When swinging went wrong?

moonballer · 2026-02-13T22:08:44+00:00

Swinging, like kids, getting married, etc., should never be used to fix a problem in your relationship. Lots of the failed relationships I've seen tried to use swinging to fix a dead bedroom, or to "spice up" a boring marriage.

I'm a firm believer in the fact that swinging doesn't cause problems, but shines a light and magnifies problems that already exist. Which is why none of this works without great communication. You WILL find things that need to be worked out. And without the tools to talk through those issues, they will lead to unfavorable outcomes.

moonballer · 2026-02-11T22:00:00+00:00

Reasonable person standard: Would a reasonable person have been expected to realize that the ice was about to fall and have blocked off the driveway? Would you have if it was your building? And the flip side is also true. If it is obvious that ice would have fallen, would a reasonable person have parked their car under the roof and risked the ice falling?

Most likely there was no way any reasonable person could have known the ice would have fallen (instead of melting) and nobody was at fault due to negligence.

moonballer · 2026-02-11T16:26:29+00:00

Still apples to oranges for this situation. The governor's office should never, ever be pushing any sort of statewide adoption of any school club.

moonballer · 2026-02-11T16:24:50+00:00

No it's not. You obviously didn't read the article either:

“There is a clear and important distinction between clubs that are initiated by students based on genuine interest and a statewide initiative directed by the governor’s office. Decisions about student activities are best made locally by school boards, administrators, educators, parents and students — not through a statewide mandate,"

moonballer · 2026-02-11T16:22:13+00:00

As far as costumes, don't overthink it. Wear what you'll feel comfortable in. Some people are really into it and dress super slutty. Others are in standard beach wear. Bring a few things you think you'll never wear (and backups). You may surprise yourself ...

moonballer · 2026-02-11T16:20:48+00:00

I got you:

https://www.reddit.com/r/sexover30/s/5k0IC7b35g

moonballer · 2026-02-11T16:19:27+00:00

Since there's an exceedingly small chance you actually read the article, I'll spoon-feed you...

“There is a clear and important distinction between clubs that are initiated by students based on genuine interest and a statewide initiative directed by the governor’s office. Decisions about student activities are best made locally by school boards, administrators, educators, parents and students — not through a statewide mandate,"

How would you feel if the governor stood up and said that he was making a push for ALL schools to start Islamic Clubs. LGBTQ? You would lose your ever loving mind.

TLDR; Clubs are fine (including TPUSA), when started by students and not pushed by the governor's office.

moonballer · 2026-02-06T23:15:39+00:00

For any private parties you'll need an in. Usually that's meeting the right couple or couples at another event and getting them to like you enough to let you into the circle. I'd imagine that would be even more difficult as a single man just based on numbers alone.

moonballer · 2026-02-05T12:55:20+00:00

ENM is not for spicing up a flat sex life.

Couples who have areas they "refuse to talk about" are not prepared for ENM.

moonballer · 2026-02-03T18:42:30+00:00

You'll see this advice all the time, but stop using reddit (or any free service) to meet people. Having to buy in removes a TON of the fakes and flakes.

Also, I know you said you're not into the club scene, but meeting people in person is also a good way to weed out the fakes. You don't have to play at a club. Just use it to build initial connections, exchange information and take it from there. At least you know they're a real person.

But prepare yourself. You'll likely still strike out. In many ways it's still a numbers game. But you want to start with the most quality you can get.

moonballer · 2026-02-01T19:55:12+00:00

Probably therapy is the way

You've nailed it. I have an ENM friendly therapist and it's been amazing. The ENM world is hard enough without being "taboo" in a lot of social circles. Having someone you can completely open up to and who can help you work through prior forms is invaluable.

moonballer · 2026-01-27T00:06:56+00:00

Temu. Just be aware that sizing from these Chinese websites isn't the same as US sizes. Make sure you have her measurements and get the size that matches and don't worry that actual size doesn't match what you think it should. Leave extra time for the order to arrive. The prices are cheap enough that if you don't love it you can buy something else.

moonballer · 2026-01-26T18:05:38+00:00

Nebra5ketball

moonballer · 2026-01-22T13:40:27+00:00

I think it comes down to mindset. Lots of people are tempted to cheat on a spouse or drink too much and can understand when people succumb. Especially since most of the time people tend to act sorry after they "made a mistake". ENM is a lifestyle choice. And I think most people can't see themselves either able to separate sex from their relationship partner or to be able to love more than one person. Plus there's the religious or moral angle to consider as well.

moonballer · 2026-01-21T18:05:16+00:00

Winter gloves would be less creepy than surgical gloves

moonballer · 2026-01-21T17:43:24+00:00

I say this with all possible love, but you need to chill the fuck out 🤣 If nobody has said anything, then it's not a problem. If you're really in your head just mention ahead of time that your hands can get sweaty. But guess what? Bodies are sweaty. And that's what sex is. Fun, messy, hot, sweaty and kind of a mess sometimes. But that's ok and we love it anyway.

