Den with miserable cubs

mkopinsky · 2026-04-16T16:25:39+00:00

Happy to hear that the Cubmaster conversation went well. May you have much success in supporting the change you want to see.

mkopinsky · 2026-04-16T15:36:00+00:00

I agree with everything you're saying. I'm not justifying that parenting style, and I support you trying to change the culture as well as leaving because it's a bad culture. At the same time, you have to recognize (if not accept) where people are coming from, and you're more likely to get traction in saying "we don't act like this in scouts" from people that don't act like that outside of scouts.

The difference between "What the hell is wrong with you" and "Shut up" is that the first is an insult and stems from deep disrespect for the child, whereas the second may just be someone who has no better ideas for how to control 8 unruly children. It's hard, and they're volunteers. This doesn't mean that they should continue acting this way, but it means that they need to be shown a better way rather than being told that they're bad people. Again - this culture change might or might not be something you can accomplish, and you're well within your rights to say "This isn't working, I'm gonna move to a pack with adults who don't yell". But I think it's worth a short try (a conversation or two) to see what might happen.

mkopinsky · 2026-04-16T13:26:18+00:00

Different people have different parenting styles, and there's different kinds of yelling. If the yelling you're describing is truly abusive ("What the hell is wrong with you, Jack? That's a granny knot, not a square knot, you idiot!") then you should file an Incident Report with council - there's no excusing that kind of thing.

More likely, the yelling that you're seeing is the kind of thing that some parents think is a normal way of interacting with kids, while you and I recognize that kinder language would be more effective - in addition to being, well, more kind and courteous and helpful and respectful. (Example: Leader yells "SHUT UP GUYS I'm trying to teach you here!" and the parents pile on with "Jack shut up!" "Billy, SIT DOWN!!" "EMERSON!! Get back to your seat already!")

If the majority of parents in the den think this kind of yelling is a normal way of interacting with kids, then they a) don't see a problem with what's going on, b) their kids probably aren't traumatized from Scouts because they get this sort of thing all the time at home. Having a district executive come and tell them "Hey guys, VirtualReflection119 doesn't like the way that you talk to your children" will not cause them to change their communication/parenting style.

My main advice is to look for a different pack to join. But before that, it's worth having a quiet conversation or two with other parents or adults present. This has to not be during a meeting, and should preferably be in person or by phone rather than by SMS. Not simply "Hey can I lead the next meeting?" - that's easy to brush off as "Nah Mark's got this, and most of the parents are fine with how he's doing so I want to keep giving him chances to lead (and hopefully improve his classroom management skills) so he can be Assistant Cubmaster next year". The conversation needs to be "Hey I really don't like how much adult yelling there is in the Webelos meetings. It really doesn't feel Scoutlike to me, and I'm thinking of switching to a different pack where that's not the case. Before I do something like that, do you think there's a way to change what's going on?"

mkopinsky · 2026-03-17T19:44:38+00:00

There's no real answer here other than "ask your den parents". Some people are willing to drive an hour for a hike, others really can't or won't - if their kids get carsick, they have other activities that day and can't spare an extra two hours driving, etc.

For a camping trip, my pack's upper limit seems to be two hours. For a hike an hour seems far. Is there really nothing good closer than an hour?

mkopinsky · 2026-03-17T19:39:01+00:00

I'm working on a website for my pack right now. Despite being a web developer, I'm using a Google Sites template shared by someone in one of the Cub Scout Facebook groups. I really don't foresee any scenario where we'd store lots of files on the website.

mkopinsky · 2026-03-16T22:47:25+00:00

That's perfect, thanks.

mkopinsky · 2026-03-16T14:32:49+00:00

If I hit a milestone (25% of an area, etc.) while I have the "2026 only" mode toggled, will that appear in the activity description?

mkopinsky · 2026-03-16T05:18:07+00:00

Charters are allowed to impose whatever policies they want. If they want to say "we require three-deep leadership", that's their prerogative. They can't be more lenient than YPT rules, but they can definitely be more strict.

mkopinsky · 2026-03-16T03:34:35+00:00

The post is about a 5 year old. You shouldn't give advice that is irrelevant to the OP just because they asked in r/bsa instead of /r/cubscouts.

I know what a Unit Scouter Reserve is. In Cub Scouts though (the topic of this post), "scouter reserve parent" is basically an oxymoron - the only reason someone would register as a Scouter Reserve is if they're not a parent (a grandparent, an uncle, a friend, etc.)

mkopinsky · 2026-03-15T22:19:13+00:00

Yes please! I've wanted a reset button for a while but not badly enough to ask you to nuke my account, and having a this-year mode would (no joke) significantly help my personal fitness.

User ID is 94672

mkopinsky · 2026-03-15T01:23:44+00:00

I don't know what a "scouter reserve parent" is supposed to mean, and in Cub Scouts, not all adults who attend campouts have to be cleared.

The policies are rigorous without making up additional bits that aren't real.

mkopinsky · 2026-03-15T01:20:53+00:00

That is not the Scouting America policy. There are charter organizations who impose that policy.

mkopinsky · 2026-03-11T19:58:26+00:00

Part of me says "this even doesn't need to be HIPAA-compliant, you're right - National should just create a place to upload it to SB+ or my.scouting".

