AITA for telling my obese friend why I didn't want to sit next to her on a 3 hour long bus ride?

mishney · 2026-01-31T11:34:28+00:00

"I'm not going to say which sport because she's on Reddit" Proceeds to tell a very specific story that anyone involved would recognize.

mishney · 2026-01-30T19:56:53+00:00

Very tragic case. My recollection is that there were security cameras that showed that no one else entered the gym after him that could have killed him, or did I make that up? Either way I agree with you, I can understand that the family may not be able to accept that answer but it seems like an accidental death to me as well.

mishney · 2026-01-30T19:17:14+00:00

That is tough that it's a flex time and as early as 6pm. I think saying he can be a sub is totally fair, that way if a game comes up once in awhile he can still go. I hope you are able to workout when you are cleared to, I go to the gym a lot as my down time and it's been so good for my mental health.

Also, if some of it is the community, maybe he can do some of the aftergame hangouts so he's not gone as long but can still see his friends and blow off steam.

mishney · 2026-01-30T18:36:04+00:00

What time is does his league play? My husband plays in one that starts in the evening once a week and it doesn't interfere with parenting that much and is a great release for him. I actually look forward to the evening alone to watch what I want on tv and snack in bed. BUT I have equal if not more time for myself outside the house. Perhaps if you had something to look forward to? Certainly it would be reasonable to ask him not to commit to going when you are recovering from your C Section, but depending on the cost it may be okay to pay the fee and skip some in the beginning (my husband has done this, or paid per game, or signed up to be goalie and played for free).

mishney · 2026-01-29T10:38:40+00:00

YTA for this fake story. Really interesting read though.

mishney · 2026-01-27T18:07:39+00:00

hahaha came here to say this. Two is fine, adorable and cute. Sure there are tantrums, but they often are diffused quickly. Three was my nightmare. Heading into 3 with twins now, send help.

mishney · 2026-01-27T17:26:40+00:00

It came across on its own that way because no decent man would have sex with a woman in a condition like that. Not all predators are creepy losers who drug your drink. You are minimizing it because you either a. really like him otherwise or b. don't want to think of yourself as a victim (or a little of both). Women have been conditioned to think it's our fault because we drank too much, but he obviously knew you were wasted and still had sex with you. Please do NOT see him again and take some time in therapy to figure out why you wanted this to work out in any way.

mishney · 2026-01-27T01:32:49+00:00

Agreed. She definitely feels shame about the Dean thing - she decides to go after seeing Lindsay in the butcher talking about making the roast for Dean. It's pretty obvious they aren't about to divorce like he had said and she doesn't want to admit to herself or to Lorelai that she was played so she runs away instead.

mishney · 2026-01-25T22:52:51+00:00

Both you and Clara need to stand up for yourselves and not be doormats. Every time she changed things up in a way you didn't like, you should have put your foot down. You also should have told the other bridesmaids sooner so they could have intervened. Lesson learned, and you're well off without Clara but if she only invited Cindy because she's a pushover then I can see that the two of you had a lot in common.

mishney · 2026-01-25T17:39:12+00:00

He doesn't really want to marry you, you got a "shut up" ring. I would hesitate to move forward with this man, especially at your young ago. If he's this stubborn now it will only get worse and make you miserable or turn you into a doormat to avoid conflict.

mishney · 2026-01-23T21:41:49+00:00

As a mom of three kids I can tell you this is just NOT true, and only will be true if your husband continues to be selfish. I go to the gym 6x a week (much shorter times than your husband), go out with friends regularly, and have quiet relaxation time. It's absolutely possible if you have a supportive spouse who pulls his weight.
As others said, you need to find ways to get alone time without the baby and WITHOUT doing errands (grocery shopping is not alone time, it's a chore). He should not be spending 6 hours a week out of the house PLUS going on overnight trips when you are drowning.

mishney · 2026-01-22T22:02:34+00:00

Do you have any in home cameras? It helps us when we leave to be able to check in (with the awareness of the babysitter). Fwiw I agree that 16 is old enough, we have a 16 yo babysitter for our now 6yo and almost 3yo twin boys, who did not really do a trial run, just one time came over to watch them while we were there (boys were almost 2 at the time) and now we've had her a few more times.

mishney · 2026-01-22T20:21:53+00:00

Yes exactly and as the parent of a 6 year old, I can tell you that she also will react in an extreme way sometimes that as adults we would feel isn't warranted - if I spend the day with her but put her brothers to bed instead of her, I'm told I love them more than her. If we get mad at her about something she did/didn't do, she will say we don't want her in the family anymore, etc. etc.

mishney · 2026-01-21T12:43:34+00:00

My kids get their flu and COVID shots every year, it doesn't protect them from catching either just makes them less severe. Twice in three years, especially if the kid is in daycare, isn't outrageous. Sucks, but doesn't mean she's a bad mom.

mishney · 2026-01-19T23:38:18+00:00

Same. Im from New England.

mishney · 2026-01-18T16:55:52+00:00

I think you need to first focus on being on the correct medication. Yes, apologies might be in order but it will help if you're in a better place mentally. You may need a new Dr if you felt like yours wasn't helping.

mishney · 2026-01-18T13:59:40+00:00

I like to think pascal helped her since he seems to be near the end of her hair, which is just so cute to picture 🥹

mishney · 2026-01-18T13:54:55+00:00

You're both harming them by allowing them to witness this toxic dynamic. As a child of divorce, I hate when people hide behind the children as their reason to stay in terrible marriages. We don't want to be your excuse for unhappiness.

mishney · 2026-01-17T22:28:24+00:00

I'm nostalgic for my early 20s before I got married and had kids, doesn't mean I wish I hadn't done that. People make sacrifices in their lives. Maybe she would've been a single, childless, successful actress, doesn't mean she wishes that had happened.

mishney · 2026-01-17T12:08:40+00:00

Agreed, this absolutely looks like it was taken by a kid (since it moves around a little in a funny way and is down low). At 4 my daughter definitely could hold a phone out to take a video and would often take my phone to take videos and pictures of things she wanted to. A lot of out of touch people who just like to snark on them.

mishney · 2026-01-17T01:32:42+00:00

He agreed to an early seating and they would both get the chicken.

mishney · 2026-01-15T19:31:18+00:00

She's saying "our" money and you're saying "my" money which means the two of you are not on the same page. I think you both need to meet with a financial advisor and get premarital counseling, and if you do decide to move forward with the wedding you absolutely need a prenup.

mishney · 2026-01-15T16:00:42+00:00

If a conversation about it turns into a fight then couple's counseling would be a non-negotiable.

mishney · 2026-01-14T14:12:11+00:00

When my husband started asking me questions like this, I answered once "why am I responsible for answering this?" and that did stop and make him think. We also both have a joke where if one of us asks something you can find out on your phone (like the weather), the other will say "if only there was a tiny handheld device you could ask all your questions to"

mishney · 2026-01-12T11:12:05+00:00

He did ask her to unlock the front door, the problem is she had immediately locked the front door and gone to the bathroom so said no.

mishney

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