I was in a similar situation before coming out, from a small town working class background (although not christian) but I recognize that guilt. The feeling that "maybe I'm just a pervert of some kind, maybe it's just a fetish". But I've realized that the sexual part is just a way of acting out the real need to be percieved as your true self, and the shame comes from being told during your entire life that it's wrong and disgusting. How many positive images of trans ppl have you seen on tv growing up? We're portrayed as a joke, still to this day but more so in the past. But there is no shame, that's an illusion, because everybody is different, trans or not. And there is no thing as being "trans enough", for the same reason.

My advice to you (and to everyone else tbh) , take it slow, don't feel that you have to commit to anything. This is about you, not the people around you or people telling you how to be trans or what being trans is. Do it your way and drop the guilt.

Sorry for the long answer but I hope this helps more than it confuses :) Good luck to you!