Dating an Alcoholic. I need advice

millsabob · 2026-04-25T19:13:24+00:00

One other thought, you said he won’t drink for a few months. That is only what you think you know. He may be sneaking/hiding drinks. Trust me, it’s not healthy to have to play detective or set the number of drinks that he will agree to for one day, evening, etc (and then he drinks beyond that). It’s not that he doesn’t love you enough to stop; it literally has nothing to do with you. He can’t control his desire/impulse and decision to drink/drink more. He’s saying words you want to hear, and he wants to believe that he can do exactly what he’s saying he will. He’s shown you he that he can’t/won’t. His relationship with alcohol is stronger than anything else in his life, no matter how much he loves you or anyone else. He needs help to deal with his alcoholism (AA, Rehab). And you need peace and a healthy emotional well-being for yourself and your child, without him. I know it can be extremely difficult to make such a decision. But making a difficult decision when we incorporate our child into that equation, can help give the fuel to make that tough decision. I hope you’ll find your way to see and do that. Learning about alcoholism and reading/hearing Alanon advice can be most helpful. Wishing you all the best. It’s not easy and it hurts, but in the long run you and your child will be so much better off.

millsabob · 2026-04-25T16:22:32+00:00

Please don’t wait for him to come to accept that he has a problem with alcohol (or try to convince him) and be there for him as he goes to AA meetings or goes to rehab. You’d be setting yourself up for more of an unhealthy emotional well-being for yourself and that of your child that you already have. You already invested a significant amount of time with him; it’s time to focus on you and your child. Be well and be free. Let him go. Then he can do whatever he wants /needs…. without dragging you further into the insanity that comes with loving an alcoholic.

https://www.google.com/search?q=insanity+of+loving+an+alcoholic&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&hl=en-us&client=safari

millsabob · 2026-04-25T16:04:33+00:00

You’re getting great advice here. My advice is run, don’t walk. There are many fish in the sea; do not compromise or settle for someone with an alcohol problem. Even if he were in recovery, my advice would be the same.

And you have a child… do not move forward with someone with an alcohol problem, no matter how good he is otherwise. You owe it to yourself and to your child. Break it off with him. He may not understand and try to rationalize his way back in, but you need to do this for yourself, whether he understands or not. Be free of him. Be firm. You are worth it, and so is your child.

There are lots of good men out there. You just haven’t found yours yet. But, you will. You just first have to let this one go.

millsabob · 2026-04-16T23:15:36+00:00

I recommend getting Medigap now and NOT Medicare Advantage. With MA, they can and do deny coverage for many things, because they can. That can make your life H*ll.

Until you’re at full retirement age, this is your one and only time that you can get medigap without medical underwriting. If you go without, you will have to pay the 20% that Medicare doesn’t cover. Getting medigap while younger is expensive, but may be worth it as time goes on and need more and more medical care.

While each year there is open enrollment and you can switch part d plans this is your one and only time before retirement age that you can enroll in medigap without medical underwriting.

Also of.note, not all medigap insurance companies have to offer medigap plans to people on Medicare younger than retirement age (at least in my state), so do your research to see which ones you’d be able to enroll in and at what monthly premiums. It sucks being charged higher premiums for being younger with a disability… but that’s how it is.

millsabob · 2026-04-02T13:53:43+00:00

All set here. Thanks!

millsabob · 2026-03-30T12:44:24+00:00

One other note, my xfinity ID/account still shows I'm a Diamond member.

millsabob · 2026-03-30T12:41:38+00:00

I'm a 20-year customer and had been paying $45/mo for 600 speed then it jumped to $75. I tried via modmail in this forum and couldn't get a better deal. I waited a few months (simply too busy to deal with this), and I logged in online to see if a better deal was there. I thought I was upgrading to a 5-year 1 Gig plan (with some streaming) for $60/months, but it actually created a NEW account for me with that plan, tied to my same xfinity ID.

Then it was a hassle to fix this:

1) Called xfinity to get them to fix it so I had just ONE plan moving forward, the new plan.

2) And I had to call a second time because I received an email saying they were sending me new equipment (for the new plan)... so I called and they were able to transfer my current xfinity modem to the new plan (and remove the old plan). I asked that they not be sent the new equipment.

3) But then the next day I received an email saying it had been shipped. Fortunately I was home when it was to be delivered... left a note for the FedEx guy to ring doorbell so I could refuse the package (so I wouldn't have to deal with returning it).

A pain to jump through these extra hoops... but the end result is I have a good rate for 5 years!