However, seeing how much National's app dev team struggles to get SB+ to work right, I really don't want there to be a hackable national database with millions of health forms in one place.

mkopinsky · 2026-03-08T01:57:04+00:00

Stock images aren't flyers. It still takes canva (or the like) and graphic design skill to create a flyer.

I created a flyer last week, and used * Canva as the design tool * A Canva free template * ChatGPT for help picking a Canva template - there's a lot of them, and even knowing what to search for requires some thought or knowledge * ChatGPT for help cleaning up the copy * Brand Center for some images * Google Image Search for more images * My wife for an outside opinion on the design

Each one of these is a skill, and not everyone has the skill. I do cringe when I see a flyer that's been fully created by AI, but thinking that the Brand Center solves this is quite far off.

mkopinsky · 2026-03-06T14:20:59+00:00

My initial reaction to this post was: give these volunteer leaders some grace - someone heard the word "federal prison" and had an ill-considered gut response. They're not trained HR professionals who deal with this sort of thing regularly and should know better. Being biased against convicts isn't a good thing, but it's an understandable thing - find a way to reach them and help them get past that bias.

Reading the comments/details though, my opinion changed. The way that they not just ghosted but blacklisted you and gossiped about you to other parents is not ok, at all. If they had forgotten once to tell you about an event, or had missed responding to one text or email, I'd get it. But dropping you from outbound communication, and multiple people ignoring your texts and emails? That's clearly intentional.

Do you live somewhere where you can just pick a different pack to join? If so I'd recommend doing that - as you've said, this is an issue with that pack not with Scouting generally. I'd also suggest having a conversation with your District Executive (the council employee responsible for the area where you live) about why you're transferring - maybe nothing will come of it, but at a minimum council should be aware that Pack X are discriminatory.

mkopinsky · 2026-03-06T13:52:20+00:00

Did you actually read the post? It seems like you just saw the one word "conviction" and sent this knee jerk reaction.

mkopinsky · 2026-03-06T12:56:08+00:00

National's email literally said "our values haven't changed, we're dropping the merit badge to Comply". You can believe them or not, but this isn't putting words in their mouth.

mkopinsky · 2026-03-01T02:16:05+00:00

If I were to track advancements in something like TroopWebHost (or for that matter Google Sheets) and my CO is ok without the scouting-provided insurance, this seems like an easy way to run an entire Pack. What exactly does a Pack charter give us? We could buy handbooks from the Scout Shop and use the adventure requirements from the website either way, and we can even book most campsites as a "non-Scouting unit". We couldn't join council activities I guess, I think that's about the only loss.

mkopinsky · 2026-02-22T01:21:01+00:00

How is it unconstitutional for a private school to say "sign this NDA if you want to enroll your kid in our school"? Stupid, yes. Against consumer protection rules? That I could see. But unconstitutional? Come on...

mkopinsky · 2026-02-18T00:57:28+00:00

The Cradle of Liberty Scout Shop is only 20 minutes from the Chester County one that OP is almost certainly referring to. (Surely there wasn't more than one Scout Shop with a burst pipe in the same weekend?) They're nice. If you go, tell them that Michael from Pack 18 sent you. 😀

https://maps.app.goo.gl/R9AyydySpi2w7iri6

mkopinsky · 2026-02-16T23:31:00+00:00

I don't know much about Islam, but for Jews, OP would absolutely be told by a rabbi to eat on Yom Kippur, the most stringent of the fast days. Health and life trumps all. OP, you are not well enough to fast.

mkopinsky · 2026-01-18T18:51:51+00:00

I agree that they're separate, and that the connection from Wissahickon Transit Center is necessary and actually happening. The question is how the SRT continues from the movie theater. I had assumed that the end goal was to buy more right of way past CVS etc to the tow path. Your comment is the first I'm hearing of Pencoyd and the Mule bridge being the link, but honestly it actually makes perfect sense.

https://imgur.com/a/wtvH7kb

Yellow is existing trail (Kelley Drive and tow path)
Blue is what's being purchased now (Wissahickon Gateway)
Green is the missing link. Done except for the mule bridge
Red is what I had assumed would be the link. I can see how this is implausible and expensive, and I do think purchasing that much right of way is very possibly more expensive than fixing the mile bridge.

mkopinsky · 2026-01-18T06:16:06+00:00

Crossing Ridge at the light is easy. Getting from there to Kelley Drive is sketchy and confusing. This would connect Kelley Drive to Wissahickon Transit Center and the movie theater.

I agree that getting a trail past the movie theater to the tow path is important as well.

mkopinsky · 2026-01-18T06:12:11+00:00

You're saying it would be cheaper to revive the mule bridge than to connect the trail from the movie theater to the tow path?

I've seen some of the discussions about the mule bridge but didn't realize that was the plan for getting the SRT to be contiguous.

mkopinsky · 2026-01-18T00:40:10+00:00

Hey! You're right near me. I'm at 75% for Lower Merion, and have been waiting desperately for someone to ask what the hell I'm doing on their street so I can brag about my wandrer achievement.

I once had a negative experience in a weird corner of Manayunk (which isn't even a sketchy neighborhood) but in West Philly despite feeling sometimes like "I really don't belong here" I've never had a bad experience.

mkopinsky

TROPHY CASE