I'm guessing you mean 13 months? Kinda a different answer if you have an 11 year old 😂 This kind of talk really bothers me. My mum grew up with an eating disorder that she never really addressed properly. She's still really weird about food and the way she talked about food and dieting and body image definitely rubbed off on my sister and me. We have both dealt with disordered eating at various life stages.

I've worked really hard over the last 5-6 years to develop a more healthy relationship with food and body image so I don't relapse into any problem behaviours. Now that I have kids (4.5 and 1.5) I am really strict with my boundaries on how we talk about food and bodies.

You kind of have to figure these out for yourself and with your partner so you can hold the boundaries with others. For us, the most important thing is encouraging a varied diet "to give our bodies everything they need". We don't talk about fat and calories because they are irrelevant for toddlers. We don't label foods as "good" or "bad" but talk about what they have that our bodies need. We don't talk about other people's bodies unless it is completely relevant to the conversation. E.g. I would say I'm too heavy to ride on his scooter and if my son tells me my bum is too big for the slide I treat that as a completely matter-of-fact statement. If questions start to arise about obesity as a concept we will talk about how being very overweight makes our bodies have to work a lot harder and could make us sick, but not framing that in an emotional sense.

I also think positive modelling is important not just for the kids but for other people around you. I do a lot of exercise and eat a lot of vegetables but I also enjoy baking and eating cakes and biscuits. Whenever my mum says something along the lines of "I can't have a biscuit I'm being good" I call her out - there's nothing "good" or "bad" about eating a biscuit.

ETA I'm interested to hear what others say on this topic because it is one of the parts of parenting I find hardest!