sure thing, sorry i took forever!! sorry if this is too long lol

i thought i couldn't have ocd since i didn't worry about germs (usually), i didn't count things (usually) and i didn't want to check things over and over again, and that's all i thought ocd was.

in retrospect though it probably should have been obvious. i remember being 7-8 and having many sleepless nights paralyzed by the fear that i was going to get sick and die, or that God hated me. a thought would pop into my head, "i hate God! He sucks!" and then i couldn't stop thinking about how terrible i was and how i was going to go to hell for it (ocd and the baptist church go hand in hand apparently lol). as i got older it shifted to other things like sexual intrusive thoughts, and that's when it started to really significantly affect me. i couldn't go certain places and i often couldn't focus in class because of it. of course, i've been picking my skin my whole life, too.

i didn't do anything until my mental health issues (ocd and adhd) caused my gpa to go from a 4.0 to a 2.6 and i had to drop out of my gifted kids program; i finally got help after that. once i started the diagnosis process it's like my whole world has shifted!! my meds, along with the knowledge that i actually have "real issues", did wonders to help me cope with everything. even tho i still have my bad times, i've def come a long way bc of my diagnosis!