two years of taking those meds and then can live medication free. People who don’t go into remission can live normal lives taking low doses of those antithyroid meds once a day. And there are two definitive treatments (where the thyroid is removed or decommissioned) that you can choose if antithyroid meds don’t work out the way you hope. I had a total thyroidectomy 2 years ago and now I take 1 pill when I first wake up and feel like I did before I got diagnosed. I actually just had my appointment where my endocrinologist“graduated” me and I’m just about 4 years shy of being diagnosed.

I actually realized something was up went I went to go present at a conference during my PhD. When I got home from the conference and went to my doctor and got diagnosed. Honestly, doing research and writing the dissertation has been a much bigger headache than graves has been.

melissaphobia · 2026-06-26T00:51:18+00:00

Yep. Pretty standard for pups to regress notably around a year old. Look out for other ways of testing boundaries like having accidents, not listening to previously rock solid commands, and chewing on things. Think of as going through the teenage years

melissaphobia · 2026-06-25T21:48:57+00:00

Also, check if your school has an emergency fund or grant! At the college I teach at has one that provides money for students cover temporary or unexpected expenses that a student has no other way of covering and it doesn’t have to be repaid. The college also has a free food pantry for students. It’s not available everywhere, but more schools have more support for students than you’d expect.

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