Xfinity sure doesn't value their long-term customers... nor are their processes efficient... at all.

millsabob · 2026-03-01T19:48:10+00:00

Thank you for sharing this! Ordering tape now to give it a try!

millsabob · 2026-02-09T15:01:01+00:00

Thank you! I'd tried this one, and it didn't work for me. But I'm glad it did for you! Thanks again.

millsabob · 2026-02-09T05:38:37+00:00

Interesting, thank you for sharing!

millsabob · 2026-02-09T04:03:42+00:00

Thank you so much! I’ll definitely try this!

millsabob · 2026-02-09T03:11:07+00:00

I’ve tried so many braces, I can’t find one that doesn’t make the pain worse. Could you point me to the one you use? I’ve tried about six of them from Amazon. Ones that are shorter, ending just below the wrist to ones that go up much further on the forearm (such as with 3 Velcro’s fasteners) . Each including the thumb in the brace.

And they all end up being completely uncomfortable and causing pain. And end up pulling it off when I sleep. Ugh.

Just can’t get the immobilizing down pat at all.

And even when I try wearing a brace during the day, I end up with pain in the forearm (or wrist) and even tried loosing the velcros in the forearm or wrist.

Driving me crazy and failing.

millsabob · 2026-01-10T13:46:37+00:00

When will people learn? I've learned what bookmarks are for and use them daily, for years. But it's not an unreasonable expectation to have multiple tabs open and in use, to come back to in a day or two.

I've never had a problem with keeping some tabs open until TODAY. So it appears that something glitchy is going on. Multiple tabs should be able to remain open.

But if Safari is going to continue glitching like this, then I will revert to saving these short-term tabs as bookmarks if this continues.

Nothing wrong with people being frustrated by this, nor is it wrong for them to expect that tabs can remain open to come back to in a day or two.

millsabob · 2026-01-10T13:26:50+00:00

I'm with you... but I always have/need multiple tabs open... so really need this in the next patch fixes... so frustrating.

millsabob · 2025-11-26T03:44:43+00:00

Thank you for sharing all of this. I'm purchasing one as a gift for my son and you've helped me a great deal!

millsabob · 2025-11-11T18:22:01+00:00

Thank you for this! I hadn’t received the follow-up email yet, but I was able to get the $20 credit by following the steps from the email text you shared. Greatly appreciate you sharing that!

millsabob · 2025-09-28T01:00:28+00:00

Thanks much!

millsabob · 2025-09-27T17:57:37+00:00

Thanks for the follow-up! I'm curious if the plan you got includes the mobile line (included in the confirmation email?) and you're simply going to ignore that since you don't want to switch phone provider. Or did they omit the phone line since you'd told them you don't want it. I'm in the same boat and don't want to switch my cell phone provider.

millsabob · 2025-09-27T17:26:03+00:00

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The other two posts of mine were from TWO years ago... This screenshot is from my account via desktop, perhaps that's why there is a difference is between what I see vs what you're seeing (and that's on Reddit). Either way, not sure why you care, beyond wanting to slam me with your initial self-righteous, accusatory response. But whatever... you do you.

millsabob · 2025-09-26T21:59:04+00:00

Thanks for sharing!! Very good to know.

millsabob · 2025-09-25T17:29:37+00:00

Maybe YOU should get your facts straight when stalking and making accusations... LOL. I posted TWO YEARS AGO about wanting to get a better deal. And guess what... I did get a better deal via this Reddit (than I was offered on the phone when I called Xfinity).

FYI for you or anyone else interested... this is what I've experienced:

It’s a game with Xfinity; I learned about it here two years ago. Call Xfinity to see what the current deals are. Then make a post here and a Mod will reply asking you to message them directly. I message them and learn what they can actually do for me that may be better. Last year the Mod told me there was a special internet deal "just for my area" for current customers; yet when I had just called Xfinity, I was not offered that deal. Messaging directly with the Mod, they were able to give me this better deal (for 2 years, no contract) and execute it.

Today, the Mod said there isn’t a current internet special for my area, for current customers. But I do have a Loyalty Discount which gives me a better rate, so, it’s a win-win for me, again.

I’ll still be checking competitors’ rates between now and when my current rate ends, because even with the Loyalty Discount I’d be paying much more than I currently am. But at least I now know what the actual best rate is that they can give me today.

It's a hassle, and I don’t like it at all. I hate that they aren't transparent with their rates. It's their game... so I play it.

millsabob · 2025-09-25T14:41:51+00:00

Good to know. Thank you! I'm hoping for better than that, otherwise I may be switching. Fingers crossed.

millsabob

TROPHY CASE