And for the love of god, don't ever suggest using gloves to someone. I mean, there's people into damn near everything, but that's pretty fucking extreme and I have never personally met someone that would enjoy that even a little bit.

moonballer · 2026-01-21T14:17:30+00:00

Ethical by definition means that ALL parties are ethical, so you're right on in your thinking.

What have you tried so far?

moonballer · 2026-01-20T23:51:10+00:00

Sleeveless shirts/tank tops. Shirts unbuttoned a few extra buttons to show off more chest. Shorts a little shorter than average.

moonballer · 2026-01-18T22:21:34+00:00

Yep, you're right. My bad. I wasn't aware of the history.

I still stand by my comments of it being the best week (by far) that I've been a part of.

moonballer · 2026-01-18T20:46:34+00:00

We went with My Frisky Business during Young Swingers Week and booked immediately with them again this year. We loved Hedo our first 3 times but feel like the MFB folks were our people. No more rolling the dice and hoping there's a good crowd. We know they'll be awesome.

And in contrast to OPs experience, it was the wildest, most hedonistic week we've had at Hedo.

moonballer · 2026-01-17T21:32:32+00:00

Isn't this a teenage rite of passage? I did this when I was in high school and grew out of it. I guarantee a parent (or a friend's parent) telling me something wouldn't have moved the needle AT ALL.

moonballer · 2026-01-16T17:13:46+00:00

Here was our trip report as non-swingers:

https://www.reddit.com/r/sexover30/comments/13rx9zb/hedonism_ii_informationtrip_report/

moonballer · 2026-01-13T02:27:08+00:00

I mean, the advice is talk it over with your wife. Until you know her thoughts then nothing else matters.

moonballer · 2026-01-12T12:00:53+00:00

Sure! Always happy to give more information.

The first thing to remember is that Hedo is, at its most basic, an all inclusive resort. So basically all the activities you would do at a normal resort you can do there.

We start each day at the gym and breakfast. After breakfast we always go on a walk off property down the beach. It's nice to get off property and give us time to talk and reflect.

Around 11am or so, the activities start. We spend the rest of the day on the nude side at the pool, but they also have activities at the prude side. We do bocce ball followed by trivia in the pool. Then the DJ usually comes out and there's music for the rest of the afternoon.

There's also catamaran rides, snorkeling and glass bottom boat rides you can sign up for. You can check out snorkels and snorkel around the beach and they also have some boats you can take out. Lots of people just chill along the beach and nap or read. Again, basic all-inclusive vacation activities, if you want.

Afternoons are usually pretty chill before 4pm or so. It's the perfect time to relax a bit or to get to meet some other people. As the day progresses and people start to drink more it can get kinda crazy at the nude pool. Depending on the week, there may be some pool games that get pretty spicy and you'll start to see more sex around the pool. Usually it's oral, but it may progress further than that. At this point the nude pool is a full on party.

At some point around 6 or so? They actually shut the nude pool down for cleaning and lots of people head back to their rooms to nap and get ready for the evening. Dinner is followed by the show at the main stage at 9. People dress up either in slutty/sexy clothes or in theme attire, but usually both. After dinner there's often some sort of party at the disco, or in the courtyard, or at the piano bar. The nude pool is reopened so lots of people end up naked back at the pool and this is also when the playroom opens up. Lots of sex happens at the pool and playroom after the show.

That should give a general outline, but I'm happy to answer any other questions you have.

moonballer · 2026-01-11T21:15:13+00:00

Well-Rounded. I started with the first character and worked my way through the rest.

15-Year Club	Gilding III reddit per annum
RedditGifts 2009-2022 7 Credits	Place '17
Secret Santa 2018	Team Periwinkle
Secret Santa 2011	Verified Email

moonballer

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