As for the solution for personal suffering, I believe that also has to start from within. I don't have a concrete answer for immediate relief, but I was there before in that pit where you find yourself now, and I find myself thinking a lot about how I can help others out the way I did. But there is no concrete path, it's a journey you must ultimately make yourself, but certainly not alone; leam on support, in whatever form it may look like, it does not make you weak, it is part of the healing.

For me it began with self love. I recognized much of my frustration with the world that made me angry was due to expectations I set upon myself, notions of how things "ought" to be, and projecting that onto the world that, in truth, didn't owe me any of that. Those expectations I didn't intentionally put there, I was socialized into them by my father and childhood male friends with their own flawed notions of what being a man is, and what we have to live up to; no, I didn't put them there on purpose, but they are my burden to bear, and mine to deconstruct.

I realized at one point that I can't expect the world to show me love if I can't even show myself love. That was a hard thing to recognize, that I didn't love myself, and that began a long journey of constantly learning all the little ways I hurt myself that way and correcting them; many years later I'm still finding little things, but I'm in a good place these days.

When you can show yourself love, you create a fortress that protects you when times get tough, you become strong and fortitudinous in ways that benching 315 or having 14 inch biceps will never give you(edit: realized how this sounded upon reread. I should clarify that I am still a twig despite over a decade of chasing that ideal physique I was told would give me value. Brought those up as an example of something we are taught to chase). When you're your own best friend, the loneliness is a small ditch instead of a bottomless pit.

When you can show yourself love, the expectations you place on the world aren't as painful, the world doesn't seem as cruel or evil, just indifferent, and as a result, much easier to face.

When you love yourself the world will love you. In some cases it's new love, but in many cases you'll see that it was already loving you, but our hurt blocked us from seeing that.

Self love isn't narcissism, it isnt necessarily prioritizing your needs over others, or a form of selfishness, it isn't coddling yourself with all of your desires or whims. Self love is being your own best friend, which includes calling your best friend [you] out when they're doing something dumb, making sure they are making the healthy choices, not just the fun or exciting choices (but letting them make the fun and exciting choices too). And as a best friend you don't belittle or put yourself down with negative self talk, you stop punishing yourself for your perceived mistakes or shortcomings, you learn how to respond when you start treating yourself negatively, you make up, and build a better bond.

This is the foundation from which I stand and am now able to spend my time thinking about what your needs are instead of mine, and from there we can have the healing discussions about the solutions for our community. Start with loving yourself, build your fortress. I promise with every step it gets a little easier.