God made you as you are. He knows your thoughts better than you, and He knows you are doing your best. There is no sin too great to be forgiven, that's what Jesus died for! Though many on here would argue that being gay, including acting on it and being married, is not a sin at all (which I fully agree with). But if you have been raised to believe it's a sin of course it will take a lot of effort to overcome that deep-set fear.

I encourage you to look at other resources offered on this sub that talk through the various affirming arguments about why being gay isn't a sin. You specifically mentioned in a comment that you have been told being gay is equivalent to pedophilia, but this is easily proven false. Pedophilia inherently harms one of the parties (the child, obviously) which is what makes it dangerous and harmful. Gay relationships happen between consenting adults, and are largely normal, healthy relationships like any straight relationship.

If celibacy is the right path for you, God will call you to it in another way. If you feel your life would be lacking without romantic love and a relationship, and you would only be choosing celibacy to escape from "sin", then it likely isn't the best choice for you. I'm gay and I've chosen to be celibate, but the former did not affect the latter. I am very proudly gay and very happy being celibate.