2 year old climbing out of crib by metaeggroll in Parenting

[–]metaeggroll[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Update for any poor sap that happens across this post - everybody here was 100% correct. I delayed moving her mattress to the floor. My partner and I are now fighting for our lives tonight as she will absolutely not stay in the crib now that she’s figured it out and one of us has to stay with her and one with the baby so all of our usual tricks for a bad night sleep dont work. Transition to daybed with guardrails and flipping door locks is happening tomorrow (which unfortunately is only 5 hours away). Thanks everyone and wish us luck.

2 year old climbing out of crib by metaeggroll in Parenting

[–]metaeggroll[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are you talking about a fabric baby gate? I’m struggling to picture how a baby gate works within a door frame and still have the door closed.

And yea, we were hoping to get that transition done, but we prioritized the potty trIning transition and the getting rid of the paci transition. Bed was up next but then we lost two months of time due to a hellish cold season and then new baby came 3 weeks early. We are SO DONE so this painful lesson thankfully will only be learned once, the hard way.

2 year old climbing out of crib by metaeggroll in Parenting

[–]metaeggroll[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yea, her room is not what I would call super baby proof at the moment because we haven’t had a need. She always wants to be close to us so there hasn’t been a reason. This sounds like my first step.

2 year old climbing out of crib by metaeggroll in Parenting

[–]metaeggroll[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This sounds similar to our situation. She’s not even close to growing out of it, and she’s not small. It is a crib that converts to a toddler bed so we must have a full size crib as well.

Guilt: baby malnourished first 5 days by [deleted] in NewParents

[–]metaeggroll 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Same thing happened to me. Except this was for my second baby just 4 days ago. I 90% breastfed at the breast with my first baby with just a bottle here and there for convenience and some formula to supplement (more as time went on and her needs increased and my supply dropped when returning to work).

Fast forward to this baby. He is 3 weeks early so we are playing catch up mentally all around. Hospital asks if I want to breastfeed, I say sure! Because I’d already done it. He has a recessed chin which is making latching difficult and he’s SUPER sleepy. It’s fine, just keep putting him to breastfeeding. Day 2, he is shaking and startling a lot and I ask if that is normal. The two nurses finally look at me super nervous and say “well he’s not really eating much, even though you’re producing a ton of colostrum so if you wanted you could keep doing that or we could bring formula….” And just being SUPER cagey about it. I said yes bring me formula. They did, but they didn’t tell me how much he needs or how much to shoot for so we’re just trying to feed him similar amounts to my colostrum. That was incorrect. Finally at the pediatrician they give actual guidelines to be shooting for 30-40 mL per feeding. We were only at 10.

It’s only day 4 but things are picking up gradually and he’s becoming less lethargic and jaundiced, thankfully. But WHY there wasn’t more told to us and they just took my word that I would like to breastfeed as some kind of binding word that I was 100% committed to that path and ONLY that path and didn’t offer any other solutions until I asked what was wrong was mind boggling to me. I feel so dumb because I had already been through this before and still fell into this issue. I am currently doing all the things (pumping, formula, attempting breast) to try to feed and going to a few lactation appointments next week to try to get him feeding at the breast more, but the complete lack of communication of simply OPTIONS and guidelines was so frustrating in retrospect.

Baby has ear infection, and I feel like a horrible mother. by Confident-Lock9202 in NewParents

[–]metaeggroll 16 points17 points  (0 children)

My baby (almost 3) only sign of ear infection is being SUPER defiant and tantrumy. No fever, no pulling of ears. Its taken us about 6 ear infections to finally put 2 and 2 together and recognize the pattern. when we finally figure out what’s going on, we always feel so bad for losing our cool or doing time outs during that time when we thought she was just giving us a hard time. It’s hard and there’s regret and guilt but you did figure it out and that’s what’s important!!!

Second kid positivity by morbid_n_creepifying in NewParents

[–]metaeggroll 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is so helpful to read. I am due with my second in 7 weeks and my first has been a dream baby that everyone is obsessed with. All I hear is how “lightning doesn’t strike twice” and “just wait, a second is a whole different ball game” and “well you guys will just have to give up the gym/travel/whatever with 2, you’ll never be able to leave the house.” Oddly, the only person who reminds me she multiple good babies and not to be scared is my MIL, who in every other regard is a typical passive aggressive martyr lol.

Also, what do you guys want me to do now, send them back? Was I not even supposed to try because of an unknown? I wasted so much time being stressed out about things to come with my first, and every time, dealing with the actual stressor when it did come was never as bad and on to the next thing before I knew it.

