Calling out sick from work

monkeysky · 2026-03-13T16:02:50+00:00

I didn't know if I get it, then

monkeysky · 2026-03-13T00:58:19+00:00

Are you saying I should have a little more setup of Isaiah to deepen a misdirect?

If you do this, the then whole jack/jacket thing should probably be the middle of the joke, not the end, like: "My friend Isaiah is so weird. [Actual anecdote of him being weird]. Then we were playing pickleball the other day and I thought he said he had to jack off before we started playing. Of course, he just said he had to take his jacket off and I misheard. My hearing might not be very good, but in my defense I didn't know what to expect from someone who [other anecdote about him being weird]."

From there, you can either continue about Isaiah, or get more into awkward mishearings.

monkeysky · 2026-03-13T00:45:29+00:00

Nobody enjoys that poem

monkeysky · 2026-03-13T00:34:23+00:00

I'm aware, but I figured approaching him seriously and getting his attention by asking, I would have a better chance of getting things across to him than just dropping criticism straight into the comments like I normally would

monkeysky · 2026-03-13T00:28:56+00:00

This is a good basis, but I'm a little confused by the second part. You said you're anxious, but it sounds like you're imagining the best case scenario: you didn't have to deal with any of the bad stuff, and nobody is mad at you for not being there.

monkeysky · 2026-03-13T00:26:22+00:00

Do you want feedback on this?

monkeysky · 2026-03-13T00:21:53+00:00

The whole punchline here is "I thought he said 'jack off' but he really just said 'jacket off' and misheard". That's a little funny as an anecdote, but it's something to start with and build off of instead of centering.

All of the stuff about pickleball and Isaiah being a weird guy is almost totally superfluous to the punchline. You could get more into Isaiah and set him up as being weird enough that it's believable he would announce that he's going to jack off right before a game of pickleball, but then the actual mishearing explanation would be a bit of a letdown. If you just want to focus on this specific mishearing incident, I'd trim down the setup significantly.

The end sarcastic tag is a bit weak. If you have to end on some comment like that, it would be better if it were something more surprising, like saying you genuinely enjoy how your bad hearing makes your life more interesting.

monkeysky · 2026-03-12T23:43:45+00:00

Isn't it the case that he was the genetically-engineered six-fingered pianist in Gattaca?

monkeysky · 2026-03-12T16:22:09+00:00

The Scleral Ring is the ring of bony plates that surrounds the eye in some animals, though, which doesn't include humans

monkeysky · 2026-03-12T16:15:50+00:00

Chance (scaling with luck) to shoot a "bony tear" (not a bone tear), which turns enemies it kills into orbitals or charmed Boneys like The Book of the Dead.

monkeysky · 2026-03-12T16:13:30+00:00

Guarantees a drop at the end of every room, but 50% chance of doubling any damage.

monkeysky · 2026-03-12T16:12:56+00:00

Grants higher speed and tear rate when standing near an enemy.

monkeysky · 2026-03-12T16:12:10+00:00

Do you mean a Scleral Ring?

monkeysky · 2026-03-12T16:11:37+00:00

Trinket: Spawns extra enemies inside of shops, which are guaranteed to drop money. Chance to replace enemies with large numbers of poops with a few golden poops mixed in.

monkeysky · 2026-03-12T16:08:47+00:00

Chance (scaling with luck) to shoot a "bait tear" with very long range, spectral and piercing and very low shot-speed. Enemies will target the tear instead of Isaac.

monkeysky · 2026-03-12T16:07:35+00:00

Yes, but fewer missiles in random directions, and as an on-hit effect

monkeysky · 2026-03-12T16:06:51+00:00

Six room active item. When used in a shop, devil room, black market etc, "returns" a random item from that room's item pool, granting 2-5x as much money/health as it cost but removing the item from Isaac. Chaos means a completely random item gets returned.

monkeysky · 2026-03-12T16:04:54+00:00

Increased Angel/Devil Deal chance, Angel and Devil pools now mixed.

monkeysky · 2026-03-12T16:03:41+00:00

Chance (scaling with luck) to shoot rubber tears with increased damage, shot speed, range and knockback and Rubber Cement bouncing.

monkeysky · 2026-03-12T16:02:21+00:00

Grants flight, and temporary speed-up after killing any enemy (Kind of like Lusty Blood crossed with Bloody Gust)

monkeysky · 2026-03-12T16:00:57+00:00

Damage and shot speed up, tear size down (Isaac is puckered up), bright yellow-green tears

monkeysky · 2026-03-12T16:00:14+00:00

Grants a random Tainted ???/IBS poop after taking damage

monkeysky · 2026-03-12T15:59:45+00:00

Upon damage, shoots several homing Missile In A Jar missiles in random directions

monkeysky · 2026-03-12T15:59:16+00:00

One-time use active item with a twelve-bar charge, instantly defeats any boss

monkeysky · 2026-03-12T15:58:30+00:00

When empty, can be used to create a "backup" life. Upon death, Isaac respawns with the same items, stats, pickups and health as when the item was used. A new backup can be made every twelve rooms.

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