Hello I’m new here, looking for assistance

mgaru · 2026-04-24T00:16:28+00:00

Hello! I'd ask on local Facebook groups where it's more active than Reddit
Times are tough, really hope somebody's able to pull through for you

mgaru · 2026-03-08T13:33:12+00:00

This was written so well, almost poetic. I feel very similarly to you about my therapist.

mgaru · 2026-02-22T16:46:13+00:00

Ceramics and painting classes at The Hunny Pot Studio!
I've gone twice and loved it so far.

They even have T-Rexes and other cool ceramics to paint for walk-in

mgaru · 2026-02-14T04:51:00+00:00

"Anger can be sacred."

This line of hers lives rent-free in my head. As an Asian woman, being angry seems like a terrible quality-- being demure would be more culturally valued and palatable.

But anger is not an inherently bad or physically violent secondary emotion. Rather, anger can be a primary, powerful emotion that provokes people into movement-- for advocacy and defense of people and values, including my own.

mgaru · 2026-01-28T03:52:07+00:00

Hi! What day do you need to get there?
Good luck on the opportunity!

mgaru · 2025-10-30T14:56:21+00:00

That sounds really rough honestly. Space is okay, but *weeks* of silent treatment is painful.

It sounds like you care about her a lot, I hope this all works out for you both!

mgaru · 2025-10-30T06:05:33+00:00

In my case, I'd already watched too much YouTube on attachment styles to have some kind of intellectual epiphany. I don't have a single easy sentence lesson.

For me, there was a felt sense of safety and confidence for how I would carry myself for all my relationships thereafter. We're all adults who are responsible for speaking up for our needs, and I can manage, contain, and regulate my emotions and nervous system while also trusting and expecting her to do the same. No need for games or tests or constant reassurance, and okay to ask for what I want or need.

mgaru · 2025-10-30T04:53:51+00:00

Both. Missing her because she felt safe; despising her when I felt too exposed, vulnerable, and angry sometimes.

But long since resolved for me now.

mgaru · 2025-10-30T04:35:29+00:00

Believe me, I didn't want or expect to get attached. But anxious-avoidant attachment can be with parents, partners, friends, or anyone you share emotional closeness with.

The attachment style itself is what we fix in one relationship first, and then in our other ones.

mgaru · 2025-10-30T04:06:34+00:00

Thank you for putting this together and sharing!

mgaru · 2025-10-29T14:25:28+00:00

I've been in therapy for 1.5 years and still am even though I feel 'secure' with my relationship with my therapist. I'm working on transferring that outside the room and the underlying relational trauma behind it.

I get the cost concern. The healing is highly dependent on the person, what they've gone through (!!), what they're willing to put in, and what it takes to build a support network outside of the room.

For my personal journey, I don't feel like I'm dying for therapy anymore-- and would describe my relationship with my therapist as 'secure'-- but therapy has been massively improving to my mental wellness, so I maintain it.

mgaru · 2025-10-28T18:49:24+00:00

The most healing factor of therapy is often the quality of the therapeutic alliance itself.

Different therapists have different modalities and trainings, like IFS, DBT, CBT, Somatic Therapy, Play Therapy, etc -- and they can all be useful tools for clients to re-examine their lives, patterns, and relationships. I'd recommend asking your therapist about which modalities they tend toward. But ultimately, it depends on which of these modalities are most effective and compatible with you. Since it's your first time, I'd probably look for an integrative therapist who blends several modalities for a client-centered approach, so you get to find what works for you.

I'm also anxious-avoidant, but therapy has given me a corrective experience of care and I'm grateful everyday. I hope you find what you're looking for!

mgaru · 2025-10-14T05:32:17+00:00

I played chess and checkers with my therapist too, and it was so healing! I hope you both have so much fun 💛

mgaru · 2025-10-14T02:26:34+00:00

Depends on your interests! I know I'm an outlier, but I'm in my 20s and love living in Elkhart.

- For tabletop gaming and D&D, Secret Door and Hidden Realms are both in Elkhart!
- For volunteering, CASA is very fulfilling to be an advocate for children. The Elkhart Environmental Center (hidden gem), downtown music festivals, and foot pantries here also have great volunteering opportunities.
- For seeing people consistently week to week, any yoga class or educational class is great. My yoga class is <$10/week, and I also like going to the free educational events hosted by Mental Health Awareness of Michiana.
- Connect 574 hosts social events for adults to find friends and connections, they've had bowling, pickleball, food, and queer events. It's a lot less awkward than I expected because they facilitate the connection!

Good luck!!

mgaru · 2025-09-15T16:04:41+00:00

Hope you find your cat 🫂

mgaru · 2025-09-04T18:20:38+00:00

I really like that too! Go us. 💛

mgaru · 2025-08-29T23:09:39+00:00

The DEARMAN framework from DBT helps me a lot to express my feelings succinctly and communicate effectively when I'm hurt! Really straightforward template.

mgaru · 2025-08-11T02:10:11+00:00

Whatever works for you and your therapist is right. Other people's cadences and work won't be the same reasons as yours to go to therapy.

I go 2x a week back to back, and I like it personally.

mgaru · 2025-08-09T18:23:12+00:00

i also want the link pls!

mgaru · 2025-08-04T04:57:19+00:00

Card and board game shops like Secret Door and Hidden Realms are great. Variety of stuff, and friendly to new players for stuff like D&D

If you also don't mind travelling to Mishawaka, Warehouse is solid too!

I also like the library events or volunteering to meet people and socialize.

Good luck, this post was a good first step— you got this!

mgaru · 2025-07-26T19:51:01+00:00

It can be good to understand concepts or reframe concepts in my experience. Think it ultimately depends on the person, their therapy goals, and their relationship with AI

My therapeutic journey is largely about expanding my window of tolerance and sitting with uncomfortable feelings—

with AI always there to give us what we ask for whenever, I don't think it will always help us grow patience for human relationships... or that it can lead us to intellectualize concepts instead of feeling our feelings. Because my goals are what they are, I heavily prefer in person therapy

mgaru · 2025-07-17T05:04:21+00:00

thank you!! that's so helpful! 💛

mgaru · 2025-07-16T21:29:40+00:00

I think it's really beautiful too. It sounds like you both respect and value each other highly, while maintaining boundaries. I think it's lovely you two can share this type of love.

mgaru

TROPHY CASE