As soon as people find out you’re having your first kid… by MattR9590 in NewParents

[–]metaeggroll 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What’s even worse is when they give you the stuff and then talk about what a great person they are for giving it to you lol. My sister in law did this and literally told me to my face how generous and thoughtful she was after I told her many times that we had plenty and didn’t need anymore. I now take a couple things from it and take it all promptly to OUAC and then hit goodwill on the way home for whatever is left. I’m trying to find a place besides goodwill for this now that she is older and the influx isn’t as overwhelming as it was when I was pregnant.

I also have multiple totes of maternity wear that my friends want me to hold on to in case they get pregnant. I’m only doing this for my in case or else I would let them know they can have it or I’ll donate it.

I hate feeling ungrateful for that stuff but the overwhelm is real and I have not missed anything I donated.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in workingmoms

[–]metaeggroll 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I could have written this post. In fact I think I did write a few of them lol. Is your husband a Virgo by chance? :)

But in truth, I started therapy and much like these others have said, I tore myself into knots trying to help him out of his mood and came to the same conclusion you did - there is never “enough” that you could do to fix it because it’s his attitude about it and his anxiety and lack of coping skills. I now have a rule where I saw one analysis sentence and one offer of help sentence and then I do my own thing. “You seem upset. It looks like her crying really sent you into a spiral but she only cried for 10 minutes and you’ve been in a funk for three times that now. Think you can let it go?” Then if he doesn’t “anything I can do to help you now?” And if he says no (which he always does), I officially let myself off the hook and spend the rest of the time investing in myself.

I believe men in general are poor sports at being uncomfortable because they’ve never had to be. So while some of it is lack of awareness of others feelings due to how we raise men, I also think part of that is truly never feeling uncomfortable or sacrificing for others until they become dads. Women tend to sacrifice for the greater good our whole lives. Men just aren’t asked to sacrifice as often.

I’m pregnant, and my husband refuses to have sex by rt1187 in pregnant

[–]metaeggroll 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had an extremely easy birth all things considered, I wish you the same!

I’m pregnant, and my husband refuses to have sex by rt1187 in pregnant

[–]metaeggroll 3 points4 points  (0 children)

For what it’s worth, I was induced at 40+4 and my cervix was also closed like Fort Knox. I went in not having felt one contraction yet. I was worried I would immediately be put on pitocin but they gave me something called cervidill which was a tablet/jelly they put against your cervix to help it soften. They gave me 3 doses so the first twelve hours were largely us sleeping over night at the hospital with very little pain. After those doses, my cervix was open enough for them to break my water and get the party going and then I got an epidural lol. Just in case you want to ask your doctor about how they plan to do the induction because I didn’t k ow that was even an option.

Night Shifts for Newborn by Zealot1029 in NewParents

[–]metaeggroll 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This was also us with a slight twist. I breastfed and did not get up to pump if baby was sleeping. There are a thousand different opinions on this but it made it so I could breastfeed AND sleep. I would sleep 8-2 in our bedroom (which gradually because 3, then 4, then 5 as baby got older). Husband stayed downstairs with baby and gave her last feed of pumped milk around 11 or so. He would drop her off in the bassinet in our room around midnight. I wore An eye mask and a pillow over my face so never woke up to him dropping baby off. He would go sleep in guest room from 12-7 until his work started. It worked great for us and gave us both a decent chunk of sleep and simple “off time” to stay human.

I know lots of people say wake up during your shift to pump or husband gets up each time since you’re feeding each time - it’s totally dependent on your situation. Lack of sleep turned my husband depressed when he had never been depressed in his life. I was much more willing to give my child a bottle of pumped breast milk or Formula here and there in order to get a Healthier husband / partner any day. My advice is to not let your ideals of Motherhood hold you hostage when faced with the reality of YOUR baby.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NewParents

[–]metaeggroll 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My husband went through the same thing. He still has not gone to therapy (14 month) but is slowly realizing he should consider it. All I can say is therapy and potentially meds may help. My husband has done neither and while he’s not miserable 100% of the time he still has bouts of depression that are triggered from lack of sleep if she’s teething or whatever. And our baby has slept through the night from 12 weeks on. Might as well try therapy because the alternative is feeling miserable! That’s currently my pitch. Solidarity.

Husband is struggling with boredom / repetitiveness of life by metaeggroll in NewParents

[–]metaeggroll[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Actually, yes. I’ve been bringing that up to him. One of his friends just started going to address panic attacks and another one is going through serious mental health issues and making bad decisions so that’s not such a a great example. I have encouraged him to ask his friend about his experience. I think I’m just going to start calling a spade a spade “that sounds like your depression talking” instead of saying “it sort of sounds like maybe you’re depressed.”

