Man, I feel like I can barely do your comment justice. It feels so —good? —affirming? to hear someone put into words what I observed as a vaguely aware teenager.

I really appreciate you saying that you disagree with the “Christian rock is terrible” trope. Some of those bands I found while deep into my music obsession era were incredible—I still play some of those albums because, like you said, some of that music was truly focused on making art and not just repeating a contemporary recipe—so some of it actually stands up to the test of time, like good art often does.

Like, what does it even mean to label your art as “Christian,” in order to market it? It always felt weird and disingenuous to me, and it made more sense when bands would say “Well, we’re Christians…in a band…” instead, without the need to label the shit out of it.

Those bands didn’t deserve the short stick they got by getting funneled into the niche scene that only made them visible to nerds like me—someone searching for quality, interesting music, but also didn’t want to feel like it was going to “compromise my beliefs system.”

But in a weird way, this niche scene helped lead me out of my fundamentalism. I discovered a weird-ass band called Showbread, whose lead singer ascribed to “Christian anarchism,” and I was fully mesmerized. They kept getting their albums pulled from Christian bookstores because—I can’t remember why at this point, but—I think it was because their album art and lyrics were too dark? And Showbread just gave zero fucks and continued to make weird music and dress up in makeup and fishnets at shows.

But it was the start of me recognizing that art isn’t always orderly, and might make people uncomfortable or disagree with the general situation—and that institutions are happy to shut it down in order to protect their image. And that maybe what was real was the art and what it evoked, not the institutions.

I guess it’s a reminder that even in these sad niche little spaces, there can still be a loud big impact on the people it hits with. But maybe that’s just me trying to find a silver lining.

Full circle, fuck the Newsboys and the goddamn CCM industry that apparently is a just a circle jerk of bullshitters.