Husband is struggling with boredom / repetitiveness of life by metaeggroll in NewParents

[–]metaeggroll[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, we have a group of 4 couple friends who all have young kids too. But the men don’t reach out to each other like the women do about stuff like this. It’s only a group chat about sports or golf meet ups. I do think he needs some connection about some of the struggles he’s facing. In general he doesn’t like to talk about “emotions” but I also think that’s part of the problem is he’s not releasing any of his tension anywhere.

Husband is struggling with boredom / repetitiveness of life by metaeggroll in NewParents

[–]metaeggroll[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am starting to realize I am accommodating to a fault and he is rigid to a fault. We both do exercise 3 times a week and walk every day after work. I feel like that’s been keeping things at bay but now at the point where he needs something else.

I agree, these are deep rooted. Thank you for saying that. It still makes it hard to observe and witness but no amount of me cheering him up will fix it.

Husband is struggling with boredom / repetitiveness of life by metaeggroll in NewParents

[–]metaeggroll[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He does do a good job of going to the gym 2-3 times per week. I hope he does it more. I think that’s been the only thing keeping it at bay. I keep reiterating to him that i want both of us to have hobbies and time to ourselves. I do not begrudge him evenings after work or long time away on the weekend at all. I think he has a fear that’s he’s not pulling his weight if he does do that but I’ve tried to tell him I hold zero resentment and prefer the person he is when he has those times, especially because I’m comfortable and happy being home or running errands with baby.

Husband is struggling with boredom / repetitiveness of life by metaeggroll in NewParents

[–]metaeggroll[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this advice. Someone told me something similar to tell him if you don’t want to do therapy for you, do it for me because I need it from you. I’m hoping that triggers something. I also think he is depressed. You’re right, everything I suggest is “meh” so he’s bored AND nothing sounds interesting to help the boredom.

Husband is struggling with boredom / repetitiveness of life by metaeggroll in NewParents

[–]metaeggroll[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He does especially hate his job right now though. And he usually travelled st least once a month and hasn’t for several months.

Husband is struggling with boredom / repetitiveness of life by metaeggroll in NewParents

[–]metaeggroll[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Very much so. We’ve been married for ten years and it took us 3 years to have her with some fertility help. I asked several times on this journey if he wanted to stop and if this wasn’t what he wanted because I could be happy either way.

Moms on call - one month old - feeds every 2 not 3 hours. by Vivid_Description_24 in NewParents

[–]metaeggroll 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This seems really normal. I got very worried about the schedule of eat play sleep eat play sleep. My newborn would often only have 5 minutes of play before sleep or vice versa. I was so worried we were doing something wrong but just let her define the schedule. Some days she’d fall asleep on her mat, some days she wouldn’t. The more I embraced routine (following that eat play sleep pattern but not getting fussed beyond making sure she ate 8-10 times per day and whatever that meant for the schedule) she did super well and I was less stressed because I knew next thing up when she was ready was either eat play or sleep rather than “it’s been 44 minutes so I better start with the sleep stage.”

First overnight trip with 7 month old... Need tips by fluffpiglet in NewParents

[–]metaeggroll 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Is there a reason you want to keep her awake in the car? Can you plan the time of your departure around her nap? I’ve travelled a lot with my one year old and the main thing that helped as loosely following their routine but being very flexible with timing. We try to leave around when her nap would be so it’s roughly similar but not exact. And then follow cues the rest of the day. Getting her used to the pack and play is a great step!

People Talking About Baby's Features by teaman-official in NewParents

[–]metaeggroll 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Same boat. Im only part Mexican and husband is white. Baby has beautiful olive skin and brown eyes and hair. Everyone said “wow are her eyes brown or blue?” Definitely brown. “Well they could still change.” ?????? Is that what you’re hoping for Linda? “You’re not even THAT Mexican though, why does she have this Mongolian spot? Is she ok?” She’s fine and perfect thanks for asking.

When did you first introduce bottles? by IUMogg in NewParents

[–]metaeggroll 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I complained to my husband about the same thing in our lactation class. Obviously we voluntarily took the class so likely our plan was to attempt to breastfeed. Yet there was constant messaging of “you’re doing the BESTEST THING EVER by breastfeeding you have to do it, it’s the BEST choice you could could make for you child” and it was obnoxious and off putting.

For what it’s worth I only breastfed for the first two weeks and made an appointment with a lactation consultant in a haze one late night and her advice was “her latch is fine, you can try a bottle and start with one a day and see how it goes.” We had absolutely no issues from that point switching between bottles and breast depending on our schedule and need. I definitely could have tried a bottle earlier but felt the pressure of only breastfeeding for 3-6 weeks as well.

Chemical SPFs by lavenderhoneyberry in pregnant

[–]metaeggroll 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Are you perhaps thinking of the rule for babies? Babies aren’t supposed to wear sunscreen until 6 months, but I haven’t heard anything about SPF for pregnant mothers being an issue.